Jo Frost (Super Nanny)

[Ifyouwantmeillbeinthebar]

I’ve become addicted to watching reruns of Super Nanny UK with Jo Frost.

God, she did hand out some awful advice didn’t she?! However it’s interesting how parenting and discipline has evolved over the last 20 years.

There are so many episodes where behavioural issues and additional needs were just put down to bad behaviour, it was quite sad really.

I’ve just watched one where mum and dad had 3 girls, Megan, Erin and Gabriella and it was quite shocking, the eldest (9) had so much anger and was biting and hitting everyone including Jo. I felt so sad for her, she seemed so sad, angry and frustrated.

I was so invested that I googled the girls and where there were now. Interestingly the eldest said that none of it was scripted and the production team were really nice but the whole programme was filmed over 8 weeks and there was lot of changes to their routine to fit in with filming, meals and bedtime different to what they were used to, they couldn’t wear what they would normally wear as no brands were to be shown and not friends or family could visit because they weren’t allowed to be involved in filming and she said it really aggravated her and her sisters behaviour. She also said there was really any change after Jo left and they just behaved better as they matured like most kids.

I found it all really interesting.

Has anyone else got any episodes, UK, version that stand out and what was your opinion on the discipline and methods Super Nanny used.

A lot of what she said and did in the programmes reminded me of late MIL. Who was an absolute bully and when on her death bed “I’m sorry for being so mean” to DH.

@francesthebadger

What about if they need blood transfusions or emergency surgery? Are you against that sort of medical science too?

On the contrary. Actually, I'm both a scientist and a teacher.

Nobody said these conditions don't exist. I have seen them and they are real and genuine. However, I have also seen them used as an excuse for poor behaviour resulting from a lack of boundaries and poor parenting.

I’m a nanny and have been for a long time and not one parent has ever said they want a super nanny approach. I do very much agree with firm boundaries, structure and routine but at the end of the day you’re dealing with immature small people that have not totally mastered impulse control and don’t have a lot of understanding of the wider world. It takes a bit more compassion and kindness in my opinion.

I do wonder if Jo would have stuck to her methods if she’d had her own children.

There's nothing wrong with the naughty step...

Kids can only behave within their developmental capacities, ND ones typically lagging 3-4 years behind their NT peers. Of course some people have more profound learning disabilities.

That's kind of the point about disability; being differently-abled. And the point about disability discrimination, is that some people fail to grasp this, and get cross with disabled kids when they can't behave as though they didn't have the disabilities.

But perhaps this may reflect some intellectual impairment, or problem in the emotional regulation, of the adults holding these sorts of views, so we perhaps shouldn't judge them too harshly, for similar reasons?

This is why the equalities Act exists. So schools and workplaces adapt to disabilities. Not the other way round🙄

I remember watching at the time and being quite upset by the 'naughty step'. Most of the kids needed to be more connected to their parent not punished.
Never take parenting advice from someone who isn't a parent!

It’s not the worst method but a child who isn’t listening and doing what they’re told isn’t always likely to sit still and quietly on a step for several minutes. Then you get the forced apology at the end. It’s not my favourite way of dealing with things. I suppose the modern equivalent is ‘time out’?

@Cowlover89
you’re not allowed to use the word naughty anymore because it gives children a label to play up to…the naughty step is out and ‘taking some time to think’ is in. Same principal, different name 🙄

It was the "you are so awful I want you out of my sight" message dad objected to. My parents were very strict but we were never sent to our rooms.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow @francesthebadger

I completely appreciate that but it depends how those ND, SEN, etc present themselves…those differences shouldn’t be punished but nor should they be ignored/excuses like a lot of parents I know do. My friend’s teenager has behaviour issues due to SEN, but she says he’s like that because of the SEN and leaves it at that. I worry what will happen to him when he leaves the safety/support of school.

Maybe he’s got PDA? Very difficult to parent. Or severe anxiety as part of ASD.

Both present as behaviour issues.

Has anyone mentioned Bacon Boy?

"She's acting like she's the queen and we're the sorry people"

🤣

HAHAHA still quote that regularly.

That was wife swap!

I do say naughty. But a ‘that’s naughty’ ‘that would be naughty, wouldn’t it?’ Not ‘YOU are naughty’

I know it’s not fashionable to say at all anymore though. My SIL is an early years teacher and won’t use it. My mum once told off her grandson for pushing over his sister on holiday once - said ‘No! That’s naughty’ and my SIL didn’t speak to her for the rest of the weekend 😐

I completely disagree with this. There's many many parents who frankly should've never had kids. Equally there's many people who don't have kids but give brilliant advice and are very good at working with difficult kids.

It goes against everything you should use in your disciplinary toolbox. It lacks empathy, nuance, communication, inclusion. A parent should have a solid enough relationship with their child to preempt or head off bad behaviour. To the point that bad behaviour is rare.

The naughty step says “you will regularly be naughty. As a parent I’ll do nothing to work with you on this apart from banish you to a predetermined arbitrary step. We will do this with maximum drama and distress and force an apology out of you. You will then be given a confusing hug which does nothing to address the issue.” Rinse and repeat. It’s shit.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow
But then he needs help managing it rather than people labelling him and leaving it be

No way!
Shows how much awful day time TV I binged at 1 point they all blended together.

Yes that was dad's other argument. If you're having to use it more than very occasionally, it's not working.

@Skinnermarink
wow at your SIL 😳

I’ve always tried not to say it and my kids still do because of tv, other children, etc. can’t be helped 🤷🏻‍♀️

@CatandSpoon I think I remember the show you are talking about but I didn't think it was SuperNanny. It was some "revolutionary new behaviour management" which concentrated solely on the parents. The behaviourist/psychologist never met the child. I remember the family you are talking about. The parents were older and seemed quite clueless. They were supposed to put a penny or 10p or something in a jar at the end of the day if she had been good. When the "expert" phoned to check in the father said he hadn't been doing it every night but had been giving her 50p here and there (or something similar) and the expert really laid into him saying that he was breaking the contract that he had made with the little girl.

But Meghann (who I've seen talking about herself on TikTok too) hasn't been diagnosed with anything? Are you saying she should have been?

Does anyone remember the episode with a little girl called Maryanne? She used to dash out the house so was being locked in her room. The fire hazard had me pearl clutching like the clappers.

I say naughty, and I've smacked, not every day is a great day, but majority of mine are now adults and are not completely traumatised!

Where does the help come from? How do you ‘manage’ a disability that’s driven by severe crippling anxiety? Cos CAHMS are so good……

Like most of the programs at that time of a similar ilk - parenting, dog whisperer, jerry springer etc - it was an entertainment program, not an educational one, the primary consideration in most of them was not the welfare of their guests. They were all on the look out for entertainingly "naughty" guests.

Why any parent would put their dc on that program is beyond me.