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Original poster

Mumsnetters judging your life.

82 replies

ComeWineWithMeAgain · 09/09/2023 19:25

What would they think?
I currently live in a large 3 bedroom terraced with my husband and two children (boy & girl).
We have been married for approximately 20 years.
Both children have regular hobbies such as scouting and riding.
We have one car for the whole family.
We holiday abroad rarely but do usually manage a UK break once a year.
We both work full-time and the kids go to school in another county as it is much better than the local school.
How would I be judged by mumsnet standards?

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 10/09/2023 04:33

I'm just here for the statements of What Mumsnet Thinks 😂 All 8 million of us think identically, except for a few mavericks who feel the need to keep telling everyone how different they are.

You seem to be gloriously typical, OP: "Indeed, Mumsnet's population is said to be culturally and economically privileged, with a female British demographic that is, by the majority, heterosexually partnered, white, well-educated and in employment: a cohort of predominantly established mothers who are aged between 30 and 40 and have an above-average household income" (Pedersen & Smithson, 2013)

Original poster
ComeWineWithMeAgain · 10/09/2023 06:18

GarlicGrace · 10/09/2023 04:33

I'm just here for the statements of What Mumsnet Thinks 😂 All 8 million of us think identically, except for a few mavericks who feel the need to keep telling everyone how different they are.

You seem to be gloriously typical, OP: "Indeed, Mumsnet's population is said to be culturally and economically privileged, with a female British demographic that is, by the majority, heterosexually partnered, white, well-educated and in employment: a cohort of predominantly established mothers who are aged between 30 and 40 and have an above-average household income" (Pedersen & Smithson, 2013)

Most of that is true, education stopped at GCSE level and I definitely do not have an above average household income though.

OP posts:
Zipps · 10/09/2023 06:35

Straight away I'm thinking about your finances. No holiday abroad? I bet you could afford it from your savings which I judge you to have. You'll have pensions too. I think you should live a little more.
Treat yourselves to a city break, a cruise, a horsey holiday, sightseeing, snorkeling, quad biking, whatever!
Show your dc a bit more of the big wide world. Don't save it all for when you have retired. Yolo and a lot of life is mundane if you don't add a bit of excitement.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
howtogetthisright · 10/09/2023 08:06

Things you might have done wrong by MN standards...

A) Had children. Damage to the environment, tsk tsk
B) Decided your DH is quite nice and that many men actually are, instead of choosing to LTB because he snores or chews loudly
C) Drive, not walk everywhere. See point A.

Do you have a toilet brush?

howtogetthisright · 10/09/2023 08:07

I am joking of course 😂

Your lives sound nice and normal and if you're happy, who gives a stuff about what anyone else thinks. 😊

JaiynDough · 10/09/2023 08:17

I'd judge you as bland people who I wouldn't particularly be friends with.

FirstTimeNameChanger · 10/09/2023 08:22

Are you asking people to judge your life based on your children's hobbies and your house/ car? You realise how insecure that seems, right?

FirstTimeNameChanger · 10/09/2023 08:24

What are your core beliefs/ how do you treat others/ what are you passionate about... that is far more important than where your kids go to school.

Thegoodbadandugly · 10/09/2023 08:25

In the nicest possible way why on earth would you be bothered about what a lot of random strangers feel about your life?

Divebar2021 · 10/09/2023 08:26

You didn’t actually tell us anything about what you enjoy or are passionate about so if I had to make a random judgement it’s that you are living vicariously through your children. What are YOU into OP?

KittensandPerverts · 10/09/2023 08:28

Who fucking cares? Pop a square of dark chocolate in your mouth and chill.

whatchagonnado · 10/09/2023 08:35

I think you're what political commentators call 'Middle England'! The average person in the street

blahblahblah1654 · 10/09/2023 08:36

You sound quite bland/meh

dontgobaconmyheart · 10/09/2023 08:40

I don't think you can meaningfully surmise much from that summary to be honest. This is no reflection on you at all and certainly not a negative one OP, but my first thought was - who cares. I know mumsnet, like anywhere, can be judgemental and assumptive but that doesn't mean everyone is interested in/impressed by/not impressed by other people's personal economics. Nobody here knows you and there is no one metric for personal/familial success.

The only thing that did make me smile was the 'large' 3 bedroom house; rather than just a house. Very mumsnet!

7Worfs · 10/09/2023 08:45

Before I judge you I need to know if you eat/feed your children UPF. Grin

I have very strong opinions on the topic and I am judged by fatties people.

pizzaHeart · 10/09/2023 08:52

I think you’s given a very basic info in your initial post which makes you pretty average: marriage, children, house, one car and everything’s sacrificed for DC’s hobbies. It sounds absolutely fine just difficult to sass anything about the situation.
Why riding ?
is it a grammar school?
How your DH gets to work if he is not driving ?
Are you a cat or dog person?

HollieHobbie · 10/09/2023 08:55

Why would I judge your way of life? I'd judge you if you admitted that you regularly shoplifted, stole cars, reported not receiving parcels to get refunds or deliberately caused a scene in a restaurant over a waiter's mistake, but your family and lifestyle is up to you.

I still wouldn't judge you if you said you took hard drugs or drank enough to sink a ship every night. Your life, your choices. I'd probably feel sorry for you and whatever hurt you were trying to hide though!

Each to their own. 🙂

Original poster
ComeWineWithMeAgain · 10/09/2023 09:00

I think a few of you have missed the point! I don't care what people think.
When I read other OPs posts I judge/imagine them to be a certain way. I wanted to know if it was likely that I was anywhere near close....going off the responses I have had it turns out probably not 😆

I don't think I live vicariously through my children, I enjoy plenty of nights out with friends etc although I have never really been one for hobbies as such (I stopped horse riding in my 20's)
I own 2 loo brushes (I feel I have now gone down in mn's estimation!)
There are 6 pets sharing the house with us (and multiple fish, not sure how many are in the tank!)
I spend a lot of time cleaning so it doesn't look like we have 6 pets!
Those that have said I am middle of the road/meh are probably the closest to being right about me!

OP posts:
FatOaf · 10/09/2023 09:04

How would I be judged by mumsnet standards?

They will be appalled by how little environmental damage you're causing. If you're not doing at least two long-haul flights a year to somewhere "common" people don't go, you'd better be driving an SUV that uses twice as much fuel as necessary and takes up two parking spaces. And I do hope you're washing your towels (at 90°C) after every use, and drying them in a tumble drier because it's "common" to hang out laundry.

Your lack of misspellings of simple words and complete absence of "gotten" will also provoke Mumsnetters' ire.

Anyway... Report him! And LTB.

HangingOver · 10/09/2023 09:06

Do you own a loo brush? Do you burn your bedsheets after every use?

PetiteNasturtium · 10/09/2023 09:11

Conventional and as a human you are someone who I wouldn’t hang out with purely because you do wonder what other people think.

Resilience · 10/09/2023 09:15

There's a fine line between recognising that by-and-large most people fall in to one of various lifestyles categories but at the same time everyone is unique with their own story.

Ladybug14 · 10/09/2023 09:30

""I sometimes spend ages wondering about posters based on a snapshot I read on here and I thought it would be interesting to see if people can form a close idea of me as a person based on my post.""

I'd say you need to get out more. Ages thinking about MN?? I rarely think about anyone on MN, although I did worry about the husband who hadn't come home the other day. Turned out he's a twat. What a waste of my time 🙄🤣

TheaBrandt · 10/09/2023 09:33

I only judge people if they negatively affect me otherwise I couldn’t give a stuff.

Was on the beach yesterday every family with a barking dog or a repeatedly screeching child disrupting the peace got 10 points deducted in my head and was harshly judged.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/09/2023 09:33

I'd think you were a masochist with a very hard shell to start this thread!