Ridiculous/annoying phrases that wind you up/make no sense

[MakeMineAdoubleChocolate]

I will start.

-Hate cigarettes being called fags.

-The London term, bare, referring to lots, but in reality means nothing, like bare minimum. So when they say there were BARE people at the museum, do they mean none or naked!

-Allow it fam! Another London term, where people will say that when they want something to stop. But 'allow it' surely means let it continue, haha.

-Beggars belief/isn't it meant to be it begs belief?.... someone correct me if I am wrong? ....

-boils my p#*s. Makes me feel sick thinking of a pot of urine on the stove being boiled.

-chest of draws/ chester draws. Its bloody drawers!

-the classic 'i brought it from the shop'

-my mother used to shout out Pure Filth in her Irish accent, if the house wasn't tidy. It wasn't even that bad, but she hated mess and if there was an empty glass on the table and a magazine left on the floor or a crisp wrapper, she would call the house a mess and that we (US SIBLINGS) were happy to live in PURE FILTH. Bearing in mind, the two don't exactly go together. 'LOOK AT THIS PURE FILTH! GOD FORGIVE YE!'

-Men referring to each other as Bruv. I don't mind bro, mind you.

'Caught pregnant'

🤣🤣

This!

Oh, and 'making memories'

What is the obsession with everything being 'snatched' - saw someone online describe their nose as being snatched!

So agree! Equally, "needs gone". Firstly, it's an inanimate object, so it has neither wants nor needs, and secondly, exactly as you said, it sounds like the advertiser is saying "this tat is too shit for me but I want someone else to take it".

Even if the tat was something I wanted, I don't buy from sellers that use those phrases.

saw someone online describe their nose as being snatched!

Does that have a 'modern' second meaning? How can somebody grab your nose when you aren't looking and then run off with it?!

@MoralOrLegal interesting. I didn't know that.

@Zimunya Yeah absolutely! Also 'Need gone ASAP.' Alright wind your neck in, you getting rid of your shit is less important to everyone else than to you so perhaps take the time to write a little description.

‘Wind your neck in’.

Boils my piss, are you on glue and give your head a wobble - never heard anywhere other than on MN.

you haven't had much contact with the military, have you? That is one of the many many stock phrases

I also don't mind most corporate speak, it's jargon and as such the meaning is so much more than the actual words used.

'Gotten' didn't die out everywhere in Britain. It was retained in some dialects. I think people sometimes forget that.

'Gotten' didn't die out everywhere in Britain. It was retained in some dialects. I think people sometimes forget that.

The same as when people are assumed to be Americans if they refer to their mother as 'Mom' - even though millions of people in Britain have always called their mums that.

Plenty of folk arrogantly assume that the dialect/usage in the South-East is 'standard' English; and then any variation from this must therefore be invalid or misguided. Just see the bewilderment and often assumed low-intelligence whenever somebody from the North or Midlands mentions having their dinner in the middle of the day.

I know quite a few people (including DH and most of his family) who frequently start a discussion with 'Did I tell you?/Oh, I don't think I told you, did I?'/I haven't told you, have I?' or similar. Followed by a gap for some reaction from whoever they are speaking to. What is the point of this? Unless they say in the same phrase whatever they think they may or may not have told me, how am I supposed to answer? The information is almost always fairly mundane when they do eventually tell me so it always feels like the 'Did I tell you?' part is said to make me stop whatever I am doing and give them my undivided attention. As an example 'I haven't told you have I?' [long pause whilst I stop, listen and look sufficiently interested]. 'My neighbour's Dad's friend bought a new car'.

Although British, I didn't grow up in the UK, so am unaware of many regional dialects and usages. However, in our house "dinner" was always the main meal - usually taken at night for the sake of convenience, as that's when parents had time to cook. The Oxford dictionary suggests the same - "noun. /ˈdɪnə(r)/ /ˈdɪnər/ Idioms. [uncountable, countable] the main meal of the day, eaten either in the middle of the day or in the evening." So your use of the word seems entirely appropriate!

I must admit I was initially confused about "tea" - thinking people were referring to a hot drink, not an actual meal. But now I know better!

Putting the d before h on Mumsnet when he is far from dear to you.

In fact putting the d before any noun relating to a person on this site.
Very confusing when someone is writing of their dGP.
And initially I'm thinking that's a little bit off, speaking so fondly of your doctor. Of course reading on it transpires it's dear grandparents. 🙄
Or DM and it's not the hated on here Daily Mail---- but your mother you are writing about.

"Glow up". I can't explain why this phrase winds me up so much, but it annoys me in the way the old-fashioned "makeover" never did.

Politician's all say 'look' in that annoyingly smug way, too.

I bloody hate that.

I call that 'verbal cotton wool'. It's unnecessary filler, but it's almost reflexive. My mother law frequently says 'in actual fact', about everything.

As though, some of the time she's deliberately telling porkie pies.

When I was young (Scotland) we called the midday meal dinner as it was our main meal of the day. Then we'd have a smaller cooked meal at about t.30 that we called tea.
We never ever used the word lunch. That was thought to be terribly posh 🤣

@RaraRachael - having a grin at "lunch" being terribly posh 😀

‘You guys’ as uttered by some perky young waiter/waitress to a mixed sex group of over 50s.

I don't like "and the rest is history"
I met dh at the fete and the rest is history.

Date night. It’s just night out with your partner….🥱

That gets on my last nerve, too.