What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

That my daughter being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes aged 2 meant that 'she must have had too many sweets'.

Morning After Pill

Paddington Bear was found at Waterloo Station.

Clue's in the name....

What does seafood have to do with the MAP?

Or is that the point!

Because we were going on holiday. I said I wanted one last time of being worry free.

Just remembered another work place comment. I am blind in one eye, I explained to my supervisor that I couldn't see some text she'd printed out and asked for a larger copy, her response... Have you actually bothered to try using glasses?

Erm No! Last time I checked glasses dont cure blindness.

The backstory is that I was always told, at my hometown comp, that I would never be able to go to university. When I left to go to a grammar school in the next town it put a lot of people's noses out of joint because they still felt for some reason that I didn't deserve to succeed academically and shouldn't try. When I did well at grammar school and went to university, I unfortunately had to come back to my home town and spend the short vacations (which were supposed to be used for reading) working in retail. I was afraid that the same teachers and supposedly bright students who had looked down on me would all see me mopping floors in a petrol station shop and gloat at how right they had been to see me as a failure. Several pps on the thread have recounted how they were treated like crap by customers while doing retail work, so this is a thing. It doesn't mean that they are snobs, just that they don't appreciate being treated like crap.

That is hilarious! The person who told her that wasn’t entirely wrong either, were they?

Well done!

At a university hosted - masters party in London. We were all in our 30es for the context and either married or in long-term relationships. My colleague came to me and whispered in my ear: “I bet you scream when you have sex.” He was a father of one, his wife was pregnant, and he held a decent/senior job in the City.

I'm sorry for your loss and that your neighbour could be so unbelievably rude

I was attacked in broad daylight by a couple of lads as a teenager (thankfully not raped but had my shirt ripped open) and when I was returned home by the police, the FEMALE officer turned to me at the top of the stairs and said 'Don't worry, x, you weren't provocatively dressed'. I've never told anyone that. Shocking.

Chatting to another mum at primary school she said that dinosaurs are fairy tale creatures, just like unicorns and dragons.

When I was 21, over 30 yeas ago now, my boyfriend that I had recently finished with punched me in the face. A female officer came to interview me. When I told her what had happened - that I had my male friend in my room when my ex boyfriend came round uninvited - she said "to be honest, if I was him, I probably would have hit you too".

Also, in the Sixth Form in 1987, we girls were told not to wear anything too tight or revealing as it wasn't fair on the male members of staff.

'Your husband must make a lot of money for you to work so little!' my coworker said to me. My child was severely medically fragile and I only worked two weekends a month as an RN because the rest of my time was spent taking my kid to doctors and physiotherapy and his therapeutic nursery about 12 hours a week and then I was cleaning my house,running errands and had a fraction of time to myself but hey I was a lady of leisure

I work in a large well known department store. An agency is used to employ cleaning staff so there's often a new person doing that work. Im always friendly and say hello even if it's often the case that they speak another language ( a smile means alot).
The current guy is smiley back .
The other day I could see him approaching me with a look as though he wanted to say something to me.

I put down what I was working on and asked how I could help?...this is what he said (in a deep Jamaican accent)
" what is the secret to your beauty? "

Now you are thinking, Why is this a Ridiculous thing to say, .. surely its a compliment ..

It's a Ridiculous thing to say because he is about 20yrs younger than me ! Hip, trendy & Cool.
I'm perfectly happy being plain, frumpy and mumsey.

So how silly of him, because I avoid him now

The vegetarians who eat chicken and/or fish always remind me of Jack Dee who said in response to that type of person "oh well I'm basically a vegetarian cause I don't eat human flesh".

A manager in British Gas thought that reindeer were mythical creatures and when we finally showed her pictures, someone offered to take her to some wildlife place to see them. The response? "But it's summer, won't they be hibernating?"

We had a customer who used to come to the office with his conjoined twins, adorable little girls but with a very sad prognosis. (He was a lone parent and had been in an amazing job before the girls were born, then he gave it up to look after the girls and ended up coming to the UK from Africa in order to get the girls treatment. He is an amazing guy with a fantastic outlook on life). Anyway, we'd all recognise him and the girls, and have a chat. One of my colleagues asked if the girls were twins.

You cant become an alcoholic by drinking beer.

Reminds me of the time I asked where Pirates of the Caribbean was set... I'll never live that one down 😣

I have boy / girl twins. When they were little I was asked almost every time I went out if they were identical.

On hearing I had a miscarriage: 'maybe just adopt??' That one still floors me.

A friend of friends last week when someone admitted they didn't know where a specific town was: 'I'm the same, sure I didn't know Africa wasn't one country til I was in my 30s' . She wasnt joking.

@NuffSaidSam yes! I went to Maui years ago, and there were beautiful rainbows every day!

😂😂

A social worker stated my autistic son was not autistic and instead likely had OCD. Obviously he knew more than the team of diagnostic specialists.

He's still autistic now 20 years later.

Started a new job, everyone friendly. Was introduced as and prefer to be called Victoria. Everyone referred to me and called me Victoria … except Richard. Every morning (I used to get in early as did he) I’d say morning Richard, he’d reply morning Vicky. Every day I’d correct/remind him that my name is Victoria. One day, however, after he called me Vicky, I replied if you call me Vicky, I will call you Dick. He never called me Vicky again 😂