If someone tells you they are allergic to dogs, please stop insisting your dog is hypoallergenic and we should come to your house

[AllergyPlus]

I am allergic to dogs (and cats, but cat people never push the issue). Not to the point of death, but they make me itch all over, I feel my throat constricting and breathing feels uncomfortable and strained, my eyes water, I get a runny nose. It's not the worst thing but it's not pleasant for me, and I just can't be bothered to tolerate it any more. There is no one I like enough who has a pet that makes me want to take an antihistamine.

I have managed to avoid going to people's homes if they have pets, very easily. There are enough pet-free folk to choose for friends that I'm close enough with to want to do house dates with.

So my point is this.

If we are friends, and you have a pet, and I tell you I'm allergic, can you please just drop it. I don't want to go to your home.
I don't believe the hypoallergenic thing, for a start. Maybe some dogs cause less of a reaction than others, but there really is no such thing as an allergy-free dog.
It doesn't matter if you put the dog in another room. It doesn't matter if you vacuum extra well, wash the floors, and open the windows. I of course appreciate being liked enough that you want to invite me over, and go to all that effort, but could people who react like this please just give up. I've told you I don't want to, and I'll accept you saying ONCE "Oh, but Fido is hypoallergenic" or telling me you'll clean better than ever, but if I repeat after this that no, I'm really allergic, can you please just drop it?
I have recently seen an increase in dog-people being really pushy about bringing me to their homes. What's changed?

Yeah I can't say I am that pushy 😂

I feel like people have got more pushy about things in general, not just the dog example here. I find it really hard work at the moment having to repeatedly say no to things. Even with a good explanation of why things aren't possible, people won't drop the subject. I don't know why this is but it's something I've noticed recently.
I've got a "friend" (in inverted commas because if she was truly a friend she would understand) who simply will not accept that I cannot go and visit her in her city at the moment because I have a problem with my eyes and am waiting for an operation. I can't drive and my sight can be very blurred depending on the light. I'm just not in a position to be getting a train half way across the country and staying with someone for a week. After the op I will need about a month before my eyes settle and I've been told my eyes will need time to adjust so not to do anything strenuous and to stay at home and rest as much as possible.
I'm afraid I just "left her on read" on WhatsApp this week when she asked for the 7th time. Everytime I've explained and every time she's come up with various reasons why it won't be a problem for me to come to her city.
I just don't get why people are like that.

The dog thing would piss me off. You've offered alternatives of meeting elsewhere. So they are being unreasonable.
Probably would have to phase them out to be honest. I'll be phasing out the "friend" above as after the way she's been going on about my eye situation I really don't want to go and visit her even after everything has healed

People don't get this and it's really annoying. I've had injections but still need antihistamines around dogs which I will do if I want to visit friends although one friend I can't go in her house even with meds as her dog causes a reaction that is really extreme that lasts days. This is one of the main reasons I get so annoyed with the 'lets bring dogs everywhere ' fad that I now have to take medication with me on days out if I want to go to a pub or cafe. I even went on a museum tour I paid for and had to leave my reaction was so bad to the 2 dogs people brought (and no the website didn't say it was open to dogs)

If that was my bbq I’d send them home but thankfully none of my friends are that rude and most don’t have dogs at all. The hosts who have allowed this are also partly to blame.

I avoid pubs and restaurants with dogs but it’s getting incredibly difficult to do as so many do and you don’t always know unless you call ahead to check or if there’s a dog friendly sign.

I was called “disgusting” in another thread for suggesting all cafes etc should advertise if they’re dog friendly or not so people who don’t want to sit alongside dogs while they eat can know which ones to go to.

There's no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog. The allergy is to dog dander, which is their skin flakes. Nothing to do with fur/moulting. The dog dander rests on furnishings and if you're allergic, even if a dog hasn't been there for months you can still have a reaction to the dog dander resting around.

Ridiculous. Why on earth bring dogs to a museum? This is getting out of hand. I’m sure it’s more enjoyable for dogs to be running around parks etc (which I already avoid due to off leash dogs) but to drag them to museums, restaurants etc is just absurd and unfair all round.

I’d have asked for a refund from the museum. If nothing else it may have pushed them to state clearly on their website if it’s dog friendly or both so people are aware before buying tickets.

Are you allergic to dogs though? If you haven’t had to decline invitations because of allergies, of course you won’t have experienced people trying to convince you to visit regardless. I really don’t mind them saying they’ll deep clean/open windows/put the pet in another room, but if I then still say it’s not doable, that’s when, ime, several people still try and get me to visit. It’s really like they just can’t understand allergies, or they think their dog is so magical it surely can’t affect me.

Definitely so. My son had a really really bad reaction to being in someone’s car. Found out they regularly had their dog in the back.

My dd is allergic to dogs (and even worse to cats and rabbits) but we have a hypoallergenic dog and she is ok with her so long as she takes the daily antihistamine she takes for her allergies to dust and pollen. She isn't ok with other hypoallergenic dogs though as she looks like she has been scalded and her face swells if she goes in other houses that have a dog. Try explaining to people that you are allergic to dogs when you own a dog.

Why do you have cats if 2 in your family are allergic

I had to leave jobs (was a nanny) that has cats

The dander that people are allergic to carries proteins, every dog's is different so you can be highly allergic to one Labrador and fine with another. Not you specifically OP, just in general. No-one is allergic to a specific breed, just specific dogs.

Some breeds have less of an effect on people with dog hair allergies.I have a border terrier which is easier for people with a dog hair allergy to be around because they don't moult. But if it is a dog dander allergy then there is no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog.

They really aren't.

Our dog is a supposedly "hypoallergenic" breed. Our breeder told us that was bollocks, just because a dog doesn't shed doesn't mean they won't trigger a reaction.

No dog is truly hypoallergenic to all people

I definitely react more to certain dogs.
but it's a difference of being able to leave and taking medication or needing an ambulance.

I'm also tired of people telling me about their "hypoallergenic" dogs. Only someone who doesn't suffer with allergies would make that claim. It's not niche as a PP said. I hear it all the time.

I'm allergic to dogs (and cats, amongst many other things). Antihistamines might take the edge off but I'll still need to use an inhaler, nasal spray, eye drops if I'm in a house with a cat or dog, and I still won't feel completely normal.

Sitting on public transport or in pubs next to dogs is a pain. And people bringing dogs into the office and letting them roam free and expecting you to coo over them infuriates me.

Apart from maybe nut allergies, people are generally very dismissive about allergies in my experience.

OP says AHs work well for her but she wants to do life ‘naturally’. She doesn’t want to be with dogs and she doesn’t like the owners enough to take a medication that, for her, doesn’t give side effects.

Don’t want to go to someone’s house, don’t go [shrug].

Because it wouldn’t bother me. Not everyone has to like dogs and some are smelly and unpleasant.

Equally people with children/ partners that have allergies that get a hypoallergenic dog thinking that it will be all fine. Then give said dog up as they're so surprised that their child still had a reaction..
Yes OP you're right- they don't exist and it's surprising that people still believe it.

Equally people with children/ partners that have allergies that get a hypoallergenic dog thinking that it will be all fine.

Hypo doesn't mean no or none. It means low. Hypotension means low blood pressure, not no blood pressure. Hypothermia means low temperature.

So hypoallergenic means a low chance of sparking off an allergy, not no chance.

People can be dismissive and thoughtless about nut allergies too but that's a whole other thread.

Is it really such a bad thing that I don't want to be dosed up on drugs of I can avoid them? Why should I put antihistamines in my system, just to go to someone's house?

They don't work great, anyway. They take the edge off. And I don't like how they make me feel.

I don't want to go, and I don't. My issue is with people containing to cajole me into going, and sounding dismissive of my valid reasons for not wanting to.

Nobody cares either way. Go, don’t go.

Yanbu.

No means no.

The "just take an antihistamine" people don't seem to realise that it will have occurred to the sufferer to take them or that they will probably already be on prescription antihistamines.

DD is extremely allergic to cats. She is on Fexofenadine, and it makes not one iota of difference if she is in contact with a cat.

I'm very allergic to cats and dogs, and taking an antihistamine doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. My eyes itch like crazy if I pat a dog and then touch my face, even after I've washed my hands. I'm also asthmatic and sometimes get shortness of breath, but not always.

Generally I don't tend to tell people who are obsessed with their pets that I'm allergic, as they either don't believe you, or don't care, and act like you're a nuisance.