Would you send your kid off to Uni in these circs?

[54isanopendoor]

Ds is 18. He has Autism. Dyslexia. Clinical Anxiety (no support atm)
He has just had his HNC results. He got an A so has applied via clearing to the 'better' of the 2 Uni's he wass interested in (though he's 'not really sure he wants to go to Uni / study this subject but might as well as he will never really know')

Yesterday they made him an offer, provisional on his uploading his qualifications to date. He hasn't done so yet & is just wafting around not wanting to discuss it.

We spoke last night. I asked him what he wanted to do & he said he doesn't know. He asked what I thought. I said that I had every confidence in his academic abilities (he doesn't, & can't / won't ask for help - he 'masks & then has ASD shutdown & gets severe motor tics which resemble epilepsy)
but I can see he is extremely tired from last year still. He looks ill. He is stressed.

I said he could go to Uni 1 (location means moving out & he still needs a lot of scaffolding re making food / showering etc - I appreciate ALL teens are a bit like this but due to his ASD he doesn't KNOW when he's hungry / can't moderate sleep - I've suggested apps & techniques but he struggles to manage them)

OR he could try for the 2nd Uni which is (just about) commutable (if they still have a place) but that one is 'not as exciting' & I think he feels he should go to Uni 1 as it is better.

OR he could go to local College for a 2nd yr (a bit pointless as it doesn't need the qualification now but would give time to choose Uni/course/prep)

He said he just doens't know. He might as well throw a dice.

I asked him if he'd do an Epworth sleepiness scale (I, & his Dad, my ExH, have apnea & wonder if he does?) It wasnt high but he sleeps 23.00 - 14.00 hours).
I also asked him to do the Edinburgh Depression scale & it was really high.

I know it's a bit daft asking strangers but I am so close to him it's hard to be objective. He has never had any confidence & always needed 'pushing'. I want to encourage him. He's worked so hard for this place & it could be 'the making of him'. But it also might be overwhelming & affect his MH even more than now.

What would you encourage him to do?

Sorry but I predict he will sink in the first term.
A year at home learning routines and resilience is a year well spent. Plus a year older.
You sound an AMAZING mum, he is lucky to have you in his corner x

Would it be an option to do a HE course at a college and then finish at a uni?

Gap

University is not for everyone. It sounds like your DS would have trouble coping and that he is not ready. The university environment relies on students being self-starting and using their own initiative.

I agree with this unfortunately. Even with support there will still be a lot of onus on your son to ask for help. On the WIWIKAU Facebook page there have been a lot of students with your son's issues who have dropped out.

I think a gap year is the best option as he just doesn't sound ready for university.

Have you watched Atypical? It’s about this exact scenario. Brilliantly done.

Perhaps a physical pro’s and cons list for each decision would be helpful?

What student support is available at Uni 1? Some will offer greater support for yp.

I understand that support is very good at Abertay.
He had a DSA assessment last year so we are not starting from scratch.
But he'd move in on 9th Sept so it's not long & last year it took 6m for the support funding to come through so I'd not imagine they'll be much preXmas.