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Original poster

Do you still trust the police?

380 replies

Soubriquet · 12/08/2023 18:38

When I got with my dh 11 years ago, he would laugh when I said I trusted the police. That they were someone in a position of power, who I felt I could trust. He never tried to sway me, just said, ok..you’ll see.

Now…I don’t. After everything they has happened over the last few years..Rotherham, Wayne Couzens, the girl with autism and other shit like that, I do not trust them at all.

OP posts:
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6
Beachwaves127 · 12/08/2023 21:34

Nope! I’m 32 and was the same as you I trusted them. Until the last year I’ve done a U turn. No no and no.

PurpleBugz · 12/08/2023 21:36

They are fucking useless.

My abusive ex broke into my house trashed it and stole the kids artwork I had framed and some pictures. The police came said nothing of value was stole so they would be doing nothing wouldn't even come out. - week later my white middle class live in a nice area parents had a break in and they had the 2 officers come drink tea for a couple hours dust for prints and all sorts. (I live in a not good area).

Fast forward a few months and my ex violently snatched my child out of my arms as handover (court ordered) and dragged her off roughly by her arm as she screamed in distress and pain. Public place with CCTV. Again they wouldn't do anything as it was his court ordered time when I said look at the CCTV will show him hurting her they would not.

I've reported a rape. Female police officer was very nice took a written statement but then got back to me saying they wouldn't be taking it forward. (I had evidence- texts from him where he admitted what he did and blamed me)

I met a women who's abusive ex was police. What he was like was horrific. And apparently higher proportion of police commit DV than the general public. It attracts a certain type of person jobs with power like that.

In my 20s I've been sat waiting to pick someone up in my car in town centre with drunks claiming all over the car, the police literally accross the road stood chatting and did nothing. I could see them but was too scared to open the window/door to ask for help.

I've been stopped in a random stop and search car thing. They took one look at me (white woman) and waved me on without checking my car. I assume had I not been white they would have not waved me on.

They are sexist and racist. I'm sure people must join who care and want to change things but they are loosing the battle and have been for a while because they are outnumbered massively by the bad ones. In my opinion

BrindleAbyssinianGuinea · 12/08/2023 21:40

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 12/08/2023 21:29

No, I don't, a couple of experiences where they've been less than great and I was on my own, at night, and then v recently Women Won't Wheesht in Aberdeen and their handling of that.
I attend those events and thought they'd do something if an assault occurred, but it's been handled horribly.

Flowers. I think they very anti woman and all this wokeness hasn't helped.

LuluBlakey1 · 12/08/2023 21:41

Trust them how?

Would I let a lone male police officer into my house if I was alone? No. Would I get in a car with one ? No
Would I report an incident to them and expect them to turn up? I'd ring 999 but would expect no response to that call or no response for hours- by which time it would more than likely be over.
I certainly don't expect them to investigate any crime where they can't do it online or over the phone. And that reflects my experience of them over the last 3 years both at work and at home.
I don't think any female can feel safe with male police officers, particularly in London.

However, I know of police officers who are decent people who feel they can't do the job people want them to do because they spend huge amounts of their time-dealing with:
a) people with mental health problems who have gone missing or gone off threatening harm and have to be prioritised.
b) vulnerable people - teenagers who are out somewhere drinking/taking drugs, elderly people with dementia who have got lost, alcoholics, druggies, causing scenes, people who ring 999 all the time- again they are prioritised as usually vulnerable.
c) women who sully call because of domestic violence/threats etc and then after the situation has taken ages to sort out, won't pursue charges yet expect continued police support the next week/week after.
d) anti-social behaviour by teenagers/repeat offenders- usually drunk or on drugs, in groups causing vandalism, destroying property, stealing, threatening people. Parents could not care less. If they are taken home, they are straight back out.

I work with the police in my job- with community teams re:anti-social behaviour by teenagers. It's shocking what they face and how limited their powers are.

quietnightmare · 12/08/2023 21:42

@Underthelightofthefullmoon
😘

Summerwashout · 12/08/2023 21:45

No

BrindleAbyssinianGuinea · 12/08/2023 21:49

LuluBlakey1 · 12/08/2023 21:41

Trust them how?

Would I let a lone male police officer into my house if I was alone? No. Would I get in a car with one ? No
Would I report an incident to them and expect them to turn up? I'd ring 999 but would expect no response to that call or no response for hours- by which time it would more than likely be over.
I certainly don't expect them to investigate any crime where they can't do it online or over the phone. And that reflects my experience of them over the last 3 years both at work and at home.
I don't think any female can feel safe with male police officers, particularly in London.

However, I know of police officers who are decent people who feel they can't do the job people want them to do because they spend huge amounts of their time-dealing with:
a) people with mental health problems who have gone missing or gone off threatening harm and have to be prioritised.
b) vulnerable people - teenagers who are out somewhere drinking/taking drugs, elderly people with dementia who have got lost, alcoholics, druggies, causing scenes, people who ring 999 all the time- again they are prioritised as usually vulnerable.
c) women who sully call because of domestic violence/threats etc and then after the situation has taken ages to sort out, won't pursue charges yet expect continued police support the next week/week after.
d) anti-social behaviour by teenagers/repeat offenders- usually drunk or on drugs, in groups causing vandalism, destroying property, stealing, threatening people. Parents could not care less. If they are taken home, they are straight back out.

I work with the police in my job- with community teams re:anti-social behaviour by teenagers. It's shocking what they face and how limited their powers are.

I can see what you saying but I have been in categories a b and c. Reagrding, A and b I didn't become sick for fun. and C, I was so scared of him. I wanted to ask for help but at same time they would suck me in and I couldn't follow through with charges. I get it must be frustrating but it isn't that simple to break away from DV.

crostini · 12/08/2023 21:52

I teach my daughters to not trust them. I tell them, if they're in danger, find a woman, preferably a mother. And stay away from male police officers.

newnamethanks · 12/08/2023 21:52

I don't. My reaction now, after so many miscarriages of justice and simple screw ups that have then become cover ups, is to distrust any initial explanation they offer for anything where they may be at fault. They lie. They lie a lot and it is policy to do so to protect both officers and the institution. And 'one bad apple' does destroy the whole barrowfull unless it's removed. If it's left, the rot spreads. That's how it goes. Another failing institution.

Catwiththecream · 12/08/2023 21:54

Horrible thread to start, mumsnet is becoming LBC radio where you have to all conform to the same views and everyone is so miserable about political issues all the time.

XenoBitch · 12/08/2023 21:58

In general, I trust them. I have had a lot of dealings with them over the years due to my own mental health, and also the mental health of people close to me. 99% of them have been amazing. You get bad apples in all professions. I have had more negative dealings with nurses (who are meant to be untouchable angels) than I have the police.

Elizadoloads · 12/08/2023 21:59

No, Wish I could but no.

LuluBlakey1 · 12/08/2023 21:59

BrindleAbyssinianGuinea · 12/08/2023 21:49

I can see what you saying but I have been in categories a b and c. Reagrding, A and b I didn't become sick for fun. and C, I was so scared of him. I wanted to ask for help but at same time they would suck me in and I couldn't follow through with charges. I get it must be frustrating but it isn't that simple to break away from DV.

Show quote history

Quite- but it is not the job of the police to deal with everything that goes with it. There are better ways to deal with it. Leave the police to deal with the offender and offence.The rest should be dealt with by other professionals.

BrindleAbyssinianGuinea · 12/08/2023 22:00

LuluBlakey1 · 12/08/2023 21:59

Quite- but it is not the job of the police to deal with everything that goes with it. There are better ways to deal with it. Leave the police to deal with the offender and offence.The rest should be dealt with by other professionals.

Show quote history

I think you have a point there

onefinemess · 12/08/2023 22:02

BrindleAbyssinianGuinea · 12/08/2023 19:00

No. They haven't the training to deal with someone who is creating a disturbance not because they a criminal but because they are mentally unwell

They're NOT medically trained.

Would you expect a mental health professional to arrest a violent drug dealer?

🙄

fortnumsfinest · 12/08/2023 22:03

Absolutely not.
Having been married to a police officer ive seen first hand they are strangers to the truth

BrindleAbyssinianGuinea · 12/08/2023 22:07

onefinemess · 12/08/2023 22:02

They're NOT medically trained.

Would you expect a mental health professional to arrest a violent drug dealer?

🙄

Show quote history

But what I mean is, if someone with servers MH issues is breaking down in front of them I expect the police to handle them kindly and gently not to detain them in a police station for ages. Shouldn't be treated any differently to those without capacity/those with learning disabilities.

WhateverMate · 12/08/2023 22:08

Years ago yes, nowadays absolutely not.

Would I call them if I desperately needed them? Yes, but I'd cross my fingers tightly.

Underthelightofthefullmoon · 12/08/2023 22:12

fortnumsfinest · 12/08/2023 22:03

Absolutely not.
Having been married to a police officer ive seen first hand they are strangers to the truth

My experience too. Mine ended up in prison for DV. I hope he's changed, but I doubt it.

Over the years I came across so many officers who were sexist, racist liars, plus, for the sake of balance, a couple who were nice enough. So many of the men used their job at a way of gaining access to women for affairs, very depressing.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 12/08/2023 22:14

Nope. A crime was committed against me in October 2022. I reported it and was told I'd have a response within 28 days, then 6 weeks, 8 weeks. Blah blah blah. To this day, I have not heard a dickie bird.

I have no intention of supporting the police in any capacity. When I needed help, I was ignored. I can't trust someone that has shown me time and again that they're inept.

BigBadaBoom · 12/08/2023 22:28

I wish I did, but I've been let down by the police when someone ran into my parked car. They knew who did it (an officer admitted it to me, it was apparently the son of a local businessman), but they wouldn't persue it and I never got a proper explanation why they let it go. Also I knew a former copper and he was a really dodgy bloke who couldn't tell the truth if he wanted to.

XenoBitch · 12/08/2023 22:31

BrindleAbyssinianGuinea · 12/08/2023 22:07

But what I mean is, if someone with servers MH issues is breaking down in front of them I expect the police to handle them kindly and gently not to detain them in a police station for ages. Shouldn't be treated any differently to those without capacity/those with learning disabilities.

Show quote history

It all depends. If the person having a breakdown was violent, hurt someone, or was carrying a weapon, then the course of action would be to detain (and even arrest) then sort out if there was a crime afterwards.

They can't just go "oh, this person has MH issues so we have to let them go/take them to hospital". Sometimes someone unwell is perceived as committing a crime.

theresnolimits · 12/08/2023 22:32

Nope. After my house was burgled and vandalised last year and the Met treated me appallingly and with contempt, I wouldn’t even bother to report a crime in future.

RocketIceLollie · 12/08/2023 22:33

To the question at hand, yes definitely. Every workplace has a few bad eggs. They have a very tough job to do especially in this day and age of people recording their every call out on phones and the general anti authority that is around today.

dramoy · 12/08/2023 22:41

Depends doesn't it. Trust them not to be racist, sexist, cover things up? no. However if I was being chased by a murderer etc yes I would call them.