What is it about guitars that make people think everyone wants to hear them?

[TwatsAndGuitars]

Sitting outside a cafe and some guitar wanker appears. I spot him and know what's coming next. He starts singing and playing. They almost always do. WTF is it about acoustic guitar players that makes them think that everyone in the general vicinity wants to hear them? You don't tend to get spontaneous unnecessary public performances by flautists or violinists, or do you? I don't count street performers in this btw. Just the guitar wankers who start randomly playing in cafes,restaurants and other public spaces where people are usually paying to be.

We have three in our small city centre. They can't play properly and they use an amplifier (anti social). I feel like pouring cold tea over them 😂

I quite like guitar playing on the street, but agree, not randomly appearing where I am enjoying some peace, with no licence to.

We were on holiday on the beach and some twat decided everyone would like to listen to his guitar playing. Why take a large instrument to the beach when you already have kids, dogs and all the related accessories that come with that. No. Piss off. Get in the sea.

Did they start playing 'Don't Look Back in Anger'?

There's a scene in the Barbie film (which I enjoyed much more than I thought I would) where the Barbies are having guitars played "at" them by the Kens. I'd never noticed it being done that way, but it was very familiar.

I came on to mention that Barbie scene. Absolutely spot on. “At” you.

I'm with you 100% and guitar wanker is exactly the right phrase.
Something fundamentally smug about them, esp when they can't even be arsed to be original or creative and we all have to suffer Wonderwall or similar for the thirtieth time.
Yes, I'm old and grumpy.

I used to move in slightly hippy circles and there was never a gathering without some wazzock mournfully patting a djembe.

It's because they're twats.

It's worse when they play their own compositions at everybody. They're invariably dire.

They're absolute nightmares at gigs, too. Bugger all stagecraft, rarely ready on time, almost always forget to bring their lead/extensions for the sodding loop pedals, no 9v batteries and frequently stop halfway through for five minutes to witter on about their 'craft' as they adjust to some ridiculous open tuning for one wail song that involves at least 4 lines worth of unnecessary half spoken lyrics for four bars before tuning to another one for the next - and then go back to the previous tuning for the one after that, ensuring that he always, always, ends the last song with some plinky plonk harmonics as he tips his earnest little moppy head to one side.

A bloke with a Tanglewood is generally a complete knob.

There’s a busker who plays guitar and sings, both badly, with a large amplifier in our favourite park every summer. So there’s no way to get away from it.

He is there most days, for the whole day. We were so pissed off last time that the dcs were loudly discussing the logistics of nicking the amp and throwing it in the lake. He actually disappeared for a couple of hours, unfortunately taking the amp with him.

Oh when I lived in Oxford for a few years there were regularly groups playing violins . I bloody loved it , I never before really bothered with it before then . It is such beautiful music . I assume they were students .

Oh god this takes me back to house parties in my 20's when at a certain time of the night one of the guys would take out his guitar and play for aaaages, and we were just supposed to sit there rapturous at his talent.

I even got shushed once for continuing a conversation. Plus you can't even leave the room because then you look rude. And why do they alway have a constipated look on their face when they play, do they think it makes them look thoughtful or something?

Definitely even worse in a public place. If I wanted to hear someone play guitar I will buy a ticket to a band I like.

Oh god I hate this too. Lovely sunny day, people wandering around or sitting outside having a coffee, and some bloody idiot decides that what everyone needs is a good dose of noise pollution. Just shut up and leave people in peace!

My DF does this at every family get together🙈. We'll all be chatting having a great time, and he'll start playing over us. So then instead of having a nice visit, we have to sit like lemons listening to his plinking and crooning. Just why?

Unless Mark Knopfler rocks up and starts playing, the guitar wankers should bugger off, as they are 99% of the time, shit.

👏

It's always Coldplay round these parts. They howl along like rabid wolves.

At least DH and DS Keep their guitar wankery at home (and never play Coldplay).

Slip inside the eye of your mind 😂

At least Blur fans don't indulge in this twattery, we just go mad to Song 2 occasionally 😜

Guitar wankers!!
I did a long-distance trek this summer in Norway and at one point had to sleep on a campsite in the valley because of poor weather conditions in the mountains. At least in the valley it wasn't pissing down. But lo and behold, on this campsite in a pretty isolated valley some guy rocks up, erects a teepee and then starts playing guitar at 10 o'clock at night with his wife or girlfriend looking on adoringly. FFS. Nobody wanted to hear him screeching "Take me home, country roads".

Later on in the hike I stayed one night in a mountain hut (again due to poor weather otherwise I would have been in my tent in the wilderness away from guitar wankers). Fucking hut had a guitar hanging on the wall. My heart always sinks when I come to a hut and there's a guitar there because you know it won't be long before someone who knows two or three chords decides to fetch it down from the wall, and instead of chopping it up for firewood and shoving it in the stove where it belongs, they proceed to sit in the middle of the living room /kitchen area and "entertain" everyone with some guitar wanking unrecognizable bollocks. So yeah, sure enough, a guy arrives and gets the guitar off the wall and starts strumming away.

Maybe I'm too intolerant - I'm a professional musician actually and put it down to not being able to bear out of tune instruments and the wailing that usually goes along with it - but I see others can't bear guitar wankers either.

Out of interest, has anyone ever seen a female guitar wanker in a situation like this, because I haven't.

Yes to Guitar Wankers plus the reverence they feel is deserved. Mate you so not Ed Sheeran who does also look constipated

It is Level 1 (highest level) of cringe.

Camping, at the lido, on my street, in the park! Always men! Just fuck off with your mindless strumming!

Could be worse. Could be the bagpipes.

Nope. We're the ones sitting at the back wishing for a freak lightning strike to leave nothing but a smouldering pair of brown suede Hush Puppies.

A friend of a friend, who could play guitar very well but never inflicted it on others had a name for the ones who start up uninvited: SCWAGs - Some Cunt With A Guitar.