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Jo Frost (Super Nanny)

200 replies

Ifyouwantmeillbeinthebar · 10/08/2023 12:51

I’ve become addicted to watching reruns of Super Nanny UK with Jo Frost.

God, she did hand out some awful advice didn’t she?! However it’s interesting how parenting and discipline has evolved over the last 20 years.

There are so many episodes where behavioural issues and additional needs were just put down to bad behaviour, it was quite sad really.

I’ve just watched one where mum and dad had 3 girls, Megan, Erin and Gabriella and it was quite shocking, the eldest (9) had so much anger and was biting and hitting everyone including Jo. I felt so sad for her, she seemed so sad, angry and frustrated.

I was so invested that I googled the girls and where there were now. Interestingly the eldest said that none of it was scripted and the production team were really nice but the whole programme was filmed over 8 weeks and there was lot of changes to their routine to fit in with filming, meals and bedtime different to what they were used to, they couldn’t wear what they would normally wear as no brands were to be shown and not friends or family could visit because they weren’t allowed to be involved in filming and she said it really aggravated her and her sisters behaviour. She also said there was really any change after Jo left and they just behaved better as they matured like most kids.

I found it all really interesting.

Has anyone else got any episodes, UK, version that stand out and what was your opinion on the discipline and methods Super Nanny used.

OP posts:
Jamtartforme · 10/08/2023 22:39

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 10/08/2023 22:34

Not with Gen Z though. I think they are going to change the nature of the workplace. And good for them. One shitty low paid job is the same as any other. Why should they kill themsrlves?

You think nobody will have to follow instructions they don’t like at work? And that every job will be well paid?

Macaroni46 · 10/08/2023 22:42

Willmafrockfit · 10/08/2023 20:36

my dc never did a poo at school
saved it til they got home

Same for mine but as a primary teacher I can assure you that many children do poo at school.

LetMeEnfoldYou · 10/08/2023 23:33

Weren't Millennials supposed to change the nature of the workplace? And as it turns out...guess what, we all still work at the whim of rich dudes. Gen Z won't change anything either. It's a nice new stream of LinkedIn content though I guess.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

francesthebadger · 11/08/2023 02:54

WhiskersPete · 10/08/2023 13:51

@francesthebadger

What about if they need blood transfusions or emergency surgery? Are you against that sort of medical science too?

On the contrary. Actually, I'm both a scientist and a teacher.

Nobody said these conditions don't exist. I have seen them and they are real and genuine. However, I have also seen them used as an excuse for poor behaviour resulting from a lack of boundaries and poor parenting.

I would reply but your earlier message appears to have been deleted as disability hate speech.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 11/08/2023 07:35

One thing I think she was good at was letting the Dads know that they were just as responsible for parenting as the mum. That was news for some of them.

Also sticker charts. My DC love a sticker chart.

But yes, one size doesn't fit all. Little angels was better because Tanya didn't create a vacuum - she only observed.

littleripper · 11/08/2023 07:41

CatandSpoon · 10/08/2023 13:22

The one that I still remember is an early UK one. There was one little girl of about 5 and her parents were older. Her mum was quite a tall broad woman who said she always felt unattractive. The father was the only one who loved the mum. The mum didn't love or even like the little girl, the dad was trying to act as a go-between.
I remember they promised her 10p or something to be good and this little girl was so good the dad gave her a pound. Which Jo said was a bad idea because the boundary was skewed.
I remember a shot of the mum sitting on the kerb crying and the dad putting his arm around her while the little girl was neglected again.

Does anyone remember that one? I'd like to see if the little girl is ok, my heart broke for her

I think this is Bad Behaviour with Warwick Dyer. He only made a few as he realised how terrible the cameras were for the kids/families. Warwick is a remarkable man, I know many on MN will hate his methods but for traumatised or ND children who are utterly out of control he is a solution, it works. It is a sad way to live but it works.

Harrythehappypig · 11/08/2023 08:55

LetMeEnfoldYou · 10/08/2023 23:33

Weren't Millennials supposed to change the nature of the workplace? And as it turns out...guess what, we all still work at the whim of rich dudes. Gen Z won't change anything either. It's a nice new stream of LinkedIn content though I guess.

All the Gen Z kids I know seems to want to be minted corporate lawyers, eyeing £60 moisturiser on the Space NK website and asking for lifts everywhere while screaming for “bug spray” at the sight of a fruit fly. Meanwhile DH and I worry about the environment and as a teenager I was a vegetarian on animal welfare grounds so I’m not seeing this amazing new generational shift.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/08/2023 09:07

theyareonlynoodlesmichael · 10/08/2023 13:27

I might be thinking of a different show but I do remember one where the girl was clearly neurodiverse and her parents were openly talking about how much they hated her, tolerated her etc? I am sure the mother said something quite shocking like she wished she had killed her at birth?

I’m sure I watched that on Real Stories. The mother’s exact words were “ I had the chance to kill “it” while it was in the womb. No wonder the child had behavioural problems. The little girl was named Georgina if I remember correctly.

Reugny · 11/08/2023 09:15

OnedayIwillfeelfree · 10/08/2023 20:50

Which channels are doing re runs?

You can find the old US episodes on YouTube.

Reugny · 11/08/2023 09:18

Pallisers · 10/08/2023 21:01

They manage fine because this isn't true.

She commented on that because every couple of episodes there was a kid over 5 calling for their mum to wipe their butt.

Oh and some of the kids were home schooled.

Reugny · 11/08/2023 09:21

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 11/08/2023 07:35

One thing I think she was good at was letting the Dads know that they were just as responsible for parenting as the mum. That was news for some of them.

Also sticker charts. My DC love a sticker chart.

But yes, one size doesn't fit all. Little angels was better because Tanya didn't create a vacuum - she only observed.

Yep - she told the dads off for their lack of engagement either from being too work focused or just damn lazy.

She also told couples off for undermining each other.

SushiSuave · 11/08/2023 09:33

DinoRoar14 · 10/08/2023 14:03

Has anyone mentioned Bacon Boy?

"She's acting like she's the queen and we're the sorry people"

🤣

Every time we have a bacon sandwich my OH sings the "Bacon is good for me" remix 😂

SushiSuave · 11/08/2023 09:34

Although I think bacon boy was a wife swap episode rather than Supernanny

OnedayIwillfeelfree · 11/08/2023 09:42

Ifyouwantmeillbeinthebar · 10/08/2023 12:51

I’ve become addicted to watching reruns of Super Nanny UK with Jo Frost.

God, she did hand out some awful advice didn’t she?! However it’s interesting how parenting and discipline has evolved over the last 20 years.

There are so many episodes where behavioural issues and additional needs were just put down to bad behaviour, it was quite sad really.

I’ve just watched one where mum and dad had 3 girls, Megan, Erin and Gabriella and it was quite shocking, the eldest (9) had so much anger and was biting and hitting everyone including Jo. I felt so sad for her, she seemed so sad, angry and frustrated.

I was so invested that I googled the girls and where there were now. Interestingly the eldest said that none of it was scripted and the production team were really nice but the whole programme was filmed over 8 weeks and there was lot of changes to their routine to fit in with filming, meals and bedtime different to what they were used to, they couldn’t wear what they would normally wear as no brands were to be shown and not friends or family could visit because they weren’t allowed to be involved in filming and she said it really aggravated her and her sisters behaviour. She also said there was really any change after Jo left and they just behaved better as they matured like most kids.

I found it all really interesting.

Has anyone else got any episodes, UK, version that stand out and what was your opinion on the discipline and methods Super Nanny used.

Where have you been watching the re runs please?

Karen398 · 11/08/2023 09:56

The one I remember is when a mum smacked her son across the face at bedtime and not a lot was said! Mum with two little boys and a toddler girl she was breastfeeding. Yes Jo talked to them about no violence etc but these days police/ social services would be called surely

littleripper · 11/08/2023 10:06

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/08/2023 09:07

I’m sure I watched that on Real Stories. The mother’s exact words were “ I had the chance to kill “it” while it was in the womb. No wonder the child had behavioural problems. The little girl was named Georgina if I remember correctly.

This was Warwick Dyer: http://www.warwickdyer.com/

Georgina has talked about her experience on social media - she had a very difficult childhood due to her abusive mother. It is heartbreaking to watch the show.

Warwick Dyer - Cutting Edge - Channel 4

Warwick Dyer's revolutionary child behaviour techniques - featured on Channel 4's Cutting Edge

http://www.warwickdyer.com

LisaVanderpump1 · 11/08/2023 10:08

A couple of US episodes stick out in my mind for the families rather than Jo Frost's approach. The first was a family that had two teen girls who the parents treated like the hired help. The dad had a temper and at one point, one of the girls passed out. I got really weird vibes from that family, like something was REALLY off.

The second was a family where the parents had zero awareness of what their kids were doing on the internet. The youngest girl was about 12 and talking to all these guys who were 17/18/19 on the internet for hours. It was truly terrifying.

littleripper · 11/08/2023 10:08

Also, the show Warwick made was called: Bad Behaviour: What happens when children are raised without love.
Warwick had to teach these parents how to love. His mantra is "your child does not deserve your anger"

BertieBotts · 11/08/2023 14:45

The first was a family that had two teen girls who the parents treated like the hired help. The dad had a temper and at one point, one of the girls passed out. I got really weird vibes from that family, like something was REALLY off.

😬 Gives me Duggar family vibes...

Supernanny was for many people a bridge between the old days of hitting kids and yet still having the obey me attitude and a proper punishment. It gave a lot of parents an alternative to hitting without feeling that they were loosing their authority. Kids obey or else they get punished.

Yes, I think this is fair. It is a necessary step in the evolution of parenting. But I do think we are past this now, which is why it feels a bit Shock

Exactly this. If smacking worked, you would only need to do it once.

Don't agree with smacking, but this could be said of any discipline technique.

I know, I always wonder what magic discipline technique you only have to use once? Can you teach me please??

BertieBotts · 11/08/2023 15:13

What's replaced it? "Naughty step" was more a less a version of "time out", has something else replaced time out?

I think what's changed is less the exact punishment that is used, and more the role that punishment plays in up to date (evidence based) parenting advice.

It used to be assumed that if you see your child doing something you don't want, you should reprimand them, and quite likely punish them as well, (or at the very least warn/remind them of the threat of punishment if they continue) so that they associate that action with something unpleasant, and hopefully discourage them from doing it. Certainly that was the role that smacking played, and I think the "Supernanny era" time out/naughty step played that role too, as you can see in this description from the supernanny wiki (no idea if this is official guidance or fan-written taken from tips on the programme):

https://supernanny.fandom.com/wiki/Timeout

Some quotes:

Do not have the time-out zone be in either the child(ren)'s bedroom or a fun place, otherwise the child would either get mixed messages or play with their toys.

Make sure that the time-out area doesn't have anywhere comfortable to sit on. (WTF)

4-year-olds stay for 4 minutes, 7-year-olds stay for 7 minutes, and ages are sometimes rounded up

Do not pick the child(ren) up, [after the time out when offering a hug and kiss] otherwise they will think you are apologizing for being cruel. (!!!!!)

Should the child(ren) refuse to apologize, they shall remain again in timeout for the same additional minutes depending on their age until they choose to apologize after the expiration of their time.

---

That's clearly a punitive definition of time out; it's not supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a deterrent, if the child experiences it as "cruel" you should not apologise for this. The WHOLE point of it is something that the child wants to avoid.

My perception is that this is outdated, because more up to date parenting advice does not see bad behaviour as something which just exists all by itself and can be squashed independently of other things. You are supposed to view the behaviour in context.

Either (especially in the case of a pattern of generally poor behaviour, rather than a specific incident) it's an expression of unmet needs, ie you want to look at the whole situation more generally - does this child get enough sleep, is their diet OK, are they getting enough fresh air and exercise, do the parents behave warmly towards the child, is the child stressed/worried, are they attention seeking because they have a new sibling etc etc. And yes, undiagnosed neurodiversity is relevant here. And so with that you would want to look at the wider picture and address the child's needs, which should reduce behaviour, rather than simply punishing them in the hope the behaviour will go away without addressing any of the underlying causes.

Or it can be seen as more of a two sided thing; the idea that for every negative behaviour, there is a positive opposite. The assumption may be that if you discourage the bad behaviour, then the good opposite behaviour will automatically grow, or it might have simply been that neither are connected. But actually, what research tells us is that it is generally more effective to identify the positive opposite behaviour and encourage that, because if you've got this right then you will see the bad behaviour automatically shrink/stop. So praising/rewarding politeness is more effective more quickly and with a more lasting effect than punishing a rude tone, for example. And clear communication of what you actually want/expect your children to do is really imperative, and sometimes they need some help or encouragement to develop the wanted behaviour because they aren't very good at it yet (example, a child who frequently gets frustrated and lamps their sibling may need some training/practice/guidance in calming down techniques, which punishment will not teach). This is not particularly new information, we've known for a really really long time that positive encouragement works better than negative deterrent. But I think it's taken a while to really filter into common parenting attitudes, and I think this is really where we are right now in the majority of Western/English speaking countries' parenting advice.

And so I think that while most people still do use punishment in some form, it's recognised that it's not the most effective tool in a parent's toolbox, others are better. We also know that the severity of the punishment doesn't make very much of a difference in how well it deters behaviour, so there is no need to make a time out very boring and long for the child - a minute or so, mainly with the purpose of taking the child away from the situation and creating some space for them to calm down, is sufficient. Occasionally you might want a deterrent which is where something like removal of privilege would come in, but even this is something that you would want to use sparingly, and be looking at the overall picture to see if anything is lacking or looking at the specific behaviour and thiking about what would help in terms of supporting/encouraging the opposite.

Timeout

Timeout is a form of parenting technique that is featured in almost all episodes of Supernanny. The most popular form for this punishment is the Naughty Step. This is a form of behavioral modification involves temporarily separating a person from an en...

https://supernanny.fandom.com/wiki/Timeout

TimeToMoveIt · 11/08/2023 15:16

NoTouch · 10/08/2023 15:16

We used a version of the tactic and it worked very well for us. It all depends on the child and the delivery.

We never called it the "naughty step" and corrected others who because of the program did, but with stairs in our living room it was a good place for ds to sit while he was upset and couldn't be reasoned with, couldn't listen and was calming down. It was always sold to him as taking time out to calm down then we could talk. Having the same place gave him consistency and formed the habit that it was actively for calming down. In the beginning he did resist, but not significantly, then he would sometimes looked relieved when he got there as he knew the upset would be over soon, then sometimes he would take himself there by himself and eventually he used the skills he learned to calm down without having to go to that one place.

In grans house if things were getting too much with adults in his face trying to cajole him leaving the room worked for him and he would head for the relief of the stairs for a couple of mins breather.

The problem with the "naughty step" in Supernanny was the turning of it into sensational entertainment rather than a viable and otherwise useful tool.

One of mine was the same, he used to take himself off for quite time if things were a bit overwhelming. It wouldn't have worked for my other dcs though

theyareonlynoodlesmichael · 11/08/2023 15:52

BertieBotts · 11/08/2023 14:45

The first was a family that had two teen girls who the parents treated like the hired help. The dad had a temper and at one point, one of the girls passed out. I got really weird vibes from that family, like something was REALLY off.

😬 Gives me Duggar family vibes...

Supernanny was for many people a bridge between the old days of hitting kids and yet still having the obey me attitude and a proper punishment. It gave a lot of parents an alternative to hitting without feeling that they were loosing their authority. Kids obey or else they get punished.

Yes, I think this is fair. It is a necessary step in the evolution of parenting. But I do think we are past this now, which is why it feels a bit Shock

Exactly this. If smacking worked, you would only need to do it once.

Don't agree with smacking, but this could be said of any discipline technique.

I know, I always wonder what magic discipline technique you only have to use once? Can you teach me please??

The point is, why are you smacking/punishment as a deterrent? If it worked as a deterrent, the child wouldn't misbehave again. Some parent smack because they are lazy/emotionally incapable of teaching their child.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 11/08/2023 18:31

Don't agree with smacking, but this could be said of any discipline technique.

The point about smacking is more that you can't keep on doing it when your child keeps on misbehaving. When you've done it once you've shot your bolt, at least for the time being.

It's true that if deterrence isn't working then it's probably because you need something other than deterrence in the first place. But even as deterrents go smacking is a particularly crap one.

BertieBotts · 11/08/2023 20:27

Well what does work as a deterrent then? I'm confused. I thought the expectation of a deterrent is to deter - discourage, not eliminate.

And surely you can just keep smacking them, isn't that what people do? (Obviously you shouldn't, but then you shouldn't do it in the first place).

I agree with that poster, I'm anti smacking, but I don't understand the argument that it doesn't work because you have to do it again. Most discipline techniques you have to repeat repeat repeat for a while until the message sinks in.

TimeToMoveIt · 12/08/2023 01:08

BertieBotts · 11/08/2023 20:27

Well what does work as a deterrent then? I'm confused. I thought the expectation of a deterrent is to deter - discourage, not eliminate.

And surely you can just keep smacking them, isn't that what people do? (Obviously you shouldn't, but then you shouldn't do it in the first place).

I agree with that poster, I'm anti smacking, but I don't understand the argument that it doesn't work because you have to do it again. Most discipline techniques you have to repeat repeat repeat for a while until the message sinks in.

Exactly, if anything worked the first time then you wouldn't have to keep doing it . Kids will kid . It's about being consistent. I do think smacking Is just a parental loss of control though personally , parenting is hard

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