Most stupid mispronunciations and just weird words people say

[HumanDoing]

Them instead of those - them shoes
Pacific instead of specific
Should of instead of should have
Agreemence and agreeance instead of agreement
Chorizmo instead of charisma (the guy at work actually said it, pronounced it like a sausage)

My teen looked at me like o had two heads when I said I fancied going to the "pictures".
But I'm now veering off track. We've gone into accents/ different words for things more rather than Mataland and Goodle type mispronunciations. Fascinating though

My old boss used to pronounce it Krispy Krem 🤢

We all used to look silently across the room at each other whenever he said it. In the end he gave up on offering donuts 😆

I think 'while' can mean 'until' in some regions!

Really! That is interesting - I've never come across that. I can see why that would be confusing.

My parents were saying the other day that they mentioned 'the settee' to their teenaged grandchildren who all looked mystified.

Anyone said "miss-cheev-ee-oos" yet?
Upmost instead of uTmost.
Less when it should be fewer. (more than one is fewer. There were fewer sweets in the bowl than yesterday. There is less room now).
Lay when it should be lie ("I was laying in my bed. I went for a lay down." NOOOOOOOOOOOO! You lay a table or an egg or it's the past tense of to lie).

At least it wasn't a prawn representing Kings Crustacean.

Hospikal bokkle likke scocland
Know a few people who say this drives me mad. Oh and kekkle

Grew up in London, child of Londoners, grandparents were Londoners. Always pronounced it "Marlee-bone".

I’m s told this story before but I studied languages at Cambridge in the early 90s. That was when the panino was just getting popular as a lunch item. The ladies in the cafe that was right outside the Modern European Languages Faculty used to make them to order and shout out when they were ready, so every day you’d hear shouts of “Panini! Panini!” in a very strong Cambridgeshire accent ringing out across the terrace, from a lady holding a plate with one single sandwich on it..

(They were delicious though)

Ha ha. I assumed the Pancreas-dressed friend was making a knowing joke.

Before anyone jumps on me, the 90s were when the panino got popular as a lunch item in the UK. I’m well aware that Italians had been eating them for much longer!

(Though I was surprised to learn recently that Ciabatta was only invented in 1982. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciabatta ).

I hate it when people use AM/PM when using the 24 hour clock. For example - 19.17pm... As opposed to 19.17am...?

Worse instead of worst - I see it all the time. ‘Worse case scenario…’ etc. They can’t all be typos!

And sickth instead of sixth.

Yous

As in "I sent it to yous"

I know someone who merges scowl and glower together. She'll say someone "scoured" at her. I always picture someone scrubbing at her face 😂

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER Could that one not be contextual though? So "worsT-case scenario" is the most awful thing that could happen whereas "worsE-case" could just be slightly more awful than the first case that's not so bad??
Ooh, thought of another one: prostRate instead of prostate.

Always the same on threads like this. It's a smashing example of the Duning-Kruger effect. Sadly, especially common when it comes to language. Eminent linguists have actually looked into why it's the people who don't know that much about language, who seem to feel the need to assert that they do.

I LOVE youse. English really needs a plural of you for clarity, youse is my version of choice although also like ye. You guys feels a bit cheesy. Americans get around this nicely with y'all but hard to carry off this side of the Atlantic

And jaggy nettles!

Ha! Yes! In NI we don't say 'jag' for 'jab' as in Scotland (although I do possibly have some very vague memory of this from childhood) but we have been known to fall in jaggy nettles😆😆

Slightly changing the subject, I only realised that “squint” to mean crooked (rather than the eye condition) is not really used in England, despite having lived in England most of my adult life. I noticed Patrick Grant use it on Sewing Bee the other week, he’s from Edinburgh I think.

A colleague used to say ‘I rung.. (as in phoned) instead of ‘rang’. She was painfully conscious of her lack of education so I’m sure she’d have liked to know, but I could never bring myself to tell her.
Ditto ‘I done it’.

There are an awful lot of people on here insisting that their way is the 'right' way in terms of expressions or words for certain things. These aren't 'mistakes' to be corrected, they're just colloquialisms and it's not really for anyone else to tell someone they're wrong.

Saying rest bite instead of respite is a mistake and not the same thing.

Yous is a perfectly cromulent word.

Worse instead of worst - I see it all the time. ‘Worse case scenario…’ etc. They can’t all be typos!

And the other way round! It could have been worst😬 I absolutely love Kate Bush, but in Babooshka, it sounds as though she is singing 'She couldn't have made a worst move', which is borne out by some of the lyrics published online, but not all.

This is regional IME - you would never hear either where I'm from originally, regardless of anyone's standards of education or knowledge of SPAG.

Now I've moved a few hours up the road and hear these (especially I done, I seen and also that needs done) all the time including from my PhD educated colleagues. I suspect it would come under dialect.

Wrt "restbite" (yes, a categorical mistake) I try and put myself in the position of a person who would have the need of the word and imagine what it's like to walk in their shoes, rather than sniggering at them on a MN thread. (not you btw, but many many others)