If someone tells you they are allergic to dogs, please stop insisting your dog is hypoallergenic and we should come to your house

[AllergyPlus]

I am allergic to dogs (and cats, but cat people never push the issue). Not to the point of death, but they make me itch all over, I feel my throat constricting and breathing feels uncomfortable and strained, my eyes water, I get a runny nose. It's not the worst thing but it's not pleasant for me, and I just can't be bothered to tolerate it any more. There is no one I like enough who has a pet that makes me want to take an antihistamine.

I have managed to avoid going to people's homes if they have pets, very easily. There are enough pet-free folk to choose for friends that I'm close enough with to want to do house dates with.

So my point is this.

If we are friends, and you have a pet, and I tell you I'm allergic, can you please just drop it. I don't want to go to your home.
I don't believe the hypoallergenic thing, for a start. Maybe some dogs cause less of a reaction than others, but there really is no such thing as an allergy-free dog.
It doesn't matter if you put the dog in another room. It doesn't matter if you vacuum extra well, wash the floors, and open the windows. I of course appreciate being liked enough that you want to invite me over, and go to all that effort, but could people who react like this please just give up. I've told you I don't want to, and I'll accept you saying ONCE "Oh, but Fido is hypoallergenic" or telling me you'll clean better than ever, but if I repeat after this that no, I'm really allergic, can you please just drop it?
I have recently seen an increase in dog-people being really pushy about bringing me to their homes. What's changed?

For various reasons I have been thinking it might be nice to get a dog in the next few years, but the way many dog owners behave I'm not sure I want to be counted as one of them...what is it with the entitlement and the having to take the dog everywhere and the not-cleaning up poo and not understanding that not everyone is as obsessed as they are?!

I keep seeing dogs and cats in shops now - pets that belong to the owner and lie on the for-sale rugs etc.

I walk straight out.

I am allergic to cats and don't want to buy soft furnishings that an animal has slept on.

Bleugh!

And I agree with you OP - you can clear up the hair as much as you like but it is the proteins from their skin and saliva so unless every fabric surface was shampooed and rinsed there's going to be a reaction.

I do use anti-histamine when going to cat-owners houses though. And clench my teeth at the sheer lack of hygiene demonstrated.

What about someone who has a dog but meets you in a cafe without said dog?

They'll no doubt have dander on them.

Are they allowed to be your friend?

yanbu
similar here

and worse, I react really badly to dog saliva. a dog licking me can get me into hospital. that makes walking in parks interesting.

People don’t get it, or more likely, simply don’t care.
I worked in an Office and people started bringing dogs in, despite knowing I had bad allergies. Not talking sneezing or itching, more bad wheezing. One day I had an asthma attack . I ended up leaving because I didn’t feel safe there.

This. You don't even need context. If people insist on overriding something you're not comfortable with, then they're at best annoying, at worst outright twats.

Yes, definitely. Everyone thinks their dog is so amazing, and magical. Or at the very least, so wonderful that they are worth any level of discomfort.

This is true. I could easily avoid them before. Now they are all over the place.

If you’re allergic to something, you’re allergic and people shouldn’t push.

My dh and dd are allergic to cats. We have a cat, and we just about manage. We have to vacuum every where every day and make sure the cleaning is on top. I wouldn’t let my dd go round someone’s house who had several cats and didn’t keep on top of the cleaning.

I'd rather meet out. I live in a very small apartment, yes people visit, but I'd rather go out. But most of my friends don't have pets. My post was about the handful who do, who regularly try to get me to go to their home, despite my telling them I'm allergic already. It's like they are trying to wear me down. They are!!!

Gosh you've met better cat people than i have "can't you just take antihistamines?"
"I hoover before people come"

Some of my most beloved people have cats so if it were possible I definitely would!

My dh and dd are allergic to cats, and have asthma. It can be triggered by cat hair. Antihistamines do fuck all

They are not your friends and don't understand. X

I think they mean well. They are nice people, really, but just blind to other people's wishes not to have allergic reactions, or they may think their dog really is hypoallergenic or something, and want to prove me wrong. I don't want to lose the friendships, one especially is a long -standing friend who recently moved closer, keeps trying to convince me I'll be fine. It's just exhausting.

That's my point

Dogs who don't shed fur, like poodles for example, generally cause less of an allergic reaction than dogs that shed. But that doesn't mean no allergic reaction.

I think people are confusing lower allergy with no allergy. Hypoallergenic doesn't mean zero allergy, just lower.

I do notice a difference between types of dogs: I am ok with the non-shedding types but not at all with cats or shedding dogs, or horses either.

I think it's less caring though that they don't care about my allergies when I tell them I'm allergic but still go on about pushing for me to visit. I have gone to friends' homes with dogs, but I always feel lousy afterwards, and I decided I'm just done with it. I know myself well enough to know I just don't want to deal with being a bit under the weather for a couple of days, because no matter how well they clean, it doesn't change how poorly I feel. But they seem not to believe me.

I do feel a bit itchy, mild itchy eyes, but tolerable. Being in their home, where the dog lives 24/7, is much much worse. The fogginess is just hanging in the air, and on all the furnishings. It's a build up.

A 'hypoallergenic' dog ("I'm asthmatic and I can bury my face in his coat and be OK") caused my DH to end up on a drip and nebuliser. What a shame he'd never thought of taking an antihistamine!

(For the hard of thinking, they don't make the slightest bit of difference to him, even prescribed ones.)

I have actually avoided careers where dogs were likely to be an issue.
I'm sorry you experienced this.

Wow. How awful. I hope he's recovered well.

Some people just don't understand allergies. They don't understand that, as far as your allergen is concerned, your approach to risk is different to that of a non-allergic person.

I had this with my cousin last week. She was deeply unimpressed that I wouldn't consider getting a cat for my allergic, asthmatic DC. "But you don't understand. They're hypoallergenic. I'm telling you - my friend's neighbour has one". No, you don't understand.

I'm with you OP. Why don't they just drop it??

My son is the similar. He comes up in a rash if one touches him. As such, he avoids dogs and we don't let him get licked by any. It is getting harder to avoid them though. People think he's over-reacting. So annoying.

It was years ago and he seems fine. Though I suppose we may never know the cumulative damage repeated exposures cause.

I'm surprised at the number of people who seem to think people should 'just get over' it and not be so picky.

That's why I started this thread. I don't understand why they keep on keeping on. So a note to people who do this: please quit it.