Which is more important in a man?

[leather2099]

1. Tall, deep conversation, man of the world as in he knows 'stuff', like to wine and dine, loves dancing, loves fashion, sex amazing, works in emergency service BUT is quite insecure, have to be very accountable and very much the boss, v strict with my SEN kids...

2 2 inches taller than me, I never doubt where I stand, would agree to whatever I wanted but I'd probably have to find the restaurant, holiday, dress etc
15 years younger than other man.
V energetic sex life
Would love my kids as if they were his own

😬 which sounds best?

I'd say 2 based purely on the differing attitudes towards your kids.

I would say 2

2

2 sounds best but I don't think I've ever met anyone who truly actually loved someone else's kids as if they were there own.

Not 100% anyway

Number one sounds like a nightmare tbh.

You lost me at v. Strict.

Also, there is something to be said for an average bloke (no 2), they might not be all romance and roses, but you know where you are, it's not complicated.

Number 1 is a prick to your kids but you're willing to inflict him on them because he's a few inches taller than number 2?!

1 is a no way in hell for me. Certain forms of “strictness” for NT kids are actually abusive when applied to SEN/ND kids. I’m speaking as mum of SEN/ND kids.

2 sounds a bit like an adorable loyal puppy. So long as he’s more intelligent than a puppy, I’d go with him.

2, hands down.

Although personally neither. Both will drive you mad.

1 is definitely worse with the controlling behaviour and bossing around and sounds terrible for the kids

2 though will probably drive you mad if he leaves all of the mental load to you

But if you had no option then 2, because 1 would be incredibly unfair on the children and yourself

No 1 sounds awful so I’d strike him off and then consider if 2 can pull his socks up. You don’t want another kid.

How do you know 1 would be strict with your kids and 2 would love them like his own?

Have they both spent loads of time with them?

2 hands down.

I wouldn’t give 1 the time of day.

But I would still keep an eye out for 3 before committing

Neither.

There's millions of men in the world to choose from, not just these 2.

Neither. Take sex out of the equation sounds like your options are 1) your dad or 2) another kid.

N2 is a possibility.

N1 - never I don’t want older block who likes wine and fashion bossing me and my kid around. Im good at bossing and drinking my wine myself.

I don't like either, first sounds like a nightmare as pp have said, second sounds like a manchild if he leaves all the planning to you - does it stop there? Would he pull his weight at home?

2 definitely

The one thar fits in to your life is the one for you. The answer could be neither.

2 all day long

Which one is kind?

choose that one.

1 sounds insufferable.

2 sounds nice but I couldn't personally have to make all the effort. If you are set on one or the other - him.

My advice is to look for number 3. Equals.

Number 1 sounds awful, all that wining and dining stuff is an act and what's he being strict with your kids for?

Number 2 sounds a bit wet but better than 1.

Go for someone who makes you laugh and is kind and chips in with the housework.

Aside from how he is with the kids, none of those even strike me as real criteria for picking a partner so I can’t help there. Number 1 is the clear loser on the kid front.

Neither sound appealing for a serious relationship. 2 would drive me insane given how passive he sounds. Aside from him adoring your kids and the sex, are you really drawn to him as a companion?