What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

My ex tenant sent me a text late one Sunday night, (panicking me as I assumed it must be an emergency) asking if I could re carpet the flat in a darker colour as he was working on a farm and his muddy boots were leaving marks on the beige carpet.

Someone I know sucked their thumb so badly as a baby, they sucked it right down to the actual bone. This story has been told a biliionty times at every party, bbq or other social gathering to anyone who'll listen by this persons relatives.

This persons thumb is a perfectly normal, fully formed thumb complete with all its healthy flesh and nail. No sign it has ever been taken right down to the bone.

Someone relatively new to the group did once point this out, asking how it all grew back if it was taken down to just bare bone. But that went completely ignored and unanswered.

The story of the legendery sucked-off thumb continues!

The fact its not possible to suck away flesh down to the bone, and then for that flesh to grow back into an absolutely normal thumb is irrelevant to them.

You'd expect aswell, with such vigorous sucking that had such an impact as to take flesh down to the bone, that this person would have some teeth and jaw issues too. But no, all is normal there too. And again, totally irrelevant to this ridiculous story forever doing the rounds.

Get a job

About 3 weeks after my mom died, my neighbour lost her dad. Another neighbour decided to compare the two bereavements and commented to her, in my presence, ''Oh, that must have been much worse."

That you can be cured of your alcoholism after 30/100 days.

You don't look like a drinker. (Well give me the bottles and I will show you what one looks like!)

Having been AF for 19 months it's surprising how many people offer a cheeky drink. You wouldn't offer an ex drug addict a quick snort would you?

That Trans doesn't exist. 😂😂😂

Work in retail, a customer asked me if I worked there, I was in full uniform & name badge with logo, felt like saying ‘no I dress up for fun in different work uniforms’ but in the end just said ‘yes’ another one was a BOGOF on something, told the customer of the offer they refused saying they didn’t want the free item, I even offered to get it for them (was in a basket behind them)

Which did you choose?

felt like saying ‘no I dress up for fun in different work uniforms’

Thanks for giving me my first proper chuckle today 😅

A sad one. A pastor at our church when I was distraught because my husband had cheated.

"Well, you decided to save up to have a baby. If you hadn't waited and just had a baby after you got married, he wouldn't have cheated."

A lady, on hearing that I have 4 boys, said "oh, you must like boys then!?"

9 weeks after I had a massive heart surgery my nurse friend offered me a “line” because apparently I was all fixed now….. I didn’t do “lines” before the heart surgery so I don’t know why she’d think I’d do them after 😳

ExDP

"But if ds stays at mine for a night when will I go out?"

"Errr - one of the other 29 days in the month?"

When I mention my family, an astounding number of people ask if my twin brother and I are identical twins (I’m a woman).

Absolutely love this

Colleague - 'when's Easter this year?'

Reader - he asked in September.

(Looking out the window of the taxi abroad at a km speed limit sign) Isn’t it mad that cars in other countries are allowed to drive so much faster than us

Worryingly bad if the brexit comment is true. Such a close margin and comments like this worry me. It’s the next generation that will suffer more than now. Such irresponsible voting.

And a vote 🗳

DH said the leaves start to fall in autumn because the clocks have gone back.
He also said a rainbow we saw would defo be visible all over the U.K.
He went to Oxford. For a degree, not a day trip.

Jealous friend that I was not eating enough. Total crp .. she was fat and me slim
I did so much for this woman .. and I don’t regret that at all but it was like a sucker punch .. she wasn’t concerned .. and her source of knowing I don’t eat enough … get this .. she’s a psychic medium and a relative told her this
needless to say I finished the friendship .. weird sht and jealousy

I have asked my own stupid question. Years ago, writing a cheque to pay DM for something and asked what the date was. She leaned close and whispered, 'It's your birthday today, remember?'

Oh yeah. It was.

There probably others.

to add to MILs batshit comments she told me it was physically impossible to sneeze more than 3 times and I must go to hospital immediately (I’d sneezed 4 times).

SIL is obsessed with food allergies and self diagnoses her children as having them. At one point one of them had a ‘severe dairy allergy’ so she made a huge fuss in restaurants about ordering main meals. She then would order them ice cream for pudding as they were ‘fine with that’.

DH was very poorly in hospital and neighbour seemed utterly stunned I was going to visit him more than once (she was trying to dump her kids on me though).

There ARE probably others.

My sister lost her 3.5 month old baby to "cot death". My cousin said to me oh she's lucky he wasn't older and had a personality, that would be much worse." I couldn't even reply.