Do I get grandparents a gift for looking after DC whilst we're at wedding?!

[lovetoscroll]

My in laws are coming over this weekend, travelling about 4 hours to get here- by boat and car. They do very little with the grandchildren, unless we go to them- which with 3 children 5 and under is a bit of a faff, it's far easier for them to come here.
This weekend we're off to a wedding and all of my family are going. In laws have been asked for months (since January) to come over to mind the kids.
My parents by comparison have the kids 3 days a week for us, very hands on. I'd never usually buy them a present unless it was something out of the ordinary.
Do I need to get in laws a gift for coming over and if so what kind of thing would you get?!

The point being , a token present would be polite to show your appreciation
Christ, the hard of thinking are out today it appears ...

My parents would have been horrified at being "paid" to look after their DC with gifts. We always thanked them with our time, a meal or a day out.

Their DGC!

Presumably your own parents live close by, hence looking after/seeing your children on a regular basis.
Your in laws are travelling four hours so that they can look after your children for the weekend while you go to a wedding.
And you actually have to ask whether you should buy them a small gift???

Theatre or restaurant voucher?? Plus v nice food and treats while they’re there, and flowers once they’re home again.

And speaking as a pretty willing and hands on GP of young Gdcs, IMO you should count yourself very lucky that they’re willing to come so far to look after 3 Gdcs for a weekend so you can go on a jolly. Especially if they’re getting on a bit.

So do I. She really doesn't like the mil

@SpunkyGibbon

the irony of you talking about politeness, then being so rude.

A token present 3x a week, weeks on end. If you're going to spout such nonsense then at least have the decency to back up whet exactly you'd buy each time, it's not easy to think of token gifts, let alone 3x per week.

You sound very entitled.
Your own parents are giving you - presumably free - childcare 3 days a week as they live close by.
Your inlaws live a 4 hour drive away and you complain they aren't ''hands on'' and don't visit often, yet you rarely visit them as ''it's a bit of a faff with three children under 5''
And yet these same inlaws are prepared to drive 4 hours to look after your three under 5's for a whole weekend, while you wonder if you should get them a small gift???

Nice bottle and some flowers as a gesture

I get that they do bugger all compared with your own parents but that doesn't mean you can't offer a token gesture

It’s a very long way so yes!

A handmade card and framed photo of dc to match their house decor, and some flowers from a florist (not supermarket) I’d leave them some delicious treats.

I hope you look after your own dpi as well, they sound amazing

If you feel you must get them a gift for visiting and looking after their own grandchildren, I'd consider getting them a voucher for a meal in a restaurant when they go home.

See if you can contact a restaurant that you know they frequent and see if you can buy a gift card/voucher over the phone/online that they can use when they get home.

I’d take a picture of them with their grandchildren and then get it printed, framed and sent to them.

Why wouldn’t you?

Surely you just make sure the house is stocked up with their favourite food and drinks? And then a genuine, and heartfelt thank you on your return and a bottle of champagne to take back with them?

Obviously, it totally depends on the relationship but as a rule, if someone is looking after my children for me, in my home, that's what I'd do.

@indyocean what do you expect them to do as they live a reasonable distance away? There is no expectation that grandparents should provide childcare, and not sure whether I would be impressed if adult DC expected me to look after 3 young children 3 days a week, that is a huge ask

I’m guessing they’ll refuse money for their travel. Yes to Chanel perfume and perhaps a decent bottle of malt for him if he’s a whisky drinker. That’s a big favour.

I expect them to do exactly as they are doing. Why do ask me?

@indyocean because you say they do bugger all compared to the other grandparents as if they are in the wrong

I did back it up @NeedTheSeaside

Ok 🙄

Reading this makes me feel awful. I clearly have not treated the people in my life who have helped me with my children enough.

I would definitely have things in the house I know they would like, food, drinks, chocolates. The preparation of food your dc will eat in advance is a good idea, so they have easy meal options. Leave money for takeaways, an outing, or whatever. I would send them a wee treat after to , to show appreciation. A thank you card with a voucher for a restaurant local to them or an afternoon tea box, some kind of nice experience type thing.

As well as getting a hamper or voucher to take home and nice nibbles for the weekend, I’d have every dinner cooked and frozen say spag nol, chilli con carne ready for them so mealtimes are easy. Spare bedding to hand etc

@SpunkyGibbon

you didn't flowers from
Aldi well, that's at max once per fortnight. What are you buying the other 5 nights? Then the follow 6 and the week after that?

I also live on an island, the ferries can cost hundreds of pounds, getting on and off is a nightmare and makes any trip to the mainland a right royal pain in the arse, so they are making a considerable, tiring and probably very expensive journey for you. I don’t think you necessarily need to buy a gift, your DH is the one to answer this question, but I hope you’re both paying their travel costs and providing some lovely food and drink for them to make their stay pleasant.