I cannot parent anymore

[DueyCheatemAndHow]

I'm at my absolute wits end. They are 4 and 2 and the demands, the changing goalposts, the absolute non stop talking, the arguments. I feel dizzy from having to talk so much. The 2 year olds tantrums are horrific. The 4 year old must have ADHD. He does not stop. Ever. Anything that happens requires me. He doesn't do anything and I mean ANYTHING alone. The park this morning ended with me telling them a story then pretending they were golf balls. Then the whole way home of him talking and asking about electric cars.

Nothing goes by without a question or a demand for an explanation, a negotiation, a battle

6 weeks of just me and them and honestly i feel like I've lost my soul.

Those tests are notorious for evap lines so I think negative as no line in the time period. But test again tomorrow / Friday / if period doesn’t arrive.

My three year old sounds similar to your DS. It is exhausting, you have my full solidarity and sympathy. The incessant talking was the one party of parenting I really wasn’t prepared for. Hopefully school helps with your little one and there have been good tips on this thread too.

Brilliant game is timing them running round the park (or garden). Pick a number of laps that will take at least 2 minutes. Time them many times and just zone out

I had one like that. Lots of time outdoors was vital. Invest in good rain gear (the lidl stuff is excellent), and caps with a peak to keep the rain off their face and yours. And get outside in all weathers.

Turn the why questions back on them - “why do you think? What do you think-?” And let them prattle on while you think about other things to stay sane.

We had a digging corner in the garden - lidl do great child size spades, and a wheel barrow and he could spend an hour going back and forward to the tap and sloshing water. A great summer activity was painting the walls with a big paint brush and a bucket of water. And tree climbing if you have nerves of steel. The key for us was big movement.

Check out occupational therapy (OT) videos/blogs for ideas

Swimming and bike riding are great too.

My DSs were similar. I went back to work when ds1 went to school and used the money to pay for nursery/a childminder (used both) for ds2. He was so much happier with other children. And I was happier too.

For holidays, holiday clubs saved my sanity. They would do a six hour day at sports camp and then we would go swimming together to try to wear them out. Then dh would organize games in the garden for them when he got home.

Ds2 did get a diagnosis in the end. Ds1 didn't but coped well with school as long as they kept him busy. He was high achieving too and had endless questions. Fortunately he also loved sports, which helped.

It does get easier, honest. This is the hardest bit before they go to school.

Den building is good too if you have woods nearby . . .

I'm so grateful for everyone's thoughts. I think I feel a bit stuck and dispirited. I wish I could take them to a big field or some woods and say 'go play' but they don't seem to respond to that.

We have 2 days left of the summer holidays. I have given up work so we were on a puppy waiting list since December. She arrived Sunday so I can go out tomorrow morning while DH is here with her, ill suggest the woods (DD then decides she can't walk but I'll try!).

I really do just need a break. From wshding hands, dinner time breakdowns etc. One of them I could cope with, but the combination of the 2 for 6 long weeks is pushing me to my limit.

Oh OP adding a puppy into the mix is going to be a nightmare, life is going to be ten times harder when you are adding a puppy into the mix. Are you sure how you are feeling isn't being exacerbated by the puppy blues?

OP, just sending you my love. I have a 7 almost 8 yo and a 3 month old. The summer holidays have broken me. Between the sleepless nights and my 7 year old talking from the moment she wakes until she goes to bed, I want to scream.
A million and one questions about everything- whose the oldest person in the world? Has anyone ever put their whole first in the mouth? What about down to their throat? I can feel my jaw clenching and my eye twitching!
I love them both dearly but I can’t wait until next week when 7 yo is back in school and I can get some “me” time when my 3mo naps, IF he naps!
Ive had them both for 8 weeks together as we used my 7yo authorised leave days for holiday just before school broke up, so it’s pushed me to the edge 🥲 you have my sympathy!xx

@hiredandsqueak we always said we'd get a dog when the children were older but necause I've given up work - very hopefully temporarily - we decided now was a good time (DH WFH so she won't ever be alone!)

2bh so far she's an absolute dream, I've wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. The only difficulty is not being able to go out much this week, but that's very temporary. It's probably added to the stress but it's also given me some joy which I'm in desperate need of.

Glad it’s going well OP with the puppy. I have 5dc and the two youngest are autistic but found them a doddle compared to the puppy we got when youngest was eleven. He’s a very nice dog now but the reason we rescued an old girl and won’t ever have a puppy again.

DS got up at 4.45 this morning. He isn't allowed out of his room til 6 but DH forgot to give him his Yoto so has been up with him since then

Baby sling to take puppy out before can do walks works well if have to all go out

Thank you to everyone in here for the advice. Our eldest is 3 and recently I've been feeling like the demands for information, the talking, the shouting, the animal noises, the following me around, the pretending to be a baby is just beyond what a person can bear. I will try some of these ideas and get a bit of peace