Ridiculous/annoying phrases that wind you up/make no sense

[MakeMineAdoubleChocolate]

I will start.

-Hate cigarettes being called fags.

-The London term, bare, referring to lots, but in reality means nothing, like bare minimum. So when they say there were BARE people at the museum, do they mean none or naked!

-Allow it fam! Another London term, where people will say that when they want something to stop. But 'allow it' surely means let it continue, haha.

-Beggars belief/isn't it meant to be it begs belief?.... someone correct me if I am wrong? ....

-boils my p#*s. Makes me feel sick thinking of a pot of urine on the stove being boiled.

-chest of draws/ chester draws. Its bloody drawers!

-the classic 'i brought it from the shop'

-my mother used to shout out Pure Filth in her Irish accent, if the house wasn't tidy. It wasn't even that bad, but she hated mess and if there was an empty glass on the table and a magazine left on the floor or a crisp wrapper, she would call the house a mess and that we (US SIBLINGS) were happy to live in PURE FILTH. Bearing in mind, the two don't exactly go together. 'LOOK AT THIS PURE FILTH! GOD FORGIVE YE!'

-Men referring to each other as Bruv. I don't mind bro, mind you.

'Caught pregnant'

Curated - HATE it!

Nanny used instead of granny. You are not an old goat

Like sensational newspaper headlines going on about ‘broken Britain’ or ‘broken communities’. I predict that these phrases will eventually go the same way as ‘broken home’ which you never hear these days, even in ultra-conservative publications.

Every three-year-old can tell you that one. The culprit is usually Daddy or naughty Uncle Fred. 😂

Linguistics students call these ‘placeholder’ phrases: a way of giving yourself time to think about what you’re going to say while ensuring nobody interrupts you and that you keep the listener’s attention.

People who answer every question with "So....."
As avid watchers of The Chase, we see it with almost every contestant when Bradley is getting to know the competitors.

NumberFortyNorhamGardens

One of the high up managers where I once worked would endlessly insert 'sort of' and 'in terms of' into his public announcements and talks - several times randomly in each sentence. I don't know whether it was nerves or a vocal tic or something.

It did make for unintentionally awkward listening - especially when you're thanking Sheila for bringing in her 'home-made sort of cakes'!

YABU - The two things you refer to as London terms are used all over the UK not just in London

In a coffee shop - "can I get..."
No! You can't get it, you can order it, pay for it and someone behind the counter will make it for you. "May I have..." "I'd like..."

I hate it when someone describes an inanimate object (usually make up or an item of clothing) as 'she', "she's a gorgeous cloloured lipstick". Grrrrr!

Smashed it! Just gives me the rage!
Caught feels, again irritating!

"Can I get" is how I always ask for something in a shop, as does everyone else I know. Didn't realise it was incorrect. People in shops would think you were trying to be terribly posh and pretentious if you said, "May I have" 😅

My adult children start every sentence with So - really annoys me. They didn't used to - just over the last couple of years, as do so many people on TV.

"At this moment in time" - just say now FFS.

Gonna when written on MN posts.

Can I get" is how I always ask for something in a as does everyone else I know. Didn't realise it was incorrect. People in shops would think you were trying to be terribly posh and pretentious if you said, "May I have" 😅

'Can I get?' is absolutely fine @RaraRachael .
Unfortunately, some people just don't seem to realise that the verb 'to get' has more than one meaning. It can mean 'to receive' as well as 'to obtain'.
Best to ignore them I feel.
(Or hand them a dictionary if they're being particularly annoying 😉)

Probably the Aussie-Wozzies.

I won’t say that “can I get” is North American as apparently that’s prejudiced, so I’ll just say that almost everyone I’ve heard saying this in a cafe has been from North America.

I'm Scottish and eveyrbody I know says, "Can I get"

Fair enough, I wouldn’t know much about Scotland. I’m in SW England and I rarely hear it here. People tend to say “Could I have a latte, please?”

on mumsnet, using the word "think" to describe something whilst maintainaining anonymity e.g. 'I recently went to a supermarket, think Sainsbury's" or " my husband has a professional job, out of the house 8-6, think office worker" - I mean if its that close a match, you might as well just say the darned thing!!

"Who is she, the cat's mother?" I know the context in which you would say it, but I don't understand why I would even know my cat's mother's name in the first place

The over use of 'perfect' ie
'Can I take your order?'
'Yes-please can I have a latte and a millionaires shortbread?'
'Perfect! I'll just bring those over'

I wonder what I could order that would be less than Perfect then? I don't need my order judged and deemed 'perfect'.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I got into a spot of bother on another post for not knowing that Nanny was grandmother, as opposed to a paid employee. I had never heard it used in that context before, and indeed, once I had, I could only think of a nanny goat!

The phrase 'you do you'

Also 'give your head a wobble ' and 'knock yourself out'.

Starting a sentence with 'so' is annoying but also once you hear it often enough very easy to start doing it yourself.

Girlfriend when meaning a female friend- as in I'm going for lunch with my girlfriends. <Teeth itches >

I blame Craig David and his frequent visits to retro hi-fi spare parts shops across the country, in a desperate attempt to repair his trusty old cassette player:

"Can I get a reeeeewind!"

<gets coat>

So few people seem to agree, so thank you

I am guilty of using some of these but usually in a facetious way with friends who dislike them as much as I do.

One I can't bear is 'smellies' to describe bath things. Surely if something is smelly it's unpleasant by implication?