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Original poster

How many times have you seen your husband / DP cry?

101 replies

leil · 05/09/2023 21:24

We've been together for 6.5 years now, married 4.5. I've never seen my husband cry even once. He got a little choked up at the birth of our first child, but that's about it. I find it a little weird but I guess he just never cries. I think he is one of those guys who was taught that it's not 'manly' to cry.

How often have you seen your man cry?

OP posts:

TicTacNicNak · 05/09/2023 21:50

For most of our marriage, not often. At the birth of first DC. When his parents died and when our previous two dogs died.

This past year I've seen him cry loads of times. He has a life limiting illness and he gets scared and has a lot of pain which makes him very emotional. In fact he's shown more emotion in the last 12 months than he ever has in 33 (often bad) years of marriage.

MamaMango · 05/09/2023 21:51

3 times in 12 years… once when his Dad had a stroke, once when his ex passed (seeing his children’s pain) and once when we had our rabbit out to sleep… didn’t cry at our wedding or at the births of our babies … but I do still swear to this day his eyes welled up when you saw the dragons flying for the first time in game of thrones 🤣🤣

Itslosenotloose · 05/09/2023 21:53

Quite a few times to be honest. Last time was when our dog died.

PinkRoses1245 · 05/09/2023 21:54

Only when I had a miscarriage

Peskytooth · 05/09/2023 21:57

My husband was crying his eyes out at the end of lord of the rings when we watched it on Saturday. He cries at films a lot and thinks I’m ‘dead inside’ because I don’t 😂

Tintackedsea · 05/09/2023 22:02

He's a massive jessie. He gret on our wedding day in front of everyone! Particularly funny as he's a really big guy who does a very tough manly job. No one expects him to be a softie but he is. I absolutely love how comfortable he is in his own skin. He's never ashamed or embarrassed about his emotions.

riotlady · 05/09/2023 22:04

A few- when we’ve had arguments, talking about his mum (who has passed away) and his childhood. I know he’s cried at a few movies and tv shows but I haven’t actually seen him do it. He’s not a happy crier though, no tears on our wedding day or birth of our kids!

I’ve only seen my dad cry once in my entire life though, after his dad died.

Simonjt · 05/09/2023 22:07

Once, when he was extremely drunk and thought someone has thrown his million pound lottery winning ticket in the bin. He sometimes cries in his dreams if he’s sad, having a rough patch etc, boarding school syndrome.

He has the joys of me crying on a pretty much weekly basis.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 05/09/2023 22:07

Never in 10.5 yrs.Even when his dad died unexpectedly

Nanalisa60 · 05/09/2023 22:11

Never, even when his mum and dad past away. I son and I think it’s a bit weird.

shakeitoffsis · 05/09/2023 22:14

Never.
Death of his father, our wedding day, miscarried, birth of 2 kids. Not a tear!

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 05/09/2023 22:16

Only once, I think. We've been married 20 years and together 23. I'm not a crier either tbh.

Wiccan · 05/09/2023 22:16

Yes all the time all family stuff ups and downs . only have to show him a pic of a puppy and he's off.

ManchesterLu · 05/09/2023 22:17

Loads of times, he's the crier when we're watching films etc. The only times I ever cry are out of frustration when we have an argument - and ONLY when I'm hormonal. Any other time and I can shrug things off. He picks the wrong week and I cry like heck, and then he feels super guilty.

BarrelOfOtters · 05/09/2023 22:20

Loads, films often, music…adverts.

grief.

Wherethewildthymeblows · 05/09/2023 22:21

3 times that I can remember in over 30 years: once when we had a row, but I forget exactly what caused him to cry me being a bitch presumably
once the first time I was in labour - the sight of me in pain was too much for him, and once when our cat died. Actually several times over the cat.

Herecomesdehotstepper · 05/09/2023 22:22

Never in 22 years, not when his best friend died, not when we got married, not when his DM died, not when his DGS was born. I don't understand it.

He says he cries, but I've never seen him, so he's either not telling the truth, or he does it in secret.

Echobelly · 05/09/2023 22:25

Been together 20 years - the first time I saw im cry was a few years in when he had to put down the cat he'd had since he was a teenager.

A few times when he's been between jobs he's got really upset that he was letting me/the family down, and he's cried then, and sometimes when talking about his difficult relationship with his parents. I'd say it's maybe half a dozen times.

SallyWD · 05/09/2023 22:31

I don't think it's 100% socialisation for men not to cry. I think it's actually hormonal too. I remember about ten years ago reading an article by a woman who'd transitioned in to a man. She said the first thing she noticed after taking testosterone was that she no longer cried. As a woman she'd cried frequently and over minor things. As a man, she never cried, even when awful things happened.

SoRainbowRhythms · 05/09/2023 22:33

Three times in 8 years - when we got married, when we got engaged, and through frustration during a falling out with his brother. He's a stoic fella usually!

PlipPlopChoo · 05/09/2023 22:37

Birth of children? No
Death of elderly relatives? No
Wedding day? No

But he loves his track and field and had a couple of tears when KJT won the heptathlon the other week

CharlotteStreetW1 · 05/09/2023 22:43

Maybe a dozen times in 24 years. The weirdest one was at Clapham Junction in our way home from my mum's funeral. He'd only met her once but it was the first time he met the rest of my family and he was obviously overwhelmed as he totally lost it on Platform 15.

He cried when his dad died, when we lost our only pregnancy and when we had our dog and lovely cats put to sleep.

He always cries at Marley & Me and Forrest Gump 🥲

looking4pup · 05/09/2023 22:46

18 years - never. Doesn't get upset about anything.

Brightandshining · 05/09/2023 22:54

Never. Although he has told me a couple of times he cried a bit.. recently at my dad's funeral (who he got on with) but I didn't see it. I believe him tho. I can't see him ever full on sobbing over anything, he's not like that. So I guess if he does cry it's briefly a subtly so I've not managed to ever witness it.
I've known him 14 years.
He's not emotionally closed or anything.. just not very overt about it... you can have a conversation with him about his feelings and he's articulate and insightful. But he just doesn't do big physical expressions of emotion like shouting or crying

budgiegirl · 05/09/2023 22:56

A few times over the last 30 years. When we (briefly) split up as he got cold feet before marriage, when my dad died, when his dad was diagnosed with cancer, at the funerals of our dads. When the dog was poorly and we thought we would lose him.

Not at our wedding, or the birth of our three children, or over any films (although he was once rubbing at his eyes in the cinema, but he blamed it on hayfever!)

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