What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

In a similar vein to this. I used to work with a woman that was 4 or 5 years older than me. (I will call her Cath.) I had worked with her since I was 28 and she was 32-33. (So I'd worked with her for a couple of years.) To be honest with you, she wasn't particularly very physically attractive. Really, I barely would describe her as 3 out of 10, short mousy curly hair, big glasses, gangly build, and a 'runner's face.'

Sounds bitchy I know but I can't think of any other way to put it. AND she had a horrible personality too. Very spiteful towards other women and catty towards me. She was really quite jealous that the more attractive women in the office - even 15 to 20 years older than her - got a lot of attention from the men, and she got nothing.

Anyway, I hit 30, and she told me I now have to have my hair short. (It was about 6 inches below my shoulders.) I laughed and said 'what? why?' 😆 Well, women over 30 shouldn't have long hair. It looks terrible. Mutton dressed as lamb. Looks like you're trying to act young!' I said 'but I am young! I'm only 30!' She said 'no. you're not. You're practically middle aged...' 😑

Stupid woman. '30 is too old to have long hair' my arse! For the record, I am now 2 decades older than then, and I've still got long hair - 6 inches below my shoulders - and it's fucking well staying that way!

BTW, this woman mocked and derided a 21 y.o young woman at work too, for having a big 2 ft teddy from her boyfriend for her birthday. 'How pathetic, you're not a child!' she said! The poor lass went into the toilets and burst out crying. Unsurprisingly this woman 'Cath' has rarely been in any relationships, and has never kept a man for longer than 5 minutes. Not surprising really. No-one wants a vile toxic jealous bitch for a partner.

Some people are really too stupid to function. It makes me wonder how they get through a week, or even a day, or even an hour. I remember when I had a part time job at a popular fast food restaurant doing admin. It was 22 hours a week. Cashing up tills and ordering stationary and stock and stuff, and processing time sheets etc.

Every single day I got one of the 'public facing' workers saying, oh, it's alright for you, isn't it just working your 24 hours and fucking off at 3pm? (I worked 9.00am to 3pm 4 days a week.)

These were always 17 year olds to 24 year olds who still live with their mom and dad, had no boyfriend or girlfriend, no mortgage, no rent, no bills, no responsibilities (financial or otherwise) at all.

I had a husband, a home, children mortgage, elderly relatives to care for, shopping to do, ironing to do, lots of household admin - and yes looking after my kids in my home ... They actually assumed I just came in did my 5 and a half hours a day over four days, and then just went home and sat on the Playstation, watched a box set marathon on telly, and then got pissed upon a bottle of wine, and got up at midday the next day (like they did!)

Called me a lazy fucker as I left at 3pm after being there 6 hours when they haven't even got there till 2pm .... AND I had hours of household and family duties when I got home, including looking after small children! Thick as pig shit some people.

Reposting the link I posted above. Yes, they can. It’s rare but does happen.

https://www.twins.org.au/twins-and-families/frequently-asked-questions/62-twin-facts/19-can-male-female-twins-ever-be-identical

Someone insisting Australia was one of the American states. Not sure if they were feigning ignorance or not.

@Herewegoagain2023 maybe they'd heard the Australian joke that we're the 51st state and took it literally! 😄

@Yellownotblue Thanks for the link.

Bizarre, though - they aren't identical, obviously. Monozygotic, but distinctly not "the same in every way"!

@GarlicGrace obviously. But surely the same can be said of identical twins? I have a friend who’s an identical twin. He’s gay, his brother isn’t. ITs don’t always develop the same diseases, they don’t think the same thoughts, they don’t necessarily choose the same jobs or live the same lives. So in a way they are never fully identical?

"Safe and Effective"
"Three weeks to flatten the curve"
"Transwomen are women"

Reminds me of the woman I encountered in Edinburgh twenty years ago, who was sure I must be from the Black Isle because I had fair skin and black hair and pronounced McIver correctly. Had to let her down gently - the hair was bottle black and I pronounced McIver the only way I'd ever heard it, on Hamish MacBeth. (My obvious Australian accent apparently hadn't registered.) 😄

@GarlicGrace
Identical twins are not necessarily the same in every way, they can even look different. Yeah they'll be similar looking but they can have some obviously different features that make them easy to tell apart.

They don’t just want us for food 😊 One of mine was purring and snoozing on my lap in the sunshine this afternoon!

That’s an abnormality - one male twin and one female twin with Turner’s syndrome, a genetic disorder which causes health issues. It isn’t normal twin development.

We girls in 3rd form were told the old classic
'Do not wear patent shoes as boys can see your underwear in them.'
I asked why the.boys weren't t being told not to look and got a lunchtime detention.

So do you remove the wart first before you sell it to the gypsy ? Or not?

Another from the Head Teacher I worked for some years ago……

On talking about results. ‘I want everyone above average’

This could, of course, mean several different things. From the rest of the conversation she meant it in the mathematical impossible way.

"Socialism works"

That reminds me (indirectly) of a time when a friend was buying a house. Her budget was around £500 k. We had coffee with a mutual friend who is known to be very boasty about how much money she has and likes to show off a bit and mutual friend trilled; 'Oh why don't you look at .. [insert name of local manor house up for sale for £2.5 million] ... I took a look and thought it would be a quaint little project for you..'

A stupid thing to say yes but actually done with the aim in mind to point out how much more well off she is than us.

Awwwwwwwww they are Lovley creature's

MIL in law used to tell us we needed to visit them rather than the other way home because the journey was shorter when you are ‘driving home’.
DH tried to tell her that it would be the same for her returning home but apparently that was different.

Also she declared that she had met someone who told her it was only an hour between our houses (it’s 5, she’s done it many times) and then started telling us we could pop up anytime as ‘it’s only an hour’.

@JusthereforXmas · I'm sorry you lost your mam. I was a single parent for most of my daughter's childhood (from age 4) and I know the bond is exceptionally strong under those circumstances. 💐

I have had this with 1 specific estate agent... its funny how they know better than me about what I want/need.

Apparently I NEED a mortgage to double my budget (insisting its impossible to get a house for our budget, we have seen 7 with their rival estate agent though) and apparently I ACTUALLY want a very expensive 3 bed on the street I currently live on because I clearly know nothing about the area, size of the houses (I live in one of them and they are all identical copies) or house prices.

They also slagged of the house we do want telling us how wrong it is for us because its 'tiny' (its a 5 bedroom townhouse bigger than the 3 bed they are pushing) and in an 'awful area no one would want to live in' (the center of town next to our school, church and work... the perfect area WE actively sort out).

They told us this about the house 'we shouldn't want' despite not actually KNOWING what house we are buying as its not through them and they only know its location is 'in town'.

This is actually true, it's generally referred to as golden blood and happens to 1 in 6 million people. Rh-null comes with some symptoms normally diagnosed as anaemia and is generally found in communities that still practice consanguinity as it's inherited recessively. (Shahverdi et al, 2018)

I’ve just remembered my favourite one! 😀

This young woman and her boyfriend were sat in front of me on the bus and were sharing a bag of Haribo. He points at the label on the front and says “Ooh, now free of artificial colours” in a false excitement tone.

She says, “Hmph - there’s no such thing as artificial colours anyway”. He asks what she’s on about and she replies “Well, if they were artificial, they couldn’t make them could they? You can’t make a colour that doesn’t exist”.

I’m trying to work out if she’s joking and he says “Yeeeess… they make them artificially”. She keeps saying “But they couldn’t make them if they were artificially, could they? How would they make them? If you can make them, they’re not artificial, they’re real”.

By the end of the journey I was ready to nominate him for canonisation.

I'm from an Eastern European country, I worked in Bermuda as a waitress for a couple of years in my mid twenties.
Customer: "how long have you been here in Bermuda?"
Me: "Oh, just 3 months"
Customer: "wow, your English is so good for 3 months"
Me: "Sir, I needed English at fluent level to get the job"
Customer:"......... Oh...."

Also, one of my first jobs in the UK, a co-worker asked me if we live in houses in my home country or in huts.

Not everyone believed it, some of us voted to remain

My friend when holding newborn DD commented how ‘strange it was holding a full term baby as her DD was very premature and small’ and my DD was huge compared to hers.

My DD was born at bang on 40weeks and 6lb.
Her DD was born at 39 weeks and almost 8lb.
Her DD is now a teenager and she still mentions that she was premature and how great it is she keeps up with her classmates despite being premature.