How do you deal with low level nastiness towards your child?

[Vilee]

My daughter (age 10) screamed this morning to have her hair a certain way. I did it but she kept going on about making it ‘the exact same as it was on Monday’ it was unlike her as she’s not usually like that about things.

She got home today really upset that it wasn’t ‘right’, when I pushed on it, it turns out the leader of the ‘mean girl’ group had told her on Monday ‘you can be friends with us now because your hair is nicer than before’ then on Tuesday, looked at her hair and told her to forget what she said as it’s ugly again.

Can I point out the only difference was the ponytail was about 1 inch lower.

How can kids be so nasty?

It’s taking everything in me to not go into protective mama bear mode and approach her mum and the school. (I don’t know her mum, if I did, I probably would have said something)

How do you deal with this sort of nastiness and stop yourself being simultaneously devastated and furious about it?

Jeez. Don't approach (and have a good at) another mother because her 10yr old daughter has made one slightly dickish comment about a hairstyle. Don't be that mum.

Instead, your focus should be instilling in your DD that a hairstyle isn't important, and that anyone who chooses/loses friends over the right blow dry, is not someone to seek friendship from. Let alone be trying to appease.

I wouldn’t have had a go at her just for that, but the fact her daughters carried on this sort of nonsense from last year when I’d hoped they’d grow out of it.

obviosuly I’m trying to teach my child to be herself in a world that’s cruel but seeing her excluded from being allowed to have friends because her hair is an inch too low just boils my blood!