Has body positivity gone too far?

[EnglishRose1320]

I'm overweight and want to try and change that. Was chatting to a friend about improving my diet, and exercising more (I know I won't lose weight exercising, that's more to help with a healthy life/better mental health). She is also overweight and got really defensive, said I shouldn't do it if it made my mental health worse, we have to look after our mental health first and learn to love the bodies we have and that people like Lizzo are amazing. But are they? Surely we shouldn't judge anyone for the weight they are, but we shouldn't act like being overweight is okay either?

So, you truly believe that most fat people are overweight because they are mentally ill?

YANBU. I think it has gone a bit too far..
Nearly every day there is something on my social media about a size 20 plus woman in a bikini who is "stunning and inspirational". No it's not.
I thought the general aim was to be fit and healthy? Rarely can a person of a size 20 be fit and healthy. I like Lizzo , but I certainly do not aspire to have her body type.
I have a small frame, and would look and feel awful at that size.

I've been everything from a size 6/8 to size 12/14. I know when I was too thin and I know when I felt overweight and sluggish. The middle ground is the best. We shouldn't worry too much about the number on the scales, but there are limits. Everyone has a weight range within which they feel best.

I actually think all the body positive stuff you see/read about doesn't really reflect real life anyway.
It may make you feel better for a time but ultimately most woman don't want to be big.
I don't know a single woman (and I know many) that isn't always on some sort of quest to slim down unless they're slim already (and they're slim because they work at it).
I've never met anyone who regretted and felt worse for losing weight either.

The diet industry, weight loss surgeries, Lipo etc all booming.

I think women generally feel the same about weight as they always have.

Oh dear, why do people engage with such obvious bait. Just walk away and leave OP to talk to themselves. This board really is low effort these days.

Oh dear. Why would someone not want to be healthy? Why are we supposed to celebrate obesity? Do we celebrate cancer, or heart failure, or arthritis?
Feeling a negative emotion because of how you look, such as shame or sadness, is clearly not a great way to live your life. However, the whole ‘body positivity’ movement is a health crisis waiting to happen.
We should have a ‘body honesty’ approach instead. ‘I weigh more than is healthy for me but I’m ok with that’ is being honest.

… and yet here you are…

Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder can lead to being overweight or obese. An ADHD symptom can be overeating. Depression can demotivate a person from getting out and being active. Which can be a vicious cycle as fresh air and exercise can be helpful to mental health and so things spiral. I don't know why it's surprising that weight gain can be a mental health issue.

Yes, it can be? I'm asking if you think that's the case for the majority of overweight people?

No idea! I think there are lots of varying factors which contribute to obesity - it's often correlated with poverty for one thing (also something which is a cause of poor mental health). It's higher in nightshift workers. It's made more likely by some mental health conditions, some physical health issues, some kinds of medication. I know on Mumsnet people would like to announce that all fat people are only that way because they are lazy and greedy and brainwashed by body positivity but it's actually more complex than that. Most overweight people don't want to be overweight, even if Snag Tights put obese models in their adverts and Lizzo gives them validation. Notice the shortage of Ozempic and the booming diet industry - plenty of people very much do want to be slim. Lots of people struggle, for many different reasons.

Notice the shortage of Ozempic and the booming diet industry - plenty of people very much do want to be slim. Lots of people struggle, for many different reasons.

I've said exactly the same upthread. Still, obesity is not classed as a mental health condition where anorexia is.

No, obesity isn't a mental health condition and neither is being underweight. Depression, ADHD, bulimia and binge eating disorder are mental health conditions/neurodivergence though and in some cases can contribute to obesity. Just as other eating disorders are mental health conditions that can lead to being underweight and obviously in the case of anorexia to an extremely dangerous and life-threatening degree. Obesity in itself isn't a mental health condition; I was just saying that there are mental health conditions and severe eating disorders that can cause a person to become overweight or obese.

Yes OP - I understand what you mean and I concur. But there’s never any pleasing people. Back in the day there was an outrage (and still is, reading some of the replies) not all sizes were represented and now it’s almost gone the other way and that’s bad too. Don’t think the fashion industry can ever “win”. They are damned if they don’t and damned if they do.

@blacksax these two things are not mutually exclusive.

I have been very thin, I’m now very (very) fat. I am 100% happier and more confident in my skin now because I realised years ago it only matters what I think about myself- and I don’t think i’m ugly or unattractive.

However, I have recently discovered my blood pressure (which has always been slightly high since I was a teenager- whether I’ve been fat or thin) has gone up to a dangerous level. So I’ve lost some weight and it’s gone down to my normal level. I haven’t started hating myself, decided I’m ugly or become in any way less positive about my body.

If I could have stayed as before diet and size wise and not had the blood pressure issue I definitely would have- not through laziness or apathy but because I enjoyed my diet and lifestyle. People are capable of being happy being fat and also wanting to take care of their health.

I agree it might have gone too far for some using it as an excuse. Of course its brilliant to encourage people who are overweight to not feel ashamed or like they should hide away, but there should be a pressure to be a healthier weight because its a million times better for your body and health. Body positivity reduces bodies to an aesthetic level ie don't we look good (and yes many people who are overweight do indeed look good), when whilst being slim is the societal ideal its important to be a realistic weight for far more than aesthetics.

Bit of both I guess.

On the whole feeling shit about yourself makes it a whole lot harder to loose weight. Plus bring obese does not make you a bad/lazy person, it’s just fat, probably caused by an addictive relationship with food.

But yeah, being very overweight is clearly unhealthy, and it’s best to do something about it. I am unconvinced the body positive movement actually makes anyone happy about being fat though. Those people are rare.

Oh that is bollocks

I completely agree there should be far more mid sized models, but it is a fuck sight harder to be fat. Fat bodies are not celebrated, at all, in the real world. It’s far more acceptable to criticise someone for being fat that mildly tubby.

the problem is terms like ‘glorifying obesity’
is often used a a dog whistle for people living and existing visibly in society as a n overweight/obese person
and some people feel that people who are in that category shouldn’t partake in society or take up space in public at all ,
that is what a lot of BP is pushing against

Anorexia is a metabolic disorder as well as a psychiatric one. Mental health is only half of it.

I’d say it’s very important to be positive about who you are as a person, regardless of what shape or size your body is, whilst also acknowledging that in most cases it’s better for our health and our mental health, to maintain a normal bmi.

Being underweight doesn't always mean someone has anorexia or an eating disorder.

OK. But it is literally defined as a serious mental health condition. Obesity isn't. So why are people so keen to compare people with Anorexia to people who are overweight?

I don't think being overweight is terrible, it's not the same as being very obese.

Are there any body positivity advocates over 40 or 50? I remember watching a program on this a couple years ago and the vocal group were all young. I do wonder how they will feel as they age. My dad has struggled with his weight his whole life, he has needed a double knee replacement since he was late 50s. He might have always been destined to need this, but the doctors have emphatically told him his weight is a major contributor. He's early 60s and can barely walk

There have to be factors, metabolic, mental health related, or otherwise that drive the overconsumption causing obesity despite the frightening effects on health. So seems similar to anorexia to me.

Personally, I don’t think the illness anorexia could/should with being overweight or obese.

It could perhaps be compared to morbid obesity (otherwise known as Class III Obesity, I believe), because both are extreme ends of the weight spectrum?

That’s just my non-medical opinion.