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Original poster

What message app for 11yo not Whatsapp?

63 replies

unlikelychump · 16/08/2023 12:27

Any suggestions. It seems like Google hangouts isn't a thing any more. DD wants to send picture messages but they cost money as mms. I am not going to let her have Whatsapp yet unless I reaaaaaalllly have to.
Is there anything else? Does Google have a chat app that works on data?

Not apple people so that is no good

OP posts:
jannier · 16/08/2023 15:30

Why would you want to expose an 11 year old to the risks of online abuse and bullying? They all start sending a few pictures to friends then the circle grows and the messages pictures and peer pressure comes.

jannier · 16/08/2023 15:31

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 16/08/2023 14:21

Agree that it depends from group to group what the main platform is.

For my younger DC it's Snapchat. So she has just that, no others. We lock it down as best we can, and I do spot checks. IMO that's the best you can do. No socials is of course the other option, but by secondary school age this does risk getting left out of meet ups etc.

How do you monitor snap chat when messages are view once and disappear?

BertieBotts · 16/08/2023 15:31

Maybe an email account would work?

Google Hangouts has been replaced with Duo, but I don't know if it has text messaging or just video.

We did allow whatsapp at 11 but only for family members and we had access to the account so could see what he was sending/receiving.

Dolphinnoises · 16/08/2023 15:51

How about Signal? It’s basically WhatsApp for geeks but without the data gathering

Moonberri · 16/08/2023 15:51

Threema is an alternative but you would obviously all have to install it.

I would use WhatsApp but just have a rule that she can't join groups. Seems the most simple solution.

Catsanfan · 16/08/2023 15:54

I think it's fine for an 11 year old to have whatsapp. If you use a different one their friends won't have it in all likelihood. That's providing they don't have form for silly online behaviour

AppropriateAdult · 16/08/2023 15:57

Kinzoo is a great option for kids, they can only connect with people with parental approval and you can set up groups, send photos and videos, make video calls.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 16/08/2023 16:17

jannier · 16/08/2023 15:31

How do you monitor snap chat when messages are view once and disappear?

Show quote history

You can set that to 24 hours after reading now. So no, you can't see pages and pages of history, but regular spot checks still show a flavour of what's going on, plus who their contacts are

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 16/08/2023 16:20

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 16/08/2023 16:17

You can set that to 24 hours after reading now. So no, you can't see pages and pages of history, but regular spot checks still show a flavour of what's going on, plus who their contacts are

Show quote history

Not if they're sending unsuitable messages and/or pics as actual 'snaps', they will still not stay on the 24hr feed. That's just actual messages.

carrotcaketop · 16/08/2023 16:39

WhatsApp age limit is now 16, used to be 13. Limit was increased because of personal data being collected.

HoliHormonalTigerLillyTheSecond · 16/08/2023 16:44

My 11 yr old uses Just Talk Kids with his classmates. He uses a tablet. As he doesn't have a phone yet. But I'm sure there's a phone app

Skinnybluebody · 16/08/2023 16:50

My son uses Discord

BarbedButterfly · 16/08/2023 16:53

The fact is, no one uses the alternatives so what's the point. It is Snapchat, discord and WhatsApp really that are commonly used.

Mayhemmumma · 16/08/2023 17:45

I've let my 11 year old have what's app - the groups can be challenging but I think it's good to practice with this, especially at an age she'll talk to me about it and check what she's writing. As a teen I figure I'll have no input. She's learnt quite quickly that she can leave a group or not respond.

Also I love the groups in the most part, her and her good friends make plans and keep in contact and me and her dad have a group chat with her, it's so lovely! And group calls are fun.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/08/2023 21:13

Can she not just send them as emails? Oh make a shared photo album and keep uploading into it?

Jenn3112 · 16/08/2023 21:46

My son had Whats app at 11 on starting secondary, he knows he isn't allowed to join a group without asking (eg he is in one for his football team and thats fine but he isn't allowed in the school year group one as that can get nasty). I check his phone and he has limits on time. Whats App is set to all the time as he mostly uses it to message family and ask when his friends are going out. He is Dyslexic/dyspraxic so prefers to send us short voice messages rather than texts so otherwise he would struggle. Whats App definitely isn't awful.

whathappenedtosummer23 · 16/08/2023 21:51

WhatsApp is literally your best bet. Just stop her joining groups. Nobody uses anything else apart from Snapchat and that’s far more problematic

fuckityfuckityfuckfuck · 16/08/2023 22:08

Age limit for WhatsApp is 16+

It is not suitable for an 11yo.

Speak to any teacher of y6/y7/ks3. They will strongly advise against it.

You are at best naive, more likely delusional, if you think 'monitoring' and 'spots checks' are enough.

For the OP: on all our android phones, on the normal sms there is a blue and a green. I can't remember which is which, but one is normal sms and charges for mms and one is Internet based and does not charge. You just have to go into settings once in the sms message app to switch between the two.

whathappenedtosummer23 · 16/08/2023 22:16

fuckityfuckityfuckfuck · 16/08/2023 22:08

Age limit for WhatsApp is 16+

It is not suitable for an 11yo.

Speak to any teacher of y6/y7/ks3. They will strongly advise against it.

You are at best naive, more likely delusional, if you think 'monitoring' and 'spots checks' are enough.

For the OP: on all our android phones, on the normal sms there is a blue and a green. I can't remember which is which, but one is normal sms and charges for mms and one is Internet based and does not charge. You just have to go into settings once in the sms message app to switch between the two.

I agree with you but it is infinitely better than Snapchat.

Hawkins009 · 16/08/2023 22:18

unlikelychump · 16/08/2023 12:40

Thanks for such helpful responses. All fully answering my question! For starters what app is for 13yos plus and she is 11. Next up, Whatsapp groups for children are toxic.

But it would be nice for her to be able to send picture messages to some friends and to her grandma and us.

I was wondering if there was a commonly used alternative such as a new hangouts etc.

There's the app called signal

Hawkins009 · 16/08/2023 22:19

This is the signal app

What message app for 11yo not Whatsapp?
EasterIssland · 16/08/2023 22:21

unlikelychump · 16/08/2023 14:05

Thanks all (for tips on Whatsapp on the whole) although no real alternatives coming up. I have found a Google chat so we have installed that as a start.

She hadn't asked for Whatsapp, she knows it is awful as she watches all her friends fall out on it and has heard various bollockings in y6. It might be better than other apps but that isn't really relevant either as none of those are in the picture.

She just wants to not be charged to send a picture.

Sorry but WhatsApp is not awful. The people are the awful ones. And that means if her friends are falling out in WhatsApp then it’s her friends the awful ones and it won’t make a difference whether she wants to send them a pic on WhatsApp or google. These are just tools that facilitate communication it’s up to each person how it’s used

PalomaPalomaPaloma · 16/08/2023 22:23

Could she email them instead?

Meredusoleil · 16/08/2023 22:24

fuckityfuckityfuckfuck · 16/08/2023 22:08

Age limit for WhatsApp is 16+

It is not suitable for an 11yo.

Speak to any teacher of y6/y7/ks3. They will strongly advise against it.

You are at best naive, more likely delusional, if you think 'monitoring' and 'spots checks' are enough.

For the OP: on all our android phones, on the normal sms there is a blue and a green. I can't remember which is which, but one is normal sms and charges for mms and one is Internet based and does not charge. You just have to go into settings once in the sms message app to switch between the two.

This is what my 11 yo uses 👌