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Original poster

Do children's birthdays need a 'main' present?

91 replies

bapplebanana · 08/09/2023 06:01

My DS turns 6 soon, and we've bought him a few books, at atlas game, some new Lego, uno extreme, a board game, slime ingredients, a new night light and cuddly, some hot wheels cars - my dh asked me, 'but what's his main present?'. A friend also asked me 'what's his big present, though?'

Have I been stingey, do you do a main, more expensive, bigger present as well? Thanks

OP posts:
midgemadgemodge · 08/09/2023 07:47

Usually have a maximum budget in mind and whatever would make the child happiest

Slime will wow

toddlermom99 · 08/09/2023 07:50

I do a 'main present' yes like a kitchen set, a bike etc. but that's only because it was things I wanted to get anyway. I wouldn't go out of my way to specifically buy a big and more expensive for the sake of it if you've already got him everything you wanted to get him Smile

I probably won't do a main present this Christmas

BackToOklahoma · 08/09/2023 07:50

We’ve always just bought the things they wanted and things we knew they would like. Sometimes there was a main bigger present, other times not.

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ProudCloud · 08/09/2023 08:00

Obviously it depends what the DC ask for but we usually give one big present for birthdays and maybe a box of chocolates or something new to wear.

reluctantbrit · 08/09/2023 09:25

Why do they need one? We always go by DD's wishlist, no need to think of something just for the sake of it.

Some years there was a big present, phone, tablet, bike, playmobil castle. Other years she asked for 10 small things and had everything she would need.

With no big family and the grandparents giving one present each she gets the majority from us.

I personally don't count a party as a present.

Original poster
bapplebanana · 08/09/2023 17:53

Thanks for the replies. There was no wish list this year, just a game for his switch that he asked grandparents for, so have been trying to come up with some nice gift ideas and will leave it as it is now :)

OP posts:
llamadrama16 · 08/09/2023 19:25

We do a main present if they need a new bike or something, but otherwise it's just a new Lego set, a nice book and maybe one other thing.

Although we other do sometimes do theatre tickets/Big Days Out for gifts too. DD is Tudor obsessed at the moment so she will get a Royal Palaces pass so we can do Hampton Court and the Tower.

Some friends would think nothing of a new £££ frog bike (for eg) for their birthday, some friends are limited to a £40 Lego set. As always, YMMV 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sjh15 · 08/09/2023 19:25

my child is still tiny but if I don’t think I’ve done enough then I put a little into his savings account. Children don’t need a lot and what you’ve got is plenty x

Pollydarling · 08/09/2023 20:04

At that age they have no idea of the cost of a main present. A main present to them is something that they would really like or had specifically asked for regardless of value. Mine were always super happy with play doh and their favourite sweets. My then 4 yo thought his tube of bbq pringles from Nanna was the greatest gift ever and the scooter we bought was neglected and questioned because he hadn't asked for one.

Blanketpolicy · 08/09/2023 20:10

Everyone is different, we splurged at Christmas and were purposely more low key for birthdays and always spent <£100 on one or two gifts max.

We also told him if he wanted a birthday party that would be part of his present. Which he was fine with, he preferred being with friends than "things".

reluctantbrit · 08/09/2023 20:44

llamadrama16 · 08/09/2023 19:25

We do a main present if they need a new bike or something, but otherwise it's just a new Lego set, a nice book and maybe one other thing.

Although we other do sometimes do theatre tickets/Big Days Out for gifts too. DD is Tudor obsessed at the moment so she will get a Royal Palaces pass so we can do Hampton Court and the Tower.

Some friends would think nothing of a new £££ frog bike (for eg) for their birthday, some friends are limited to a £40 Lego set. As always, YMMV 🤷🏻‍♀️

How old is your DD? Hever Castle is definitely worth as well, DD got a private tour for her birthday and it was great.

Southwark Cathedral often do historian talks but that's more for 14+ I think.

Kazzybingbong · 08/09/2023 20:57

We always do a main present and lots of other ones. For my daughter’s 7th this year, she got a Switch (this was from grandparents too) and then similar to your boy, Lego, slime squishmallows etc. It’s how my parents did it and if you can afford it, why not? Obviously finances would play a part here but it’s really just what you’re happy with!

Katy123456 · 08/09/2023 21:16

No doesn't need a main present - sometimes mine gets one sometimes not depends what they want/need

KAT0779 · 08/09/2023 21:27

I’ve felt like this “oh shouldn’t she have a main big present” but unless she needs a new bike/scooter/tablet then I think it’s not necessary at all, especially if they are having a party which can be a big expense plus the presents they get from other people.

Blueblell · 08/09/2023 21:37

At that age the Lego is the main - whatever Lego set you got him it probably wasn’t cheap

SamAndEIIa · 08/09/2023 21:39

This is exactly what we do.

We set a birthday budget and we stick to it. The budget is variable depending on the kids age/our financial position.

This year our eldest has asked for a hamster for her main present (it’s a no from us!) and doesn’t want anything else - so we aren’t just going to buy a random big present. She will get a few small bits and then money paid into her “pocket money” account.

FussyPud · 08/09/2023 21:39

Sometimes mine get a bigger present, sometimes a few smaller bits. This year that was:

Eldest: money as they are in their 20s and didn’t need anything, they put it toward getting some storage for their new flat. I also bought sweets because who doesn’t love some of those now and again?

Middle: trip to London for some shenanigans.

Youngest: electric piano

It’s been a pretty expensive year, but not every year has big things like that. One year my middle just wanted the next couple of books in the manga series they’re reading, so we did a stop off at Waterstones, then parked in the local coffee shop for a brew and cake while the books were started.

No birthdays left this year thankfully!

M103 · 08/09/2023 21:44

Seems more than enough to me!

Anna79ishere · 08/09/2023 21:45

This is a lot!!!! They get loads of presents from the party do we Doug buy anything. The party and cake is enough and we don’t need more junk in the house. Things really don’t make kids happy. A nice party, a day out, an evening at the movie or at the museum do.

Mamatolittlemonsters · 08/09/2023 21:47

We always set a budget for what I spend on them for birthdays and christmases.

my eldest (5) is pretty good at deciding what he wants. For his last birthday we went around Smyths and I took pictures of things he could possibly want to ask for. Throughout the year he’ll add stuff to his Amazon list.

my youngest (2) is much harder to get a “main” present for. We have so much of the stuff left from my eldest he likes all the stuff he has

Normally his list works out as something around £50 from us (but it has to be something I’m pretty sure he’ll play with) and then he picks a few things around the £30 mark from grandparents and I just buy him a few bits.

he has no clue about money and is really just asking for what he’d like but that’s the limits I like to set 😂

growing up it was always a big present but depending what it was it was shared with my sister or something we needed at the time

Tabitha2721 · 08/09/2023 21:49

I’d only buy a “main” present if there was something they really wanted. My sons 7 tomorrow and he really wanted a gaming chair (doesn’t game, but likes to rock) so that’s his main present and then got a few things like you’ve listed as well. I usually get my kids a main joint present at Christmas. This year it’s a bigger trampoline but I wouldn’t go out of my way to find something just for the sake of it! X

ActDottie · 08/09/2023 21:56

Nah not unless they specifically asked for something. What you’ve got sounds fine.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 08/09/2023 22:02

People do things differently.
With my youngest one (huge age gap) she had a winter birthday. So we would buy "big ticket" things eg a bike when she needed one. Birthday presents were like yours

Thinkbiglittleone · 08/09/2023 22:07

No, of course not. You get what they will like and appreciate.

Dadfromthesea · 08/09/2023 22:08

I don’t get the thing with oodles of presents. When I was a kid my parents got me one birthday present. It was great! Now we get our kids about ten, and that’s the norm. By the time they’ve unwrapped them all they’ve forgotten what half of them are, and I bet if I took them straight to the charity shop that day the kids wouldn’t even notice that they’d gone. I’d stop this madness immediately if it wasn’t for DW who doesn’t think it mad at all.