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Original poster

Looking ugly

68 replies

Tinker766 · 09/08/2023 00:33

Hi everyone, I'm feeling very low at the moment, I've been extremely insecure about my appearance, today I went out to the cinema with my daughter and while on our journey to the cinema, we got on a very busy bus, I had to stand and bus was crammed up I was standing near two teenage girls about 15/16 year old, as I looked their direction they started staring at me and then laughed out loud with each other, I ignored them and tried to not look at them with being so near to them I heard them say, my god she's Fugly as F##k, they were laughing and smirking the whole journey, I eventually could sit down and went to the back of the bus with my daughter, they were still staring and laughing uncontrollably, I felt so awkward and uncomfortable, this has happened before and Ive been laughed at in the past, I try and look decent and I try and dress smart, even lost 3 stone recently, but feel I do get stared at alot when outside, but it's usually a look of disgust and contempt, I'm 47 and I do have issues with social anxiety, but I have this anxiety due to being laughed at in the past, I feel some days I look okay but today I must of looked odd or weird or something, this has went on on/off since my early 20s, I sometimes think my face looks odd, I've been told I'm ugly looking by some men in the past that my eyes are too big and googly, that my face is long and my nose is big, I thought I had acromegaly and had tests done to rule it out, I don't have it, but the doctor did say my features like my eyes are very prominent, but no other testing was done, this is how I looked today on the bus, am I that ugly looking that I'm being singled out and laughed at, I leave the house thinking I look okay but then this happens, it's not the first time this has happened either, I've had random people just stare at me, then laugh with their hand over their mouths as if embarrassed by doing this, it's so obvious to me they are laughing at me. Thankyou

Looking ugly
OP posts:
Zoomie1 · 09/08/2023 00:39

You're not ugly at all! In fact, you are pretty. I've had silly girls giggle at me on the bus and say horrid things. It's what some girls do. Ignore.

AndTheSurveySays · 09/08/2023 00:41

You look perfectly normal.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 09/08/2023 00:42

You've got a lovely face!!

I am absolutely befuddled by your post and your pic- like it's ralking sbout someone completely different!!

Original poster
Tinker766 · 09/08/2023 00:44

@Zoomie1 yeah I shrugged it off but then I just let it bother me later on, thinking this has happened before in the past with a random person laughing at me, it just makes me feel like I must look odd or something, I know teenagers will laugh at anything to pass the time but feel kind of targeted and triggered today. Thanks

OP posts:
SkipHopJumpSplatWallop · 09/08/2023 00:46

You look like a normal woman and attractive. I honestly cannot see what you are seeing. You have large eyes, but that’s a positive thing. I would be more than happy to look like you.
Some people are just nasty. I think when someone seems insecure or unsure of themselves people see it as a free pass to behave like a twat because they think there won’t be any come back.

Original poster
Tinker766 · 09/08/2023 00:47

@AndTheSurveySays thanks I know this seems vain of me to post a pic, but I'm actually feeling extremely triggered by what happened today, just makes me think of other times this kind of situation has occurred.

OP posts:
likey · 09/08/2023 00:50

You're not ugly op.

To be honest 15/16 year olds will say all sort of nonsense to come across cool in front of their mates.

Next time hold your head up high.

Original poster
Tinker766 · 09/08/2023 00:50

@Highlyflavouredgravy Thankyou, I honestly feel ugly, it's happened before in the past but not on a bus, just walking outside Ive had the odd insult and I usually ignore it but then I think, why does this keep happening to me, my daughter seen the teenage girls laughing also, it was horrible.

OP posts:
Highlyflavouredgravy · 09/08/2023 00:53

You should gave said something tovthem!

Ivthink you need to maybe talk to someone about this, like a therapist, because all i see is a lovely face!

JMSA · 09/08/2023 00:58

Oh my God woman, you're lovely!

I'll tell you something about teens. I work with very challenging ones. Basically, they can be shits until they get to know you. When I first started my job, I was told that I was fat, that my clothes were weird, and I even overheard some girls saying that my privates smell. Lovely!
I've been in the job for a few months now and they are SO much nicer. They know me better, and they like me. A lot actually. A couple have even taken it upon themselves to apologise for how they were at the start. The main ringleader goes in a huff now whenever I'm not at work!
So, some teenagers who don't know you from Adam on the bus, you're basically fair game to them. They don't know you and it isn't personal. I can't stress this enough. The only thing they care about is showing off in front of their mates. They don't feel bad, because you're nothing to them. A total stranger.

Of course this doesn't excuse their shitty behaviour. But I hope it makes you feel better anyway Flowers

kaluelu · 09/08/2023 01:01

You're pretty OP, you have a lovely warm face and big eyes, I would never look at you and think anything negative. Teenagers are horrible sometimes, if you're anxious they might have seen you looking down or uncomfortable and honed in on you, it's honestly not personal as much as it might seem like it is. Take a look around you next time you feel like there's something wrong with how you look, and think about how they're all just normal people and you look just like them, on the warm and pretty side if anything.

Whoisit11 · 09/08/2023 01:04

You are beautiful. Hate that you can't see that. Big eyes are attractive! I would've called Those girls out on their comments. Horrible teenagers

miraveille · 09/08/2023 01:06

You're very pretty!!

JaneJeffer · 09/08/2023 01:07

😱

Just kidding, you look lovely. Ignore the daft teenagers.

Original poster
Tinker766 · 09/08/2023 01:07

@JMSA Hi, Thankyou, yes I'm trying to rationalize this, that they may have issues, like most teenagers do, I keep thinking maybe when I first looked at them I might of had a resting bitch face as wasn't too happy being squashed up standing on the bus near them and I might of triggered one of them unintentionally, hence why they acted like they did, even thou they it was kind of nasty but they probably do it to other random people, I think I'm just feeling low to start with and my body language is showing vunerability.

OP posts:
groovergirl · 09/08/2023 01:09

You are naturaĺly good-looking and lucky to have such lovely large eyes! There's nothing abnormal about your appearance. Enjoy your beauty!

Some kids are horrid and get a buzz from picking on people. They don't care about the long-term effects on their targets. IME these kids come from chaotic backgrounds where this sort of behaviour is normalised as "just a bit of fun". I knew plenty such people growing up in the '70s and '80s. I developed ways of dealing with them.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but don't let it rob you of your power. Or, God forbid, from stepping out with confidence.

etinaz · 09/08/2023 01:12

Gosh, same as other posters OP - you're extremely attractive, with beautiful eyes. I really hope these positive comments will help a little.

EsmeT · 09/08/2023 01:12

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! You are very pretty.

QueenBitch666 · 09/08/2023 01:15

You're certainly not ugly. Your eyes are gorgeous!
Some people are just twats. I'd guess most of us have been called ugly, fat ( insert slur of the moment )
I certainly have
Flowers

TiredMum30 · 09/08/2023 01:16

Wow okay that was not the photo I was expecting from your post, you're not even the slightest bit ugly, I think you look attractive! It's definitely not you that's the problem, some kids can be dicks for no reason at all. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Gribbit987 · 09/08/2023 01:18

I scrolled through your post and I was going to post a message sympathising and reassuring. I was going to be logical and explain that even if you were hideous the sort of person who would belittle you for that is simply an unpleasant human. This all remains true… BUT…

I scrolled down and exclaimed “oh” out loud.

Not because your face scared me 😂

Because you are attractive!!!!!!!!!!!!

You do not have unusually big features. You do not have any negative aspects to your face.

These girls were just nasty. Bullies often sense a weakness. Perhaps you don’t carry yourself with confidence? That is my only thought. Because you certainly aren’t ugly!

A few years ago a bunch of schoolgirls started picking on various people on the bus.

They picked on a redhead, a larger woman, a quiet bookish girl. Each one of these people moved away. I sat there for a while silently fuming and thinking how easy it would be to get them to behave if we didn’t all ignore them.

Well, then they insulted my puppy 😂 I launched a selection of choice words at them about their disgusting behaviour and got punched in the head a few times…

So… probably best not to do what I did. But never ever believe people like this!!! In fact they often have very noticeable shortcomings themselves.

Hand on heart you are above average in your looks. I think you need to hold your head high and work on your confidence 😀

XenoBitch · 09/08/2023 01:18

You are not ugly! You have a warm face, and amazing eyes. But I also know how comments from random people can cut deep.
The teens you heard were cunts, plain and simple.

BreadInCaptivity · 09/08/2023 01:24

You are not ugly.

You look fine.

Focus on the positives, you have lovely eyes and lips, nice skin.

If you want a gentle suggestion to improve (though I don't think it's necessary) then I'd focus on your hair.

Many women with dark hair dye it the colour of their youth but as we age it becomes less flattering.

Your face looks great, but to suggest an improvement I'd go lighter on the hair and invest in a more flattering haircut.

You have a lovely high forehead that would look fabulous with a fringe, with the sides feathered out.

Theblacksheepandme · 09/08/2023 01:39

You're very attractive OP but no amount of us telling you this is going to make you believe this if you don't. I think numerous things must have happened in your childhood to now in order to have made you think like this.

You need to start looking after yourself.

Are you doing something about your anxiety?

How old is your daughter? Could you gave Post Natal Depression?

Do you have good support around you?

Farahpascalmoges · 09/08/2023 01:40

What are you on about girl, you are lovely looking! If I could floof you up a bit I would run some chestnut lights through that dark hair to break up the colour (but that's just me)and don't be over-plucking those brows (You'll thank me in ten years). You're lovely.