Page 5 | In the old days…

Timetochangegonzo · 2023-08-18T19:15:43+00:00

Did people converse differently with each other. I’m watching a (modern, award winning) film set in 50s / 60s and everyone is incredibly formal with each other. Even with their family. There’s little laughing and joking and a lot of….well, words…. Now I know films aren’t real life but it’s such a common thing to see this amongst middle class families in media, I wondered whether anyone that lived in that time could confirm whether this is reality and life was much more formal? Or it’s all just bullshit.

TheAverageJoanne · 19/08/2023 11:29

@ThelmaBorden Elder doesn't automatically mean better. I'm all for respect but not deference.

RancidOldHag · 19/08/2023 11:32

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/08/2023 10:26

I'm not sure Bon Marche had arrived in UK in the 50s/60s (the timeframe of the opening post)

There was one in Brixton in the 60s. My aunt (emigrated to Australia in 1968) swore by it for clothes.

https://www.brixtonbuzz.com/2015/06/brixton-history-one-hundred-years-of-bon-marche-in-brixton-and-its-secret-tunnels/

That's a fascinating link - thank you!!

It seems this Bon Marche was a department store (unconnected to the current clothing shops) becoming part of Selfridges and then 1940-1975 it was a John Lewis, though it kept its original name. It was only quite recently (2002?) that John Lewis erased all the original names from its stores (only exception Peter Jones)

Violinist64 · 19/08/2023 13:26

I was born in the mid sixties and a child in the seventies. Life was more formal then in many ways. Adults were all Mr, Mrs, Miss, Doctor or Reverend. I miss this, to be honest. One big difference is that swearing and blasphemy were beyond the pale. This was true of almost every part of society. Most people left school and went to work at fifteen or sixteen then so were treated as young adults and expected to behave in this way. Manners, especially table manners, were very important. We had to say “please may I get down” before we could leave the table. We would wear a pinafore at mealtimes until we were about seven in order to keep our clothes clean. We had best clothes for Sunday. My mother and grandmother were excellent at knitting and most of our cardigans and jumpers were hand knitted. In addition, my grandmother was a very good seamstress and made quite a few dresses for us; some of them were beautifully smocked. Any adult could tell off a misbehaving child and we were definitely more responsible and held to be more responsible than is perhaps the case today. Your parents’ word was law. I didn’t dare get into trouble at school because I knew that if my parents found out l would be in far more trouble at home. Speaking properly was important, too. Duvet Days and sobbing around in pyjamas was both unheard of and unthinkable (it still is for me). We always knew we were loved and these rules made us feel safe as we knew where we stood. I think this was so for society as a whole.

Violinist64 · 19/08/2023 13:27

*Slobbing.

7Worfs · 19/08/2023 13:41

I never knew about “duvet days” and slobbing around in pyjamas until I came to the UK. It’s still mostly unheard of in many European countries.

Fifthtimelucky · 19/08/2023 14:06

Riapia · 19/08/2023 07:07

In the 1960’s you would never have called your in-laws by their first names.

As others have done, I disagree with this.

My parents called their parents in law by their first name in the 60s.

NoraLuka · 19/08/2023 14:15

Everything is definitely getting more informal, even at work and in business settings.

My grandma (born in the 1930s) in France had to use the formal form of you ‘vous’ with her own parents which seems absolutely crazy now, although vous/tu is still a bit of a minefield!

I remember DM in the 80s wondering if she should call the neighbour by her first name or not. Then in the 2010s the DC called their primary school teachers by their first names, which surprised me a bit!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/08/2023 14:18

My grandma (born in the 1930s) in France had to use the formal form of you ‘vous’ with her own parents which seems absolutely crazy now, although vous/tu is still a bit of a minefield!

My class went on a school exchange in 1968 and one of the things we were told to ask exchange parents was did they want us to address them as 'vous' or 'tu.'

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/08/2023 17:16

Violinist64 · 19/08/2023 13:26

I was born in the mid sixties and a child in the seventies. Life was more formal then in many ways. Adults were all Mr, Mrs, Miss, Doctor or Reverend. I miss this, to be honest. One big difference is that swearing and blasphemy were beyond the pale. This was true of almost every part of society. Most people left school and went to work at fifteen or sixteen then so were treated as young adults and expected to behave in this way. Manners, especially table manners, were very important. We had to say “please may I get down” before we could leave the table. We would wear a pinafore at mealtimes until we were about seven in order to keep our clothes clean. We had best clothes for Sunday. My mother and grandmother were excellent at knitting and most of our cardigans and jumpers were hand knitted. In addition, my grandmother was a very good seamstress and made quite a few dresses for us; some of them were beautifully smocked. Any adult could tell off a misbehaving child and we were definitely more responsible and held to be more responsible than is perhaps the case today. Your parents’ word was law. I didn’t dare get into trouble at school because I knew that if my parents found out l would be in far more trouble at home. Speaking properly was important, too. Duvet Days and sobbing around in pyjamas was both unheard of and unthinkable (it still is for me). We always knew we were loved and these rules made us feel safe as we knew where we stood. I think this was so for society as a whole.

This was not my experience. I was born in 63.

Most of my school friends stayed on to do A levels. I never had to ask to leave the table, my dm was not keen on formal things like this. Never wore a pinny, just normal clothes l played out in.

l started slobbing out as a student in the mid 80’s Once wore my pyjamas for 3 days straight. And remember nipping to the chippy in them. As did my housemates.