Jo Frost (Super Nanny)

[Ifyouwantmeillbeinthebar]

I’ve become addicted to watching reruns of Super Nanny UK with Jo Frost.

God, she did hand out some awful advice didn’t she?! However it’s interesting how parenting and discipline has evolved over the last 20 years.

There are so many episodes where behavioural issues and additional needs were just put down to bad behaviour, it was quite sad really.

I’ve just watched one where mum and dad had 3 girls, Megan, Erin and Gabriella and it was quite shocking, the eldest (9) had so much anger and was biting and hitting everyone including Jo. I felt so sad for her, she seemed so sad, angry and frustrated.

I was so invested that I googled the girls and where there were now. Interestingly the eldest said that none of it was scripted and the production team were really nice but the whole programme was filmed over 8 weeks and there was lot of changes to their routine to fit in with filming, meals and bedtime different to what they were used to, they couldn’t wear what they would normally wear as no brands were to be shown and not friends or family could visit because they weren’t allowed to be involved in filming and she said it really aggravated her and her sisters behaviour. She also said there was really any change after Jo left and they just behaved better as they matured like most kids.

I found it all really interesting.

Has anyone else got any episodes, UK, version that stand out and what was your opinion on the discipline and methods Super Nanny used.

I agree with this. I have always instinctively thought the naughty step was pointless, impossible to implement and could just made things worse.
Your comment explains why

By controlversial do you mean idiotic?

It feels weird to force a child who is literally incapable of emotionally regulating themselves to sit alone on a step. What does it achieve?

That episode-The aggressive girl who scratched &c is now a single parent herself!
There was a follow up a couple of years ago.

I'll never forget the one with a young lad who was a fussy eater. Jo made him eat and told his mum to ignore him gagging and throwing up. Horrifying,

I remember this!

Sometimes she was bang on - I remember a US version where the mum openly agreed that the veggies were gross, apologised for them then was aghast that the child wouldn't eat the things she herself was pulling a face at. That is parental behavior that needs to be changed and Jo was right to call it out.

Forcing a child to eat is cruelty.

She was either right or really, really wrong.

Hyperbolic nonsense. I also loathe the phrase "little shits" being used to describe children.

Strange how many people think that those of us with neurodiverse kids don't parent them.

I did love this. And house of tiny tearaways not sure they age well at all. Although I love professor Byron

@LisaVanderpump1
I agree, it then becomes an excuse for poor behaviour. Realistically, children with SEN, etc do need to learn to control, find other outlets, etc for their behaviours if they’re going to grow up, get jobs, etc…

Ah yes it would be great if I could just discipline the disability out of my kids.

The reality is they behave well as far as is within their capacity to do so. Learning impulse control, focus, social conventions is a long, slow process with lots of working out what they can and can’t tolerate - and lots of bumps along the way. By the time they are adults they’ll understand themselves better and have better strategies for navigating the things they find difficult now, in the meantime their disabilities sometimes impact their behaviour - I’m not going to punish them for something they can’t control yet.

I think nowadays parents of “ Difficult “ children want a diagnosis as it helps excuse the unwanted behaviours ..
And a lot of kids are allowed to run riot, literally, without being any obvious boundaries.

Jo did get results- Interestingly it was nearly always multiple children- Rarely if ever did Jo deal with a single child.
Maybe as a single has more attention, and more parental time invested in them?

Horrible programme. As ever (a stopped clock, there being a grain of truth in some myths, etc.) I'm sure there were some little bits of truth and value in what she did/does, but it was an utter exercise in domination and embarrassment of the children. No sense of treating them like small human beings. The idea of filming children in their most vulnerable moments like that, dysregulated, distressed, melting down, being manhandled and dragged around, then broadcasting it for all their peers to see, and to be on the internet forevermore. So dehumanising for the children.

Do you really think children are handed out diagnoses just because a parent struggles to parent a difficult child?

@francesthebadger
Nope - not a science denier or against saving kid's lives, and I'm not sure what about my post would have given you such a strange idea. But hey ho.

What I find wild is how many people both on MN and in real life seem to think that their kid is neurodivergent/ADHD/autistic etc. and desperately seem to want someone to confirm that and for social services/educational/medical facilities to step in frequently and without question to help them with their kid. And if their kid is tested and not diagnosed as such, they still maintain they're ND and remain hell bent on trying to get people on board to help raise them.

Some parents seem to realise that they've got a nuisance kid on their hands, and rather than parent them, they need to find an excuse for them and reel in other parties to help when it doesn't turn out to all sunshine and rainbows. You've only got to look at the number of "I love my kids but hate school holidays" posts on here to see that some people seem genuinely surprised about how challenging being a parent can be.

Having just watched the Megan episode, I'm pretty confident she's just a kid acting up. She yells and gets angry because her mum yells and gets angry, and so she copies that behaviour. And (as I predicted earlier), she's struggling with sharing the attention with her two younger siblings - look at how calm and happy she was when she went ice skating with her mum and had something for herself. If this had aired today, the parents and viewers would've all been so quick to claim ND, when it's just good old-fashioned bad behaviour and boundary testing. Nothing more, nothing less.

I quite liked Jo Frost especially when she wasn't doing the "Supernanny schtick". Every episode she'd do the mugging at the camera, this is not asseptable, time outs and star charts blah-di-blah... and in between she'd usually do something that was clever and insightful and different each week.

A version of her "Stay in bed, I'll be back in two minutes to kiss you goodnight" which I saw her use on just one occasion for an anxious little boy who wanted his Mum worked beautifully for mine.

And I remember her getting the shouty Dad to sit on the floor while she stood over him and gave him a loud bollocking so he'd know how it felt.

She wasn't very good at neurodiversity, but then neither were most childcare "experts" at the time.

Probably a controversial opinion, it's always the preamble to some completely dickish inane comment isn't it.

People that haven't had to deal with a child with eg ADHD/ASD do love to think it's due to their superior and strict parenting don't they.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow
I completely agree with you - there’s a gaping hole within the system where help is concerned. That’s a whole other thread.

I genuinely worry about how a lot of children with ND, SEN or otherwise are going to cope in the ‘real world’ without the right intervention. Sadly, I don’t think parents always help that either due to the aforementioned reasons.

On the contrary I, and most parents I know who have children with various diagnoses, fight the idea of it for a long time. We berate ourselves and our parenting, feel like failures - a concept only reinforced by the fact that the first few steps on the diagnostic pathway involve a number of parenting courses which makes you feel like the one at fault - and desperately want our child be a badly behaved 'normal' child, because that would mean there was a fix, some magic parenting wand that wouldn't lead to a lifetime of struggle, exclusion, mental health disorders and loneliness for our children.

Smug people with no clue really do like to come on here and spout a load of bollocks, don't they? I'm sure there are the odd parents who like to use things as an excuse, but they're the exception not the rule. The majority of parents would never wish this on their child.

I've never met anyone that's had a badly behaved kid that tries to make out they are ND, ever once.

If anything, I still think lots of parents are blind to their child being ND, think its poor behaviour and its only ever picked up when it becomes an issue in school.

Totally 100000000% agree.

@HauntedPencil Just trying to show awareness that my experience and opinion won't be shared by all (something that some people on MN can't fathom).

And I think you've missed the point. If your child is ND, I accept that you have to adapt your parenting style and expectations. What I'm saying is that the parents of kids that aren't ND and are simply misbehaving should just accept that and work on that rather than trying to find an excuse.

@snowdropinwinter
As time as gone on all i see is parents molly cuddling kids all ways a some sort of he/she is on the spectrum like its glammed up .

WTF does this even mean?

Realistically, children with SEN, etc do need to learn to control, find other outlets, etc for their behaviours if they’re going to grow up, get jobs, etc

No! What children with SEN and D need is to develop and learn in an environment that is appropriate for them.

If their "behaviours" are 'problematic' then there is something wrong in that environment - more than likely many things wrong. The role of the adults in their lives is to identify what is causing the issues for the child and put in place adaptations to reduce the distress. This includes the adults assessing the underlying skills that child has, so that expectations can be matched to developmental level. It also enables the adults to focus support and strategies more effectively to help the child develop and learn further skills. All relative to the child's starting point not matched to a standard expectation of behaviour.

A child who has violent meltdowns because the environment is wrong for them (e.g. sensory overload, too chaotic or conversely too controlled, confusing because the adults aren't communicating in the way that the child understands, too overwhelming in social terms expectations et. etc. etc.) doesn't need to be taught how to redirect that violent meltdown, they need to be in a safer environment. From this safer environment, where the sensory levels are manageable, where expectations are shared and understood, where the social expectations may be lessened or removed, that child can begin to learn about their sensory difficulties and practice strategies to help e.g. headphones or accessing a quiet zone etc.

They can begin to socialise at a pace that suits them. They can practice communication strategies like symbols, pecs or makaton. Even a highly verbal child may need a non speaking mode of communication when overloaded and facing shutdown or meltdown.

Behaviour is communication. Supernanny and her ilk don't listen to what's being communicated. The focus is on changing the behaviour by reward and punishment. Of course adults need to intervene when there is risk to others. But that doesn't mean that the intervention should be punishment as a default response.

Most sane parents don't punish their 4 year old if s/he repeatedly falls of their bike whilst learning to ride a 2 wheeler. Because they understand that as the child learns s/he will make mistakes! To help a child ride a bike, you give them opportunities to practice balancing in a safe way, not punish the failure of balance when trying to ride the bike. The same applies to all those skills that children with additional needs are learning every day.