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Original poster

Do children's birthdays need a 'main' present?

91 replies

bapplebanana · 08/09/2023 06:01

My DS turns 6 soon, and we've bought him a few books, at atlas game, some new Lego, uno extreme, a board game, slime ingredients, a new night light and cuddly, some hot wheels cars - my dh asked me, 'but what's his main present?'. A friend also asked me 'what's his big present, though?'

Have I been stingey, do you do a main, more expensive, bigger present as well? Thanks

OP posts:
PortalooSunset · 08/09/2023 22:11

No, and ours would have got less than half what your dc has!
They're late teens now and all about cold hard cash sadly.

seven201 · 08/09/2023 22:14

My DD is 7 and has I don't think ever had a main present at birthdays or Christmas. Different if they ask for something big, then there'd be less small ones.

Icycloud · 08/09/2023 22:14

You don’t need a big present it’s fine but it can be nice

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Mumtobabyhavoc · 08/09/2023 22:22

Eight different presents aren't enough? 🤦‍♀️

Loopylooni · 08/09/2023 22:22

Mine are similar ages and I do what you do but I tend to go second hand and get everything! Their dad prefers to get one great gift but I think children get bored so easily anyway.

ilovetea14 · 08/09/2023 22:26

Every year it's different sometimes they ask for something and sometimes I buy a few bits I know they will love.

It's my dd's birthday next month she will be 8
she keeps asking for an axolotl pet so we have got her one her uncle is minding it till her birthday. I can't wait to see her face 😁. I've also bought a few bits to open
axolotl fluffie stuffiez teddy,
axolotl sketch book
Pasco pens
Roblox adopt me toys
Happy birthday dog squishy

EwwSprouts · 08/09/2023 22:27

No big present needed. I remember one Christmas about that age the only thing DS wanted was a Disney Christmas book. If it was a big present like a bike then only a couple of other small bits to open.

Tiredmum100 · 08/09/2023 22:29

My sons birthday is next month. I've just got him "bits". He's just asked for pringles and some sweets, so I'm sure he'll be happy.

EatYourVegetables · 08/09/2023 22:43

Good to see consumerism is alive and well.

Mindovermatter247 · 08/09/2023 22:44

Sometimes I do but it all depends what they’ve asked for. This year dd10 hasn’t really got a main present has she’s given me a whole list of stuff she would like, I’ve tried to get a bit of every category. The most expensive which she hasn’t asked for is a ticket to Harry Potter Warner brother studio. I’ve got her a few clothes, some specific shoes she asked for, Lego, some mini brands and Ty beanie boos (she’s an avid collector) she’s grateful for any thing so it doesn’t matter what I buy her.. she asked for Ben and jerrys and Fanta fruit twist on her list aswell but we usually have them in the house so didn’t bother.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 08/09/2023 22:50

I think what you’ve got sounds lovely!

As mine have gotten older there’s usually a main present as that’s what they’ve asked for but when they were younger it was more like what you’ve got, a lovely assortment.

Last Christmas my DS13 got a main present and some bits, but one of the ‘bits’ was a small lego set that he’d been trying to track down for months. I managed to find it and made sure it was the last gift he opened. He lost his damn mind 😂 I have it on video, best reaction ever!

So I definitely don’t think they need a main present, just things that you know they’ll love.

EarthSight · 08/09/2023 22:50

bapplebanana · 08/09/2023 06:01

My DS turns 6 soon, and we've bought him a few books, at atlas game, some new Lego, uno extreme, a board game, slime ingredients, a new night light and cuddly, some hot wheels cars - my dh asked me, 'but what's his main present?'. A friend also asked me 'what's his big present, though?'

Have I been stingey, do you do a main, more expensive, bigger present as well? Thanks

Nothing wrong with those presents.

Rockmehardplace · 08/09/2023 22:52

It’s one gift here for birthdays, and maybe something he ‘needs’, like new clothes, and a day out. It’s not Christmas. It’s more about having a special day together.

Multipleexclamationmarks · 08/09/2023 22:53

Mine are older now but have had the choice since they were around 7 of either
a main more expensive present.
A party.
An experience eg theatre/concert tickets.
A weekend away as a family somewhere they chose.
Cash, £100-150 (now they're older)
We always get 4 or 5 small inexpensive gifts to unwrap on the day.

Daughter usually choses theatre tickets, son likes a weekend in a caravan 🤣

Charlize43 · 08/09/2023 22:56

Is there also deeds to a buy-to-let flat in his name?

wingingit1987 · 08/09/2023 23:20

My daughter’s birthday is tomorrow and she doesn’t have a “main” present. Her most expensive one is a £30 Little Mermaid doll. The other things she’s getting are things like Barbies, a Disney make up set, art sets, pyjamas etc.

There weren’t any big things she needed or wanted. She already has things like a bike. Conversely, her older brother had his birthday earlier in the week and got a bedroom TV as his main gift.

ChewbaccasMrs · 08/09/2023 23:25

That's lots of presents OP don't worry and like a PP mentioned a big main present is something you'll no doubt find you'll be buying as your son gets older.

We have 5DC and once they were older a main present would be a new phone or an iPad or a games console or a camera things like that.

TallerThanAverage · 08/09/2023 23:32

A soft play party, a few books, at atlas game, some new Lego, uno extreme, a board game, slime ingredients, a new night light and cuddly, some hot wheels cars. Blimey, mine either had a party or a present.

LlynTegid · 09/09/2023 07:53

No need for a main present, no need for as many as you describe.

Sprogonthetyne · 09/09/2023 08:04

We do a main present, but with fewer/ smaller other bits. I wouldn't buy a big gift on top of what you've already got.

Justaredherring · 09/09/2023 08:21

Honestly OP he’ll get so much stuff at the party too. He’s got plenty of gifts. No need for something extra for the sake of it

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 09/09/2023 11:18

My two get a selection of smaller presents (books, toy cars, etc.) and then a main present for birthdays and Christmas. That main present isn’t always the most expensive but the one I think they’ll love the most or they’ve asked for (DD1 mainly). DD1 got a camera that prints the pictures last year which she loved but wasn’t that expensive. DD2 is getting an Amazon kids tablet for her birthday in a couple of weeks (so she stops stealing DD1’s). I waited for that to be on an Amazon sale so I paid a lot less than usual. I’ve done tickets for things too like a Musical or a day out. That main present is usually wrapped up and put in a gift bag so it stands out. It’s what I had as a child and loved the build up to my ‘main‘ present.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 09/09/2023 11:36

It's no hard and fast rule for us but we do tend towards a larger present at Xmas and smaller at bday?

FTB2023 · 09/09/2023 12:07

I'm interested that lots of people say bigger items at Christmas than birthdays.
In my family it's always been the other way round. Partly to spread the cost and partly because Christmas has lots of other treats associated with it so big presents weren't the main feature.
Family differences / cultures are fascinating and one of the reasons I love MN because you get an insight into many more families than irl!

Baba197 · 09/09/2023 12:15

Not stingy at all!! You could say his party is his “main” present as it’s the most expensive part. It’s also good for them to start to appreciate that parties need paying for and are part of what you spend on the birthday. I buy several small things, for my son it’s the opening that he enjoys the most so some will be fairly cheap- favourite chocolate etc

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