What message app for 11yo not Whatsapp?

[unlikelychump]

Any suggestions. It seems like Google hangouts isn't a thing any more. DD wants to send picture messages but they cost money as mms. I am not going to let her have Whatsapp yet unless I reaaaaaalllly have to.
Is there anything else? Does Google have a chat app that works on data?

Not apple people so that is no good

We use kinzo, kids family messaging app, my kids are a little younger than yours but I recommend it.

No point having an app to talk when there's no one there to talk to. Nothing wrong with WhatsApp that wouldn't happen on any other app.

The age limit is now 16. Same age they can have sex for the first time. Obviously ridiculous for the two to be allowed on the same day.

Just have boundaries.

Oh and DD is 11.

Mine have WhatsApp on the condition that they're not in groups until they reach age. Their phones are set up with their own age so I can't remember how I did it but I know I had to approve an over age app being downloaded.

I prefer WhatsApp to Snapchat as dd1 has Snapchat and it's all about the streaks with her friends, which means she has to message every day. Plus messages disappear or can be screenshot. I know it's the same with WhatsApp as you can delete messages but it seems less problematic and gets round the picture messaging charges for the dc's friends who do not have iPhones/iMessage. I suspect some of that is it's not as attractive an app to young people.

We are very strict on the no group rules as dc were added when they first had it and were just as guilty as their peers of some nasty messages. Their phones are checked regularly with eldest's more sporadic as she's demonstrated sensible use over the years. They all know their phones can be restricted even further at any time for inappropriate use.

Surely you can limit what chats she creates and what groups she's added to on WhatsApp? My DS in year 6 has it but only has siblings and grandparents on it. I don't allow him to have anyone else. His phone doesn't leave the kitchen worktop so I can check it when I want.

I'd worry if I got an app they would be limited to who they can message if the over person doesn't have the same app 🤔

It is so refreshing to see someone actually answer the OP’s question, instead of debating and challenging it!

Hurray for @AppropriateAdult

When my DGD was 11 her parents installed Signal on her phone so all family members did the same. Apparently it's much more secure than WhatsApp. Now she's older she's allowed WhatsApp but it's highly monitored and her time is restricted. You're doing the right thing by looking for alternatives.

Signal and telegram both allow picture upload. I think they have better security but I don’t think any app solves the being nasty in groups problem

I just wanted to jump on OP and say well done for protecting your daughter, and not bowing to pressure! Social media in all forms can be, as you clearly already know, utterly devastating.

We use discord in this house.

Thanks for the crowd that have turned up a bit later. I must say I was surprised that so many people were trying to get me to use it.

I am not convinced randomly checking the phone is a failsafe method. I am not prepared to put significant time into monitoring an app which the child shouldn't even have yet, nor employ rules like the phone has to be on the table.

Some bizarre comments about Whatsapp not being awful, I am not anti it. I do use it. I do realize 11yos are the problem. Which is why mine is not using it.

A couple of other suggestions have been pretty helpful and things to look for. And a gem from the poster about the two types of message app on Android. That was what I needed to know and I will go looking for it!!

So what happens when the app you decide your dd can use isn't used by any if her friends?

Same as it does now. She can text them.
The horror!

Haven't you read the thread? She doesn't even want Whatsapp.

She will have it in due course but there is no reason for her to have it now.