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Original poster

Looking ugly

68 replies

Tinker766 · 09/08/2023 00:33

Hi everyone, I'm feeling very low at the moment, I've been extremely insecure about my appearance, today I went out to the cinema with my daughter and while on our journey to the cinema, we got on a very busy bus, I had to stand and bus was crammed up I was standing near two teenage girls about 15/16 year old, as I looked their direction they started staring at me and then laughed out loud with each other, I ignored them and tried to not look at them with being so near to them I heard them say, my god she's Fugly as F##k, they were laughing and smirking the whole journey, I eventually could sit down and went to the back of the bus with my daughter, they were still staring and laughing uncontrollably, I felt so awkward and uncomfortable, this has happened before and Ive been laughed at in the past, I try and look decent and I try and dress smart, even lost 3 stone recently, but feel I do get stared at alot when outside, but it's usually a look of disgust and contempt, I'm 47 and I do have issues with social anxiety, but I have this anxiety due to being laughed at in the past, I feel some days I look okay but today I must of looked odd or weird or something, this has went on on/off since my early 20s, I sometimes think my face looks odd, I've been told I'm ugly looking by some men in the past that my eyes are too big and googly, that my face is long and my nose is big, I thought I had acromegaly and had tests done to rule it out, I don't have it, but the doctor did say my features like my eyes are very prominent, but no other testing was done, this is how I looked today on the bus, am I that ugly looking that I'm being singled out and laughed at, I leave the house thinking I look okay but then this happens, it's not the first time this has happened either, I've had random people just stare at me, then laugh with their hand over their mouths as if embarrassed by doing this, it's so obvious to me they are laughing at me. Thankyou

OP posts:

Busubaba · 09/08/2023 07:06

The description you give doesn't match the photo!

You are lovely, certainly not ugly.

What I have noticed is that some people who get picked on have a vibe of insecurity or anxiousness about them that bullies pick up on.

I wonder when you caught the eye of the teenagers and looked away as one would, that they immediately thought they could be mean about you as you don't look like you would tell them to grow up or fuck off.

You're a nice person. There will always be unpleasant people ready to pounce and try and make you feel inferior.

Work on your self esteem and confidence, you don't have to be a confrontational person but you can walk around with your head held high with no need to feel small, ugly or ashamed of yourself.

You look lovely.

Newnamehiwhodis · 09/08/2023 07:09

…wait… what? Is that a picture of you?
you’re beautiful. They’re jealous. You look like a film star.
oh hon - don’t waste another minute thinking you’re uhly, please - I know it’s not easy to change the lenses of a lifetime and trauma from people saying awful things, but there’s genuinely no truth in those things.

ThePoetsWife · 09/08/2023 07:10

Another one who is baffled - you're very attractive!

Silly mean little girls.

madmumofteens · 09/08/2023 07:20

You have a lovely face OP 🥰 horrible nasty mean little bitches just know that you and your daughter will never be them 🥺

kezziegrey · 09/08/2023 07:21

You're very pretty. I've had the same with teenage girls and I think I'm attractive! Some people are horrible but it usually comes from a place of disliking themselves so I feel sorry for them.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/08/2023 07:24

I think it’s your anxiety and two very silly horrible teens talking. Neither can be relied on for a balanced opinion.

I think you look great. Lovely big eyes was my first though when I looked at your picture.

well done in the weight loss too!

Apricotton · 09/08/2023 07:25

You are really attractive! My first thoughts were that you have a very symmetrical and well proportioned face. Your skin is lovely. You do have large eyes - they are so pretty!

The people on the bus may not have been talking about you, or they may have sensed an insecurity and were feeling mean.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 09/08/2023 07:26

You look like Helen McCrory - not in the slightest bit fugly. They were just being nasty little shits, if it wasn't you it would've been someone else

MondieBee · 09/08/2023 07:30

OP I'm sure you've posted before. I recognise you. Your face is completely normal and does not stand out as ugly - in fact it's pleasant. But if I remember your other post correctly, how you feel about yourself is an ongoing problem that has been with you a long time, and you feel you've often seen others laughing at you. Have you sought any help? You need support to unpick what's anxiety and what's reality, otherwise it's always going to feel this way. Have you felt this way about your face since childhood? Everyone pointed out in the last thread that you are far from ugly but clearly this reassurance hasn't helped, suggesting this is a really deep problem for you. Hope you're OK and one day can feel a bit better.

Mydogisamentalist · 09/08/2023 07:35

You are not ugly at all! And you have lovely eyes!

I too own a pair of eyes that have been called ‘weirdly big’. In the past people have called me fish eyes. I’ve had people ask me not to look at them because my eyes freak them out or my personal favourite… stop doing that thing with your eyes, it’s weird! I was literally just looking at them.

Now I make the most of it and try and make my make up as dramatic as possible. If people are going to start I may as well give them a reason to!

inappropriateraspberry · 09/08/2023 07:46

Agree with @MondieBee
You have posted and asked this exact question before. If the reassurances then didn't help, please don't keep coming back and doing the same thing as it obviously isn't helping. You need real life help to work on yourself. You look lovely and this is an internal struggle, nothing to do with the external.

Tessisme · 09/08/2023 07:49

I'm not sure what I was expecting to see when I read your description of yourself, but it certainly wasn't the completely ordinary woman in the photo. And I mean ordinary in the nicest possible way of course - to me you have a very pretty face and you really do look like a lovely person. However, I completely and utterly relate to how you feel about your appearance, as I have similar issues. I definitely suffer from low self esteem and when you're in that mindset, you have a distorted view of yourself. You tend to pay special attention to the nasty remarks and either don't 'hear' the positive remarks or think they can't possibly be true and that people are being disingenuous. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for working on self esteem, because I have never cracked it myself!

SallyWD · 09/08/2023 07:58

I actually think you're pretty gorgeous and no, I'm not just saying that.
Look teenage girls can be right idiots. Who knows, maybe they do this all the time to random strangers. I've had some really unpleasant experiences with teenage girls being cruel (and I look perfectly fine). Don't give it any more thought. You're lovely.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 09/08/2023 09:32

I really don’t understand why you were tested for acromegaly. Throughout my years as a nurse I met several people with acromegaly and believe me, you look nothing like them!

SquirrelFan · 10/08/2023 13:29

@MondieBee I remember the previous post and photo - OP, please consider professional counselling because it seems like whatever random mners are saying, it's not helping you feel any better about your (perfectly normal) looks.

Intriguedbythis · 10/08/2023 15:56

You look absolutely lovely.

Raknin76 · 13/01/2024 02:30

They weren't expecting a come back and you should have given them one to shut them up! A witty one liner can do wonders in that kind of scenario

coxesorangepippin · 13/01/2024 02:46

You look totally normal

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