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Relatives have destroyed/stolen my grandmas stamp collection worth thousands

110 replies

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:28

I'm just posting this as if I don't get this out somewhere and come to ter,s with it I'm going to get ill with the injustice and frustration

Basically my beloved grandma brought me up as one of her own which made an uncle very jealous.

I've also been nc with my mother for over 20 years as she is a spiteful, mean woman with no maternal bone in her body
I have a younger brother who is an addict , now 41, toothless, straggly long hair, wears women's clothing and publicly identified himself on fb as a drug dealer who I'm also nc with

My Nan was a stamp collector from being around 12 years old . Her collection was impressive and carefully cataloged into expensive albums in three categories, new world, Asia and Europe.

By the time she died in 2004 the collection was huge and rare, and worth around 200,000 k

The day after she died my aunt, who is basically like my sister , caught my mother and her brother loading the stamp albums into their cars
She asked what was going on and my mother said we're getting them valued and selling them. My aunt tried to stop them and ,y mother hit her. Finished taking the albums (there were around 150) and drove away

Up until then my aunt had stayed in contact with my mums brother (her step brother) and he backpedaled saying the. COllection was at his for safe keeping . He died a couple of weeks ago so my aunt and her brother (my other uncle who I was brought up with ) asked if ,y cousin (mean uncles dd) could use me as a go between and could she take the collection to me .

Well
She turned up yesterday at my house , we had a lovely catch up and went for lunch. She then said let's empty the albums from the car

What she brought is my nans 'stock books" , basically tatty a4 ring indeed with scraps in. Not a single proper album. I asked her where the actual albums were and she said as far as she knew this was the collection! I said no it isn't , these are her working stock books , and explained there were approx 150 pristine Stanley gibbons albums with entire collections in, and they were categorised into 3 sections, new world, Europe and Asia

She said she didn't know anything about them and that's all she had found at her dad's address

I have cried and cried , not because of the value , but because that was her life's work, her pride and joy , and they've gone and destroyed it, carved it up and sold it.

Oisin turned up in a brand new expensive car, said oh yes dad had 100k just in cash , and he's obviously left her his house too

That cash , that cash I suspect is my nans stamp collection. She had clear instructions for who got what but no will .

It's not the money, it's the way they've piled in like vultures and torn her life's work apart for their own gain and not even considered me, ,y aunt or uncle who were also her children.

My mother hadn't even seen my Nan since the 1980s .

I'm eaten up inside . I'm sat looking at these tatty stock books , and yes her hand writing is in them so I'll keep them although there's 40 stock books and where the hell I'll store them I don't know . Attic probably.

I'm just so sad . Her beautiful stamps are gone .

OP posts:
GoryBory · 11/09/2023 10:55

This makes me so sad.

Some people are like vultures and when someone dies they don’t care out sentimental things, they just want as much money as they can get.
It’s so disrespectful to her.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 10:56

WhateverMate · 11/09/2023 10:52

You thought she'd left £200,000 worth of stamps in the car and you both just went off to lunch?

No she picked me up and we went for lunch then came to mine to unload them .
what is wrong with people here lately ?

They were in the boot and hidden from view . We went to a tiny village cafe .

We
Spent £24 eqch . She is. Ole and I had wine but she had a side order of rosemary potatoes so we went halves . This was at just gone 1 o clock m
I wore crop
Jeans and a t shirt and had my hair in a bun
She had a blue dress on .

What else would you like to know ?

I am upset as I feel something my man held precious to her was so disrespected

We all thought the albums were in tact . And this was the right time to ask for them to be returned.

OP posts:
RagesOnForAges · 11/09/2023 10:59

@fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft I totally get the hurt and anger you are feeling.
Knowing there was/is fuck all you can do about it compounds the issue for me.
I find allowing myself to be with the feelings for a time limit (say 10 minutes, set a timer) then get on with my day helpful. The frequency with which I need to do this is lessening.
Sorry for your losses 🌺

longwayoff · 11/09/2023 10:59

Look at your descriptions of your relatives. They are obviously devious, greedy and untrustworthy. Expect nothing but trouble from them and just make sure your own affairs are in order or the vultures will return and strip anything they can find.

burnoutbabe · 11/09/2023 11:00

if they were included in the probate value on nans death and declared, then maybe you/whoever should have got the money, could have gone after them now and said they are not part of uncles estate and value needs to be returned to the other aunts/uncles.

but as it was ignored then, and nans probate done incorrectly, someone potentially committing fraud (whover signed the documents saying value of the estate) then not much can be done now.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 11:01

Fancylike · 11/09/2023 10:27

You can say the stamps are very special to you, but the fact is that you haven’t looked at them for almost two decades. It’s a plus that you’ve even been given the remaining books.

In all kindness, this wasn’t your inheritance and you need to let this recent fixation go.

I couldn't look at them because the uncle who took them hated me

He hated the fact my nan treated me differently and yes she spoilt me . I remember him screaming at my nan saying I was spoilt and she shouted "yes she is ! Shes spoilt with love! " because they had no money and no
Material wealth . They worked for themselves. She was a tailor so had a sewing room and made clothes for her ladies as she called them for minimal money - we had food on the table and I was happy.

OP posts:
ICanBuyMyOwnBooks · 11/09/2023 11:01

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's a shame your aunt didn't call the police when your DM assaulted her. It might have put a halt to it all.

I had an older friend who collected stamps. I worked in an international head office so used to collect all the rare stamps that came in and give them to him. He was so knowledgeable about his collection and wanted to leave his books to his GDD. He also took a lot of pleasure from putting his collection together. Your nan will have had that joy too. So although it's heart-breaking that her collection is broken up (if it definitely is because it seems you're assuming so but it may still be somewhere in someone's house) perhaps you can take some comfort from the joy your Nan had putting it together, and talking to you about it. Don't let the awful actions of your relatives sour those precious memories Flowers

WhateverMate · 11/09/2023 11:06

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 10:56

No she picked me up and we went for lunch then came to mine to unload them .
what is wrong with people here lately ?

They were in the boot and hidden from view . We went to a tiny village cafe .

We
Spent £24 eqch . She is. Ole and I had wine but she had a side order of rosemary potatoes so we went halves . This was at just gone 1 o clock m
I wore crop
Jeans and a t shirt and had my hair in a bun
She had a blue dress on .

What else would you like to know ?

I am upset as I feel something my man held precious to her was so disrespected

We all thought the albums were in tact . And this was the right time to ask for them to be returned.

what is wrong with people here lately ?

To be fair, your posts can be quite hard to follow what with missing letters/typos etc.

Not being a dick, just pointing out that you're bound to get others asking you to clarify a couple of things here and there too.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 11/09/2023 11:06

I'm so so sorry.

Something very similar happened when my grandad, and then his partner of many years died. That was over 20 years ago, and the person that did this (and like you, not even that bothered about the financial values just the sentimentals!) is still probably the only person I actually hate. She was a fucking witch.

Flowers

I really can't suggest anything other than what you have done, which is cry a lot. Someone had the nice idea of finding a page with your nan's handwriting on it and framing it. I think that's a lovely idea.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 11:10

I'm sorry my phone is awful to type on and it is complex

OP posts:
BorgQueen · 11/09/2023 11:17

I’m sorry but if she didn’t make a will, she couldn’t have been that bothered what happened after she died.
Who is going to be the executor of the estate?
Is there a house involved as well?

MariePaperRoses · 11/09/2023 11:25

Not the same in monetary value but after my maternal grandmother died, (my grandfather had already died), one of my uncles had a bonfire in her garden and burnt all their photographs.

They were very well travelled and he didn't think anyone would be interested in their many albums and boxes of photographs and slides and he burnt them along with all of their paperwork's which was no longer needed.

It really upset me but the mindset of my uncles, aunts and my mother was not to be sentimental and they hadn't wanted any of the photographs so they were fine about them being destroyed/

As a young child I was fascinated by the photographs, some of older relatives taken during Victorian and Edwardian times that my grandparents had inherited.

I loved my grandparents photos of their childhoods as they were born in the 1910's and then their own photos of when they were married and all of their international travel photos.

I would have loved them and I felt a tremendous sense of loss which was tied in with mourning my grandparents.

It felt like destroying g their photos was erasing their lives.

Of course, thirty five years later I don't feel so bad and in todays modern times the photos could have been scanned and saved that way.

I feel your loss, op. It's sad and frustrating.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 11:28

BorgQueen · 11/09/2023 11:17

I’m sorry but if she didn’t make a will, she couldn’t have been that bothered what happened after she died.
Who is going to be the executor of the estate?
Is there a house involved as well?

No house no she rented and in those days the tenancy was passed down the family so that house has been rented to my grandfathers grandparents through the generations

The only thing she has was the stamps .

OP posts:
Pipsquiggle · 11/09/2023 11:44

I am not sure what you want from this thread OP?

From what you are saying, nearly 20 years ago, 2 low life relatives took some highly valuable assets after your GM died.

They said they would 'look after' them.
Genuinely what did you and your aunt think they would do? They acted like they have always done, like complete scum bags.

This happened to my MIL when her DF died. A shitty relative took all the family silver and paintings (worth thousands), said he would look after them, then low and behold, when he died, they were nowhere to be found.

If something is taken, you need to get it back ASAP not just hope 20 years later that shitty people will act in good faith.

I am very sorry but not sure what you can do.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 12:03

This thread is just cathartic really for me to get what's in my head out of my head I know there's nothing I can do

OP posts:
fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 12:08

There one book of first day covers so I might pick a coupe of those pages and get the, framed as she wrote the address (to herself) in beautiful calligraphy

That's a good idea . They've sold the other 6 books of first day covers too

They've left the English ones as I assume they had little value in the sale room.

OP posts:
milveycrohn · 11/09/2023 12:48

If your GM wanted the stamp collection to go to a specific person, then she should have made a will.
Lots of people (such as my DH), seem to think that you should only make a will, when you get old, and if you do not expect to die, then no need, etc.
The truth is, that we can all die at any age, and a having will solves many problems. (although I agree that a will can and possibly should) be updated after many years.)
There is no need to have an expensive solictor to make a will, though it is advisable.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 13:05

milveycrohn · 11/09/2023 12:48

If your GM wanted the stamp collection to go to a specific person, then she should have made a will.
Lots of people (such as my DH), seem to think that you should only make a will, when you get old, and if you do not expect to die, then no need, etc.
The truth is, that we can all die at any age, and a having will solves many problems. (although I agree that a will can and possibly should) be updated after many years.)
There is no need to have an expensive solictor to make a will, though it is advisable.

My Nan was just of a generation who did t think about wills

I think she just trusted that her wishes would be honoured. I'm not even Sure she knew the value of the stamps , it was her hobby and life long love , she was so enthusiastic about it and it gave her great joy . That collection was her pride and joy ,

OP posts:
Royanne · 11/09/2023 13:12

People gave literally been making wills for centuries

Hobnobswantshernameback · 11/09/2023 13:21

Maybe pour a large glass of something and raise a glass to your grandmother's memory
that might help

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 13:25

Neither my grandad or gran had a will and what am I meant to do now about that?

I've just told uncle to make a will and he said nah just chuck me in a box and chuck me on the bbq I said seriously, make a bloody will and he said well I won't be bothered I won't be here

Some people just avoid it .

I just really think it never even entered my nans head . One of my. Hildren was diagnosed with Asperger's and I'm sure my uncle has it, my nans obsessive collecting , among other things she did repetitively really has me wondering if she was on the spectrum too because she really had very little awareness of anything happening outside the house . She didn't recognise herself in photos, she was kind and amazingly talented , her skills as a tailor blew my mind.

But awareness wasnt her strong point and she always saw the good in people, and I think that's why I loved her so much and what made her special .

OP posts:
MariePaperRoses · 11/09/2023 13:30

'That collection was her pride and joy.'

You've hit the nail on the head. In her lifetime she got immense pleasure from collecting the stamps and placing them in books and looking at them.

If you'd inherited all of them maybe you would have had the same enjoyment (and the room for them) but then there would have come a time when you would have had to leave them to someone and it's likely that person wouldn't have the same love for them and would sell the collection, probably in parts.

Bitterness can eat a whole in your heart and mind so if you can turn your mind away from your unpleasant relatives and relive the lovely memories of your grandmother and her stamp collection and the fact that her preserving them has meant they are now in the hands of a collector or collectors who also have the same enjoyment as she did.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 13:32

Thanks for remind me of that marie yes it have her immense pleasure and I'm sure they will be making someone else very happy

OP posts:
fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 13:37

I think what's distressed me also is that my auntie told me last night that my Nan thought some of the valuable ones had gone while she was still alive and had been in hospital previously.

She was convinced some were missing and she would know , she was definitely still had her wits about her

I think everyone said oh don't be silly they'll be here somewhere but she knew

OP posts:
caringcarer · 11/09/2023 13:41

OP your Gran must have loved her stamps. Just try to think the stamps are now also with someone else who will love them. Anyone prepared to pay so much money for stamps must love them like your Gran did. No one can ever take your memories away from you. You have got some pages with your Gran's handwriting on. Get a few of them framed like poster up thread suggested and put them up in your home.

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