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16 should be able to sort own food out??

86 replies

Freezinghot666 · 16/08/2023 23:11

16 year old is doing my head in over food. When ever he's hungry he comes into the living room . Going on and on at me . He just won't stop and it stresses me. I have told him If he's hungry to make himself something. I don't care what he does I don't restrict him in anyway.

I do cook for him when doing family meals. But if he does not want what I'm cooking or he's out. Or asleep. Unless it's the type of meal that can be reheated/saved then he has to sort himself out .

Also if he wants to eat before I'm ready to cook then also I tell him To sort himself out.

I just think at 16 he's old enough not to go on at me like he does .

OP posts:
Doublechins · 16/08/2023 23:28

My 12 and 13 year old both make breakfast and lunch for themselves if they want something different to what i have made or if they're eating at different times. So yeah I think a 16 year old should be capable

TomatoSandwiches · 16/08/2023 23:33

Yes at 16 he should be able to do at least sandwiches, beans on toast, noodles or pasta etc

LaMaG · 16/08/2023 23:36

I agree a 16 yr old should be but I hear you, my 16 yr old constantly talks to me about food and will barge in at any hour while I'm watching TV or chilling and either ask what's there to eat or ask me to show him how to prepare something or where do we keep the whatever utensils. I usually reply that he should spend some time familiarising himself with the kitchen before asking me, or given that he spends half his life on Tiktok / YouTube he could watch some videos that are of use. Despite my smart answers he still pester me but I'm hoping the day will come that he stops. Either way I still refuse to accommodate him.

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LaMaG · 16/08/2023 23:37

I should add I always make his dinner and packed lunch, I dont mind this but anything else is on him. He can do pasta, eggs that kind of thing.

SometimesIHitPeopleWithMyCar · 16/08/2023 23:40

My ds 10
Makes himself noodles or a toastie for lunch. He will make pancakes or cinnamon toast for breakfast. Not got too far with proper family meals but he is definitely self sufficient in the kitchen. Your son is trying his luck

DelphiniumBlue · 16/08/2023 23:47

I found regular mealtimes and an expectation of a substantial contribution to food prep helped. We have a family meal together between 7-730. If someone is not going to be there for the meal, they need to let me know. I am flexible in that I will leave a plate for anyone who wants it, and everyone has to be involved with meal planning. One of the 3 adult males in my house has to help with the shopping if it needs to be done in person.
Outside dinner time, they make whatever they want when they want it, but I had to draw the line at cooking burgers at midnight as it stank the house out!
A 16 year old is old enough to help, or even cook a family meal once or twice a week, and of course to make their own lunch/snacks. There is no teenager who will refuse to make a toastie! Get a toastie maker if you have to to tempt them to do it for themselves.
But seriously, a 16 year old should not be nagging you for snacks. Why do they think this is appropriate?

UsingChangeofName · 17/08/2023 00:10

I assumed you meant when you weren't there.

What do you mean by "go on at you" ?
You've said he can sort meals himself.
Is he checking what ingredients are available, as opposed to being for the meal you are going to cook later? Or checking what's for the next meal, and when it is, so he can judge what / how much he needs to eat to last until then ?

Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:12

DelphiniumBlue · 16/08/2023 23:47

I found regular mealtimes and an expectation of a substantial contribution to food prep helped. We have a family meal together between 7-730. If someone is not going to be there for the meal, they need to let me know. I am flexible in that I will leave a plate for anyone who wants it, and everyone has to be involved with meal planning. One of the 3 adult males in my house has to help with the shopping if it needs to be done in person.
Outside dinner time, they make whatever they want when they want it, but I had to draw the line at cooking burgers at midnight as it stank the house out!
A 16 year old is old enough to help, or even cook a family meal once or twice a week, and of course to make their own lunch/snacks. There is no teenager who will refuse to make a toastie! Get a toastie maker if you have to to tempt them to do it for themselves.
But seriously, a 16 year old should not be nagging you for snacks. Why do they think this is appropriate?

You are very good. I could not do what you do . I would be fipping my hair out 🤣.

But the 2nd part of your post. Yes ds was cooking stir frys at 3am etc. I worry so much he might forget to turn something of or something dangerous happens.

My younger children make snacks or a basic lunch etc. I don't understand why he makes it such a big thing.

OP posts:
continentallentil · 17/08/2023 00:13

Go on at you about what?

Buy him a second hand copy of the student cook book and tell him to get on with it.

DelphiniumBlue · 17/08/2023 00:17

Cooking smells are really antisocial. I found coming down and shouting helped, also waking them up early to make them clear up. Or just say, "kitchen is closed after x time. If you want food after that, it's going to have to be a snack - biscuits/crisps/fruit/nuts." I bet he doesn't clear up afterwards, and that's going to be why you have close the kitchen.
I'm so glad mine are all grown up, 16 year old boys are such a pain, even the nice ones!

Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:22

UsingChangeofName · 17/08/2023 00:10

I assumed you meant when you weren't there.

What do you mean by "go on at you" ?
You've said he can sort meals himself.
Is he checking what ingredients are available, as opposed to being for the meal you are going to cook later? Or checking what's for the next meal, and when it is, so he can judge what / how much he needs to eat to last until then ?

I'm.not 100% sure what you mean? When I say go on at me. He does not even check what's in kitchen ,fridge freezer he comes directly to me. Mum I'm hungry. What food is there. To eat . Me have a look and do yourself something. Without looking keeps telling me there's nothing. Moans what can he cook. Or that he does not want to cook. Then moans there's no quick lunch type stuff. ( there is) he's not bring asked to cook/make food for anyone else just himself because he's hungry.

OP posts:
Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:23

continentallentil · 17/08/2023 00:13

Go on at you about what?

Buy him a second hand copy of the student cook book and tell him to get on with it.

I don't think u understand

OP posts:
Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:26

DelphiniumBlue · 17/08/2023 00:17

Cooking smells are really antisocial. I found coming down and shouting helped, also waking them up early to make them clear up. Or just say, "kitchen is closed after x time. If you want food after that, it's going to have to be a snack - biscuits/crisps/fruit/nuts." I bet he doesn't clear up afterwards, and that's going to be why you have close the kitchen.
I'm so glad mine are all grown up, 16 year old boys are such a pain, even the nice ones!

🤣 loved the end of your post .sort of glad it's not just mine. It's just annoying how primary school kids can get a snack themselves but a 16 year old it turns into a big thing .

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 17/08/2023 00:30

Tell him you have no interest in his moaning and you are not going to cook something for him. Clap on a pair of nice big headphones and ignore anything else he says.

UsingChangeofName · 17/08/2023 00:32

mathanxiety · 17/08/2023 00:30

Tell him you have no interest in his moaning and you are not going to cook something for him. Clap on a pair of nice big headphones and ignore anything else he says.

This

Aquamarine1029 · 17/08/2023 00:36

For fuck's sake, op, lay down the law and tell him to stop badgering you. He's 16, he knows where the kitchen is, and he can bloody well figure it out or go hungry. I would make it absolutely clear that you are not his skivvy or his cook. If he keeps pestering you, I would reward him with consequences he definitely wouldn't like.

Please don't let him grow up to be yet another useless man who can't manage to care for himself.

Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:39

mathanxiety · 17/08/2023 00:30

Tell him you have no interest in his moaning and you are not going to cook something for him. Clap on a pair of nice big headphones and ignore anything else he says.

I don't have head phones 😅. It would just cause problems if I done that of simlar. I do tell him to stop etc he eventually stops
It just does my head in because it's a few times a day and there's just no need for it .

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 17/08/2023 00:41

Another thing, sort of mentioned it earlier but I need to stress this, if he’s saying there’s nothing to eat ( no snack materials) then you get him involved in food planning and creating the shopping list, so that in future the kitchen is stocked with what is needed. For example , hummus, cheese, ham, get him to specify what it is that he likes for a snack. Mine used to like baguettes and wraps, and bagels were good because they last longer if for any reason they’re not eaten. But the point is, get him to work it out and add it to the shopping list. Make him take responsibility.

Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:45

Aquamarine1029 · 17/08/2023 00:36

For fuck's sake, op, lay down the law and tell him to stop badgering you. He's 16, he knows where the kitchen is, and he can bloody well figure it out or go hungry. I would make it absolutely clear that you are not his skivvy or his cook. If he keeps pestering you, I would reward him with consequences he definitely wouldn't like.

Please don't let him grow up to be yet another useless man who can't manage to care for himself.

That's the thing unless I happen to be cooking doing food anyway . I don't do stuff for him. I don't give in to him. For exactly the reasons you say. I'm not allowing him to become a useless male that woman wait on. He's more than capable of doing food for himself

OP posts:
fullbloom87 · 17/08/2023 00:46

At 16 he should be able to make himself something to eat. Mine could cook a family meal by the time they were 10.
I think you need to stand your ground, you don't want him growing up then putting it on his wife. You still have time now to teach him how to be a 'man'

LifeExperience · 17/08/2023 00:48

Stop getting him food when he acts like that. Tell him that unless he talks to you in a reasonable tone of voice and takes responsibility for preparing some of his snacks and meals, you're not lifting a finger for him and then STICK TO IT! If you give in to the whinging and helplessness, you'll only get more of it.

Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:53

DelphiniumBlue · 17/08/2023 00:41

Another thing, sort of mentioned it earlier but I need to stress this, if he’s saying there’s nothing to eat ( no snack materials) then you get him involved in food planning and creating the shopping list, so that in future the kitchen is stocked with what is needed. For example , hummus, cheese, ham, get him to specify what it is that he likes for a snack. Mine used to like baguettes and wraps, and bagels were good because they last longer if for any reason they’re not eaten. But the point is, get him to work it out and add it to the shopping list. Make him take responsibility.

That does not work for me. There is always stuff in the house my cupboard never become empty there's always snacks, lunch dinner's obviously gets low near shop day but there's always something. Also if there's something needed I would allow him to hrt it from the shop.

I know its often advised to get teens involved with the shop but he gets quite demanding I'm on a budget and it will just cause me more stress.

OP posts:
Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 00:55

LifeExperience · 17/08/2023 00:48

Stop getting him food when he acts like that. Tell him that unless he talks to you in a reasonable tone of voice and takes responsibility for preparing some of his snacks and meals, you're not lifting a finger for him and then STICK TO IT! If you give in to the whinging and helplessness, you'll only get more of it.

I don't do him food when he demands. Him demanding does not make me do it. I still say no.

OP posts:
MumApril1990 · 17/08/2023 00:55

My DH does this

Freezinghot666 · 17/08/2023 01:01

MumApril1990 · 17/08/2023 00:55

My DH does this

Are you telling me ds won't grow out of it 😭 actually my ex used to do it to .

OP posts:
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