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Relatives have destroyed/stolen my grandmas stamp collection worth thousands

110 replies

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:28

I'm just posting this as if I don't get this out somewhere and come to ter,s with it I'm going to get ill with the injustice and frustration

Basically my beloved grandma brought me up as one of her own which made an uncle very jealous.

I've also been nc with my mother for over 20 years as she is a spiteful, mean woman with no maternal bone in her body
I have a younger brother who is an addict , now 41, toothless, straggly long hair, wears women's clothing and publicly identified himself on fb as a drug dealer who I'm also nc with

My Nan was a stamp collector from being around 12 years old . Her collection was impressive and carefully cataloged into expensive albums in three categories, new world, Asia and Europe.

By the time she died in 2004 the collection was huge and rare, and worth around 200,000 k

The day after she died my aunt, who is basically like my sister , caught my mother and her brother loading the stamp albums into their cars
She asked what was going on and my mother said we're getting them valued and selling them. My aunt tried to stop them and ,y mother hit her. Finished taking the albums (there were around 150) and drove away

Up until then my aunt had stayed in contact with my mums brother (her step brother) and he backpedaled saying the. COllection was at his for safe keeping . He died a couple of weeks ago so my aunt and her brother (my other uncle who I was brought up with ) asked if ,y cousin (mean uncles dd) could use me as a go between and could she take the collection to me .

Well
She turned up yesterday at my house , we had a lovely catch up and went for lunch. She then said let's empty the albums from the car

What she brought is my nans 'stock books" , basically tatty a4 ring indeed with scraps in. Not a single proper album. I asked her where the actual albums were and she said as far as she knew this was the collection! I said no it isn't , these are her working stock books , and explained there were approx 150 pristine Stanley gibbons albums with entire collections in, and they were categorised into 3 sections, new world, Europe and Asia

She said she didn't know anything about them and that's all she had found at her dad's address

I have cried and cried , not because of the value , but because that was her life's work, her pride and joy , and they've gone and destroyed it, carved it up and sold it.

Oisin turned up in a brand new expensive car, said oh yes dad had 100k just in cash , and he's obviously left her his house too

That cash , that cash I suspect is my nans stamp collection. She had clear instructions for who got what but no will .

It's not the money, it's the way they've piled in like vultures and torn her life's work apart for their own gain and not even considered me, ,y aunt or uncle who were also her children.

My mother hadn't even seen my Nan since the 1980s .

I'm eaten up inside . I'm sat looking at these tatty stock books , and yes her hand writing is in them so I'll keep them although there's 40 stock books and where the hell I'll store them I don't know . Attic probably.

I'm just so sad . Her beautiful stamps are gone .

OP posts:
Anothershitusername · 11/09/2023 13:41

Very few people could afford to keep something worth so much money ..people can’t afford gas and electricity these days .
your nans children would of sold them regardless
unless your Nan was not with it ,everyone knows to write a will ,if no will ,what you have goes to next of kin
if your Nan wanted you to have the stamps she would of written a will,she didn’t,and would of known everything would of gone to her next of kin ,her children..
your a grandchild,if she wanted you to have something,she would of wrote a will..
she obviously wanted her children to inherit,or she would of written a will

LlynTegid · 11/09/2023 13:44

What would you normally do with someone who has stolen something worth say £100k?

Involve the police.

caringcarer · 11/09/2023 13:51

OP my Gran had a huge family Bible that was about 16 inches tall and 10 inches wide. It had all my family's history of births, marriages and deaths written in. It went back 3 generations before my Gran had included all cousins etc too. She showed me it when I was about 12 and family history really interests me. I do genealogy now. One of my Aunties took it to the tip along with boxes of records, books and old blankets. I was at Uni at the time. I came home for my Gran's funeral and found my Aunty had started clearing her house and for some reason that previous Bible was one of the first things she got rid off. I asked my Dad about why my Auntie would start to empty Gran's house before her funeral and he said it might just be his sister's way of grieving. I never mentioned it to my Auntie as I thought it might upset her, and she is dead now, but I would have loved that family Bible.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 11/09/2023 13:54

I mean law and legal stuff isn't my forte? And I suspect to long a time has passed but OP do you know anyone with any legal expertise that you could have at least an informal chat with?
Might help you put it to bed so to speak or take action.

Lilolilibet · 11/09/2023 14:03

What a very sad story.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 14:10

Anothershitusername · 11/09/2023 13:41

Very few people could afford to keep something worth so much money ..people can’t afford gas and electricity these days .
your nans children would of sold them regardless
unless your Nan was not with it ,everyone knows to write a will ,if no will ,what you have goes to next of kin
if your Nan wanted you to have the stamps she would of written a will,she didn’t,and would of known everything would of gone to her next of kin ,her children..
your a grandchild,if she wanted you to have something,she would of wrote a will..
she obviously wanted her children to inherit,or she would of written a will

Please would,people READ the thread or at least the op

They didn't go,to,her 5:children

2 of them stole them , sold them and split the money then kept quiet about it saying one of the, had the, for safe keeping.

OP posts:
SantaBarbaraMonica · 11/09/2023 14:12

I think you need to let go of the thought that it was her life work and she’d be so upset. She clearly got a huge amount of pleasure out of doing it. Nothing will change that and those years of joy she had collecting are in no way changed by what’s happened since she died.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 14:12

LlynTegid · 11/09/2023 13:44

What would you normally do with someone who has stolen something worth say £100k?

Involve the police.

Too much time has passed , it would be classed as civil and since my gran (the victim) is dead the police wouldn't get involved. I know this.

I've just got to find a way of being at peace with it .

OP posts:
fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 14:13

*them had them for safe keeping
I mean

OP posts:
Poontangle · 11/09/2023 14:19

I'm getting distinct shades of Eliza Doolittle.

What become of her new straw that that should have come to me?

OP, do you think they Done Her In?

Hobnobswantshernameback · 11/09/2023 14:20

Sounds like you have a better understanding of legal matters than I do
Still wonder maybe a chat with a lawyer or a policeman off the record might help

FrippEnos · 11/09/2023 14:26

Sorry OP

I did have to go back a re-read your OP to find that it was one of the people that took the collection that claimed they had it for safe keeping.

The horrible truth is that death often brings out the worst in some people and they just go in and trash the place taking what they want.

It is a very dark side of human nature.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 14:26

Poontangle · 11/09/2023 14:19

I'm getting distinct shades of Eliza Doolittle.

What become of her new straw that that should have come to me?

OP, do you think they Done Her In?

Please go,away. This has upset me an incredible amount because to me those stamps were part of my Nan Not a new bmw or 100k in the bank.

As my na s youngest I was there later than her other children so I did a lot like when my grandad had a stroke I filled in all the forms for help and carers allowance, I arranged the social care

I did this because I loved them and because I was the youngest I lost them when I was young (I was 30 , lost my "sister" and 4 weeks later my Nan.

I cannot bear to think that they stole and lied to cover up and just took the money between them and said nothing to the other siblings

It's absolutely beyond me. I could never be so cruel and callous and money grabbing bastards .

I hate my mother anyway , and now I've another reason to .

OP posts:
User562377 · 11/09/2023 14:29

There one book of first day covers so I might pick a coupe of those pages and get the, framed as she wrote the address (to herself) in beautiful calligraphy

You should definitely do that. I know it's a poor substitute for her whole lovely collection but I hope it will make you smile when you see it.

And I'm sorry for all the shitty comments on here. You and your nan don't deserve those.

User562377 · 11/09/2023 14:33

I've just got to find a way of being at peace with it

I guess you do. But it's hard.

Knowing someone has wrongly taken something so precious, sold it like it was nothing and divided up the money unfairly between them is a really low thing to do.

They're awful people. And it sounds like you nan probably knew it too, deep down.

She also knew that you're a good person and she loved you x

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 14:40

Thanks (user* it would definitely make me smile I'm going to do it

I've no idea why there are people who need to comment just to really get the boot in where it hurts but it seems you don't even have to be posting on the aibu section anymore to get those responses.

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 11/09/2023 14:44

If they were claiming benefits whilst also having a £200k asset that may be an issue so I'd avoid raising it legally.

A counsellor May be the best bet.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 14:52

burnoutbabe · 11/09/2023 14:44

If they were claiming benefits whilst also having a £200k asset that may be an issue so I'd avoid raising it legally.

A counsellor May be the best bet.

It was just carers allowance or one of the ones that isn't means tested and I doubt very much my Nan actually knew the monetary value of her stamps , bloody hell they were piss poor all their lives , it was never about the money for her . That collection started as nothing when she was a little,girl and it was just her stamp collection.

I think. She'd have been pleased as punch to know something she made of it would have been worth something . She'd never have sold it though. It was her little treasure . I'd go,back and she'd be sat in her corner with her specs down her nose picking up sta,ps with tweezers and cataloging them with her Stanley gibbons which she treated herself to,every year .FlowersWink

OP posts:
MrsKeats · 11/09/2023 14:58

People are dreadful.
Someone I know had a house basically stolen off them by unscrupulous family members.

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 11/09/2023 15:07

Jackydaytona · 11/09/2023 08:34

A lesson to be learned : make a will

The albums were stolen the day after she died. Not sure whether having a will or not would have made any difference to them being whisked smartly out of the house, never to be seen again.

My grandad died when we were on holiday, and when we got back home, my dad found his will, leaving everything to him. Funnily enough though, all grandad's valuables and his late wife's (my grandma's) jewellery had disappeared from the house. My dad guessed his step-brother & his wife had been in and taken them, but there was no proof. The step-brother had registered the death and done all the paperwork, despite only being my grandad's stepson and not his blood relative. Dad reckoned that he'd found the will, seen that my dad was the sole beneficiary, and so decided to take what he wanted while we were on holiday.

Zebedee999 · 11/09/2023 15:13

OP this has literally bought a tear to my eye. I had my grandma's jewellery stolen by someone close to me but no evidence etc. I can appreciate the stamp collection was your gran's life's work and you appreciated it for that as you were close to her; the thieves who took it only cared about what £ they could get for it.
I don't believe you have any recourse in any way. All you can do is accept it and move on. If you are like me, then it will stay with your forever eating await due to the injustice but don't let it over power you, try to put it at the back of your mind and only occasionally think about it.

The only thing I can suggest is that document the material you still have and try an dfind out who they better albums were sold to, try and get photographs of those albums so that you at least have a document that documents your gran's life and collection albeit only photos and not originals.

jenbj · 11/09/2023 16:06

Zebedee999 · 11/09/2023 15:13

OP this has literally bought a tear to my eye. I had my grandma's jewellery stolen by someone close to me but no evidence etc. I can appreciate the stamp collection was your gran's life's work and you appreciated it for that as you were close to her; the thieves who took it only cared about what £ they could get for it.
I don't believe you have any recourse in any way. All you can do is accept it and move on. If you are like me, then it will stay with your forever eating await due to the injustice but don't let it over power you, try to put it at the back of your mind and only occasionally think about it.

The only thing I can suggest is that document the material you still have and try an dfind out who they better albums were sold to, try and get photographs of those albums so that you at least have a document that documents your gran's life and collection albeit only photos and not originals.

I agree with this OP. I am in a similar situation and you have to learn to live with it. It will eat away at you if you are not careful. Focus on the love you shared with your grandma and the memories you have of how much enjoyment the stamps gave her.

UsefulSmartPrettyHappy · 11/09/2023 17:06

Sorry this happened to you, op.

nettie434 · 11/09/2023 17:17

Jackydaytona · 11/09/2023 08:34

A lesson to be learned : make a will

It's not always as simple as that. It is not uncommon for dishonest relatives to take things away before the person dies - especially if they are in hospital or a care home - and for executors to take things before the will is 'proved'. There was even a thread the other day about people with lasting power of attorney taking money from a person's assets. Obviously, it's always better to make a will but that doesn't mean unscrupulous prople won't try to get everything for themselves.

@fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft I am so sorry this happened to you. It must be so upsetting. It's easy for me to write this as I am not directly affected, but your grandmother was clearly a wonderful person and I hope the stock books help keep her memory alive.

Zebedee55 · 11/09/2023 17:49

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 09:06

She had clear instructions written down but no will

Unless it was signed and witnessed, it's irrelevant legally.

Where there's a death - relatives suddenly rock up. Always best to make a will.