If someone tells you they are allergic to dogs, please stop insisting your dog is hypoallergenic and we should come to your house

[AllergyPlus]

I am allergic to dogs (and cats, but cat people never push the issue). Not to the point of death, but they make me itch all over, I feel my throat constricting and breathing feels uncomfortable and strained, my eyes water, I get a runny nose. It's not the worst thing but it's not pleasant for me, and I just can't be bothered to tolerate it any more. There is no one I like enough who has a pet that makes me want to take an antihistamine.

I have managed to avoid going to people's homes if they have pets, very easily. There are enough pet-free folk to choose for friends that I'm close enough with to want to do house dates with.

So my point is this.

If we are friends, and you have a pet, and I tell you I'm allergic, can you please just drop it. I don't want to go to your home.
I don't believe the hypoallergenic thing, for a start. Maybe some dogs cause less of a reaction than others, but there really is no such thing as an allergy-free dog.
It doesn't matter if you put the dog in another room. It doesn't matter if you vacuum extra well, wash the floors, and open the windows. I of course appreciate being liked enough that you want to invite me over, and go to all that effort, but could people who react like this please just give up. I've told you I don't want to, and I'll accept you saying ONCE "Oh, but Fido is hypoallergenic" or telling me you'll clean better than ever, but if I repeat after this that no, I'm really allergic, can you please just drop it?
I have recently seen an increase in dog-people being really pushy about bringing me to their homes. What's changed?

There is no one I like enough who has a pet that makes me want to take an antihistamine.

Given that antihistamines don’t have many side effects, the issue is that you don’t like the owners, which makes it odd that they even want to host you!

I went to a soft play the other week and the owner had her Great Dane there with her just roaming around. Not in the soft play area but in reception and outside. We were a bit wary to get out the car as he didn't appear all that friendly at first. I was gobsmacked she was able to bring her massive dog to a soft play, surely her insurance wouldn't cover any incidences and what about the people who are scared and/or allergic! We won't be going back

But we’re not talking about your husband, we’re talking about the OP has implied that antihistamines work for them.

The hypoallergenic thing is stupid and annoying but maybe people are trying to be nice.
my friend is allergic to cats, it’s just a ‘little’ allergic though. If our other friend cleans the house, and keeps the cats out the living room for the a day or so before we visit, and my friend takes an antihistamine then it’s fine. Both of my friends want to see each other and the friend with the cats house is the best option for everyone so everyone is happy to try to do what they can to reduce the allergy sufferers chances of being uncomfortable. If our friend with the cat had just said no worries don’t come over then, that would be a bit unfair, it’s polite to accommodate and reassure people if you can.
alternatively you could say no, but you can come to my house. But clearly you’re not doing that and Maybe they can’t afford to go out.

I like them a lot. I don't like them enough to go on medication for just to go to their house when we can just go anywhere else instead.

They work to an extent, but not fully. And I just don't want to take them any more. Actually, it's been quite a few years since I decided this, but it's only recently that people keep trying to convince me to go to their doggy home. I don't want to take medicine. I want to just eat naturally, live healthier, you know?

I basically got told tough luck when I commented on a recent post about allowing dogs in shops. I'm allergic and have no choice now more and more shops and cafes allowing them in.

Bit of a niche thing to post on the internet. Do you think many people reading this will be those that insist their dog is hypoallergenic? Or did you just want a rant.

I'm allergic to dogs, cats, and horses. Have ended up in hospital due to having massive asthma attacks because of the allergy.
Antihistamines do help in some cases but not all the time.

So I tend to actively meet friends with certain pets away from their homes. (Normally long haired cats, they seem to be the worst for me)

However I once had "friends" who insisted they couldn't leave their dog alone. So anywhere I wanted to meet them they had to bring the dog along. This included when they came to my house. I was told I was utterly unreasonable for telling them I didn't want their dog in my house.

We're not friends any more...

I never knew this was a thing. If I had a 'hypoallergenic' dog I would share that information in case it was something that may help, but I wouldn't push it because ultimately it's your choice? I'm allergic to cats, nothing serious but itchy eyes and uncomfortable. But cats generally stay out of the way so I can manage being in a house with one as long as I have antihistamines, but I can imagine it is different with dogs as they're much more people orientated and owners are less likely to put them away if they are in people's faces; we have a dog and the amount of times we get our friends with kids coming round being astonished that we'll put her out of the room because we're some of the only people willing to do so is ridiculous. A friend's son is nervous around dogs, so our dog gets put in the kitchen or kept on lead up close to me if they have to be in the same area when he's here, it shouldn't be rocket science.

I think people who don't have allergies have a slightly unrealistic understanding of what an antihistamine can achieve. I have quite bad hay fever and my prescription antihistamines have been great at preventing complications, like sinus infections, temporary deafness, needing an inhaler etc but I still feel ill and exhausted. If I could avoid tree pollen and feel normal then I absolutely would (I have a fantasy of spending spring in Iceland or Svalbard, but it's not practical).

If someone cooked for you and you knew that some of the ingredients were off and would cause a couple of days of explosive diarrhoea, would you eat it anyway and just take some imodium so as not to be rude? You'd still feel ill and have diarrhoea but the imodium would reduce the effects. Or would you suggest eating something else or going out to eat? Personally, I would never voluntarily make myself sick in order to do something trivial that someone else wants me to do.

Allergies to animals are also not just triggered by dander and fur - it can be saliva too.

my DS can’t go to a single one of his friends houses as they all have dogs/cats/both. He is allergic to fur, feathers and saliva of animals.

that’s sometimes why non-shedding dogs (or ‘hyperallogenic’ ones) still make people react. tests are commonly done for the fur and dander but not the saliva.

his reaction is an extreme one - if he were to pick up (for example) a soggy dog ball which had been chewed, then touched his face, we’d be using an epi-pen.

i’m fed up of having them everywhere - cafes and restaurants are a nuisance now.

This is an excellent analogy, absolutely spot on.

If we are friends, and you have a pet, and I tell you I'm allergic, can you please just drop it. I don't want to go to your home.

Oddly, I have never had any such conversations, have never needed to have such conversations, and don't know a single person who has. Why would anyone want to insist on you visiting?

Altough I will agree that people really have not understood "hypoallergenic" dogs - it is actually very hard to breed a true hypoallergenic dog, and it is not a science. True ones are as much luck as planning... https://www.thisdogslife.co/why-the-labradoodle-inventor-regrets-his-creation/#:~:text=During%20his%20time%20at%20Guide,to%20become%20hypoallergenic%20guide%20dogs.

🤣🤣🤣 totally agree

from the increasing volume of people who keep telling me I’ll be fine at their house if they do x y z and I take medicine, I think there may well be people on here who could do with understanding the issue, and it’s not just me. I also feel like I benefit from knowing it’s not just be. I consider myself assertive yet people are still pushing me.
i was pushed to post today after a friend I was to meet tonight called to say she wants to meet another friend quickly after work, could I come to her house instead of our original plans, and I’m like, I really don’t mind being pushed back an hour (genuinely. Means a bit more time for me to get ready too.), but for the tenth time, no, I can’t come to your home. Just really bored up of it now.

My BIL and SIL have loads of cats, and I had to ban their kids from playing in Dc bedrooms, as sitting on the bed in cat-contaminated clothing led to a dash to A&E with an asthma attack for my Dc. I put fleece blankets on the sofa before they come and bundle it straight in the wash after.

My dog is a non shedding dog so I'd probably drop that into the conversation first time round if you said you couldn't visit due to allergies. I'd assume you'd know if you would still be allergic or not at that point. Most people at some point have met types of non shedding dogs so would know.

Cats, some I react to, others not. So that's harder. But for me it's not enough not to visit, just enough to avoid sleeping over as it's worse at night. I don't say that's why though.

But why anyone would push meeting up beyond that is odd - can't they afford to eat out or something? Are you offering to host?

An antihistamine is not a magic wand that makes all your symptoms go away. For people with severe allergies, a high dose might just take a slight edge off the worst of it, but that is all.

Anti histamines don’t even touch mine.

I don't go to peoples' houses with dogs. It isn't a problem. Sadly a good friend I used to stay with in Germany has a dog now so I'll have to stump up for a hotel instead, but that's one of those things. I don't know if I am allergic, I don't get close enough to find out.

I am allergic to cats but not badly enough to avoid visits.

And cats are much easier to avoid. There needs to be much more consideration of allergies to dogs in my view.

Am I the only person who would accept that response instantly because I dont want other people in my house anyway?

If someone cooked for you and you knew that some of the ingredients were off and would cause a couple of days of explosive diarrhoea, would you eat it anyway and just take some imodium so as not to be rude? You'd still feel ill and have diarrhoea but the imodium would reduce the effects. Or would you suggest eating something else or going out to eat? Personally, I would never voluntarily make myself sick in order to do something trivial that someone else wants me to do.

I shall borrow this for the next persistent pet owner.

@Abra1t

Given that antihistamines don’t have many side effects, the issue is that you don’t like the owners, which makes it odd that they even want to host you

^^Given that antihistamines trigger my tachycardia which can then last for days, sometimes weeks, badly affecting my health and ability to work, my issue is that I don't like people with attitudes and assumptions like you have.
And why the heck should anyone have to take unnecessary medication just so as not to upset un - thinking/caring people with dogs, who thinks we should all acquiesce to their demands, regardless of how the medication or dog will affect our health.

Even the man who 'invented' the labradoodle regrets what he unleashed.