What’s your eternal hell cycle?

[ladyandthechocolate]

On a long journey, we were talking about the idea of hell cycles (that is an endless scenario you find yourself stuck in for eternity that would really be your worst nightmare). But lightheaded obvs.

They had some really creative ideas (DD thought she’d be in a doughnut eating competition on the back of a moving float to the sound of crying babies whilst wearing clothes with itchy labels).

This was mine:

I’m in a busy soft play which is hot, loud and smells of grease and nappies. I’m looking after multiple children who all want something from me, or for me to crawl through impossibly tight spaces with them. I’ve got a hangover with a banging headache and wet socks from where I have trodden in something unidentified and I’ve got no other adults with me for solidarity.

What are yours?

On the train home from work after a challenging day dealing with 'City' boys and their misogynistic 'banter' as I work in an 80/20 male/female office, Train was late and I bought a coffee at the station kiosk which I spilled all down my front when trying to dodge a nasty wasp. So, train is full and noisy and the air con is broke and the windows don't open and it's summer. I'm sticky from the coffee and sticky from the heat. Man beside me is playing 'music' so loud, I can hear it, even though I have my AirPods in, plus there is a distinct smell of BO and foodstuffs and the train driver has just announced an incident on the line ahead and we will be significantly delayed.,,and I can feel a migraine coming on and I've no water.,.
Oh and someone on the other aisle is having a full blown FT call with their significant other which we are all party to.

Just catching up with this thread and very impressed where this topic has taken you all.
Particularly the never ending call centre and being lost in a hire car or seasick.

I thought of another one though….searching for a lost passport (sub other vital document) at home on a time deadline. You absolutely must have this document and tiny bits of information about its’ possible whereabouts keep coming into your mind but are pushed out by the noisy, squabbling of children who don’t understand the gravity of the situation. You ransack cupboards and search under beds and down sofas endlessly with a rising tide of panic. The youngest child keeps complaining of an itchy bottom and the oldest keeps poking you and asking questions about manatees. Repeat forever.

I'm on a plane, being Ofsted inspected, teaching children who won't listen and cats that keep throwing up. Suddenly there's turbulence, and I have a horrendous period....

Any day I spent with my ex. Walking on eggshells and feeling the fear butterflies. Feeling like everything that went wrong was always my fault. I can crystallise this into teatime as for years I felt the crushing doom sensation of the fear of it not being ready @ 6pm. I would drive to local farm shops miles away to source ingredients. Feeling sad I couldn't buy the nice food in the super markets. I had got a cheap (normal) chicken from the butchers up the road as I had been stuck at the vets. Watching as he got up from the table angry as he won't eat cheap meat. The left plates as it was my job to clear all that up.

A lighter one. from RL,
New car, had it months but still unexpected warning lights flash or glow. A new one for me. Stop car and look in handbook, cannot identify tiny icon to main section.
Drive home and about to ask wife who has better eyesight after 25 mins we think we have found it. get into car light does not come on.
Repeat on next journey that is further than the shopping.

I'm in an endless narrow dark tunnel. The air is stiflingly hot and smells of rotting meat. There is rancid water that leaves just enough of a gap at the top to gasp in some air but not so much to have my head fully emerged.

The roof of the tunnel is full of spider webs with hundreds of spiders run across my face and into my mouth every time I gasp out a breath. The webs are all in my hair and I can feel them across my skin. The water is putrid and there are slimy masses floating in it that I keep touching with my hands as I'm blindly groping forward. There is something behind me and I can hear its high pitched scream moving closer if I slow down. All I'm wearing is a tight swimsuit that it wedged up my crotch but I cant stop to fix it.

Somewhere in the distant I hear my little girl hysterically shouting my name. She's in trouble but I can't get to her.

There are things in the water, they tap and move against my body constantly feeling like I'm being tickled.

You are in a bright soulless conference rooms. All the tables are packed with colleagues who are disgruntled as this presentation has overrun and it's Friday home time. They glare towards the screen in hostile silence. It's a hot summer's day and you can just about see the beautiful day outside through the blinds and hear distant laughter from the bar around the corner.

The room is stiflingly humid and there is the musty smell of BO and stale sandwiches which are curling on the tables.

It's your turn to speak. You stand at the front with the slide light glaring into your eyes.

You are uncomfortably aware that you are bulging out of your clothes due to putting on some weight since your last work outting. Your new shoes have rubbed and you have blisters on your heels.

Someone has messed up the slide show and you are standing there awkwardly while they try and fix it. Everyone is staring at you. The only sound is the occasional agitated cough and the sound of your boss saying "hmmm I think I need to get someone up here from ICT. Shouldn't take long. Why don't you entertain them for a while"

Your mind is blank. All eyes focus on you. You can feel hysterical panic. You cannot speak. The embarrassment is overwhelming.

@ladyandthechocolate the search for the vital document? That was us last night. Couldn't find elder child's new timetable for his first day at high school (today - it's Scotland) and child had no clue (and no inspiration for possible places he might have put it) and it wasn't with the thousand other pieces of paper. And husband has OCD so we couldn't just assume school would issue a new printout tomorrow (they probably would).

We found it. Eventually.

The questions about manatees, very real... except it would have been a pop quiz about which were our favourite models of bus. Older child is old enough to pick his timing for this now; younger child not so much.

@DuckyShincracker this sounds horrific, I'm so sorry.

Its not as grim as others but I used to walk down 8 flights of stairs which took forever and i often imagined 'What if I had to do this for eternity'

Going to any social event.

I am in the dmv waiting for my ticket to come up. I am constantly 10 tickets away from being called despite the numbers changing and lots of staff. The man next to me is banging his forehead with his fist (this really happened last time) and looks about ready to lash out at someone else. The whole place is too hot and stinks of body odor and some strange unidentifiable stale food smell. I need to pee, but can’t miss my number. Some overly friendly woman sits next to me and tries to talk to me. Eventually my number is called and I go to the desk only to realize I forgot my paperwork at home and have to start all
over.

Dont want to offend anyone but mine would be waking up to find i am a security guard at a building site...or have to just be at some kind of traffic diversion intersection. Where its just an 8hr shift of doing NOTHING! Or YOUTUBE is on repeat and its an endless loop of terrible terrible videos with whats up guys ... like & subscribe ... said every 2 minutes. Those are my two for sure.

This was my life too until I got out.
I really couldn't be arsed with it now.😃

The only waitress in a very busy restaurant, wearing brand new plastic strappy stilettos that are already cutting the skin. Smoking is back allowed inside and everyone is at it. The chef is a sorta boyfriend who has decided to give you the silent treatment but you don't know why and the bar staff are mean-girls who hate you. Hair and skin are greasy from the smoke and fried food and the underwire in your bra has gone through the fabric and is stabbing you. Customers are nasty or gropey, no other variety. And then a cold sweat and the cramps that signal diarrhoea but, even if you have time, the only loo opens directly into the main room and the door doesn't reach the floor or ceiling.

Tights with a toe hole is an excellent one @WombatCowgirl !

Mine is a maze of airport corridors. I'm going to miss my flight but I can't find the gate. They're calling on the tannoy. When I finally get to where I'm going, I'm in strange, musty smelling hotel room, no natural light, just a little blinking red light (or a clock radio). I'm exhausted, but I can't find a way to switch it off. Every time I'm just dropping off to sleep, I roll that way and it wakes me up. And repeat. Ugh.

I'm in an office where all my colleagues talk about diets all day. They look longingly at the normal food I have for lunch but also have to be slightly bitchy about it because it's not in their points or syns or whatever.

My manager keeps returning my work for redoing but that's because they're a bully not because it actually needs rework. And I've got the wrong shoes on so they're just the wrong side of comfort.

I'm skiing..having spent about an hour getting kids organised and fitted and everyone arguing, I finally am alone. My boots are torture instruments, feet and calves throb. My tummy still hurts from bending over and having to pull my boots on. Every moment I'm terrified of falling, the ground literally slips away in front and legs are about to explode with the strain of not falling down a mountain. The lifts are terrifying. Everyone is enjoying themselves and I'm trying not to cry into my goggles. Feeling angry cos I'm overweight and unfit but also cos I would never have enjoyed it anyhow and let myself get talked into it again. Finally after hours of hell I take all the gear off and am myself again and spend the next 6 hours listening to others boast about what they achieved today and poring over maps planning how amazing tomorrow will be and I fall asleep exhausted only to wake up and repeat it again.

I'm in the back of a car driven by my exh, who is telling me how everything is my fault, I have motion sickness and there is a huge thunderstorm outside, which I can't hide from as I'm in a car and I can see every flash of lightning. There is a large dog on the seat next to me, barking at me constantly. The car is too hot and I'm wearing a thick, fluffy polo neck jumper and jeans that are too tight and my toe is poking through a hole in my sock. On my lap is a bowl of baked beans.

@nellytimes I thought this was a RL update 😅

Hey u guýyyyyyys whats up guys i missed you all so much is this 4 real? Like and sub for moar videos, first 2000 get a special sephora make up kit signed by my purple dolphin pet

Wonder if we worked at the same place…

Great thread, chuckled at some of the replies particularly the spider/MIL one 😂

Mine would be:

I'm walking my dog in new boots, I have a blister forming and it's getting bigger and more painful with every step but I'm still miles from home. I have a hair on my face that no amount of trying can I find and move. I'm frightened as there are big aggressive dogs running off lead everywhere and I'm roasting hot because I'm yet again in the wrong damn coat and the sun is out. The coat is wool lined and scratchy on my already hot neck and to top it off my socks keep rolling under my feet.

I'm in a very hot and humid place. It's all concrete and no greenery. When I have tea, people around me join and smack their lips and chew their food loudly.

I have no time to rest and decompress because CF guests are popping in all the time.

If I want to get out of this place, the only way out is a 24 hour flight. Front row are screaming shrieking children too young to fly and there is so much turbulence and people keep screaming and saying the plane is ginna crash. I get sick and stuck inside while travelling and no doctor on board.

Oops