What is it about guitars that make people think everyone wants to hear them?

[TwatsAndGuitars]

Sitting outside a cafe and some guitar wanker appears. I spot him and know what's coming next. He starts singing and playing. They almost always do. WTF is it about acoustic guitar players that makes them think that everyone in the general vicinity wants to hear them? You don't tend to get spontaneous unnecessary public performances by flautists or violinists, or do you? I don't count street performers in this btw. Just the guitar wankers who start randomly playing in cafes,restaurants and other public spaces where people are usually paying to be.

Still waiting for someone to quote an example of a female guitar wanker pissing off an entire campsite of people. No one's come up with an example yet!

Second question, I don't go to house parties any more, way too old, but I can remember in my youth having a great time laughing and chatting with people. Then a guitar wanker starts playing and then everyone stops chatting to listen to this dick holding forth with his mournful ballad, thereby ruining the mood. I'd love to know if everyone else was thinking the same thing "Fucking shut the fucking fuck up". Or do you think some people actually enjoy having a party ruined by this sort of thing?

It's the guitarist 'come face' couldn't bring myself to type cum It makes me want to vom

Hmmm...I've been playing guitar for more than 30 years. I also write songs (and sing them, as well as traditional songs/folky covers)..I definitely do not play any Oasis songs, nor do I play on street corners/cafes/anywhere uninvited. I'm female, not young and I'm sure I'm not self-obsessed. Unless a close friend or part of the music scene I'm into, many people I know/work with don't even know that I play. Guitar is difficult and yes very male dominated so getting recognition as a female guitarist isn't easy. I do hope I'm not considered a guitar wanker!😍

DHs best mate is a middle aged guitar wanker. He’s friends with loads of other Middle Ages guitar wankers. They film themselves playing Oasis/Coldplay/Crowded House and edit them together and send them to people.
I refuse to watch because I wouldn’t even sit and watch the original musicians singing and playing so why the fuck would I watch a load of mid life crisis men?

BM idea of a holiday is going to stay in the middle of nowhere in a house and chilling. He takes his guitar. I refuse the idea of going anywhere with him.

Oh God, that makes my blood run cold.

I was a bit "alternative" back in the day and it was the same with fucking drums.

And calling yourself after wolves because they were your spirit animal..🙄

That gave me a good laugh, thank you!

Genius.

No one enjoys it. But no one wants to be the person to tell them to shut up. Emperor's New Clothes. Everyone assumes that everyone else is enjoying it.

Some people will even close their eyes and nod slowly in time to the music to show their fake appreciation.

Although, I will see your guitar wanker and raise you the ukulele wanker - middle aged men who never learnt to play the guitar but realised they can play the C chord with only one finger and play Come Up and See Me at every chance.

Worse than that are the ones who find a few other middle aged ukulele players and think they've formed a band...

Why are guitar wankers male?

Because a guitar is just another Penis extension. See also: car with loud exhaust; posing at the gym; being an expert in anything; owning a large array of power tools.

I used to teach ukulele in groups in pubs (I needed the money). The UWs would sometimes come along, thinking that all would fall over in amazement at their superior skills. Once they'd pissed me off enough, I'd drop them into something like Space Oddity, Mr Blue Sky or Don't Stop Me Now, all of which use All of the Chords. They usually sat it out with a face like a slapped arse once they realised that other people were using 15-16 chords per song. And could sing in tune, getting all the words out in the right order.