Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Looking ugly

68 replies

Tinker766 · 09/08/2023 00:33

Hi everyone, I'm feeling very low at the moment, I've been extremely insecure about my appearance, today I went out to the cinema with my daughter and while on our journey to the cinema, we got on a very busy bus, I had to stand and bus was crammed up I was standing near two teenage girls about 15/16 year old, as I looked their direction they started staring at me and then laughed out loud with each other, I ignored them and tried to not look at them with being so near to them I heard them say, my god she's Fugly as F##k, they were laughing and smirking the whole journey, I eventually could sit down and went to the back of the bus with my daughter, they were still staring and laughing uncontrollably, I felt so awkward and uncomfortable, this has happened before and Ive been laughed at in the past, I try and look decent and I try and dress smart, even lost 3 stone recently, but feel I do get stared at alot when outside, but it's usually a look of disgust and contempt, I'm 47 and I do have issues with social anxiety, but I have this anxiety due to being laughed at in the past, I feel some days I look okay but today I must of looked odd or weird or something, this has went on on/off since my early 20s, I sometimes think my face looks odd, I've been told I'm ugly looking by some men in the past that my eyes are too big and googly, that my face is long and my nose is big, I thought I had acromegaly and had tests done to rule it out, I don't have it, but the doctor did say my features like my eyes are very prominent, but no other testing was done, this is how I looked today on the bus, am I that ugly looking that I'm being singled out and laughed at, I leave the house thinking I look okay but then this happens, it's not the first time this has happened either, I've had random people just stare at me, then laugh with their hand over their mouths as if embarrassed by doing this, it's so obvious to me they are laughing at me. Thankyou

Looking ugly
OP posts:
Inthisdress · 09/08/2023 01:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Theblacksheepandme · 09/08/2023 01:46

OP I think you sound vulnerable and as kind as people might think they're being, nit picking what you could improve on definitely won't help.

Fraaahnces · 09/08/2023 01:49

They may not have been laughing at you at all. You need to stop isolating your features and pulling yourself apart like that. You are more than the sun of your features you are also the person inside. Please get some counselling. Most people are focused only on themselves and what’s going on in their own lives. Not on you.

Octosaurus · 09/08/2023 01:55

Oh my goodness. You are not ugly. And even if you looked like Quasimodo, whoever is behaving like that and laughing has serious issues and I would be more concerned about them than how you look. It's a shame you feel this way OP and I think thanks to media etc we all blow looks out of proportion in our heads. We are all on this earth for a reason and no idiot can stand in your way of enjoying your time here. Place less weight on the habits of silly people and feel sorry that they are caring so much over something so irrelevant.

Theblacksheepandme · 09/08/2023 01:57

Fraaahnces · 09/08/2023 01:49

They may not have been laughing at you at all. You need to stop isolating your features and pulling yourself apart like that. You are more than the sun of your features you are also the person inside. Please get some counselling. Most people are focused only on themselves and what’s going on in their own lives. Not on you.

They probably were laughing at her but they would have done it to anyone standing there. Teenagers can be gobshites. The counselling is great advice if OP can get it. If we are more confident in ourselves it becomes easier to deal with gobshites. Unfortunately a teenage gobshite only grows up to remain one in adulthood.

Zoommeout · 09/08/2023 02:16

I’m not saying this to make you feel better - but you most definitely are not ugly.

my doctor told me women lacking in b vitamins can end up with anxiety. I take sublingual drops and it has made a noticeable difference to me

RosaCaramella · 09/08/2023 02:21

You have beautiful big eyes and a lovely face. I know some teenagers can be gigly about anything but those girls were just downright rude. Sadly there are too many people who are like this and not just kids. A know it’s hurtful - I still remember random strangers (mostly men) commenting on my size 30 odd years ago. But I now just think how sad they were that they thought it was ok to treat another person like that. Please try to rise above it if it happens again - their opinions / behaviour is on them and nothing to do with you. Xx

OtterInDisgrace · 09/08/2023 02:24

You’re not ugly, OP. You are attractive. But the problem with this kind of post and the responses is that you’re basing your entire self-worth on other people’s perceptions. So these girls you thought were laughing at you made you feel like shit, and now these responses you’re getting will be making you feel better about yourself.

i know you may think that’s easy for me to say but it really isn’t as I suffer with body dysmorphia. You need to find a way to self-soothe. Relying on the reactions of others - real or perceived - isn’t healthy.

Scotty12 · 09/08/2023 02:32

You look absolutely lovely, and completely normal! Teenagers can be so mean!

cruisingwater · 09/08/2023 02:32

Sorry this happened to you today. Although really the girls could have been laughing at anything, not specifically you.

I would never, ever look at you and think you are unattractive- so far from it!!! You look lovely, presentable and obvious you take care in your appearance. I also think you look younger than your age. You have kind eyes and a lovely face.

Well done re the weight loss that will do such wonders for your future health.

I think we all feel how you have today at some point. I sometimes feel like I look ok leaving the house, good even, to then see a photo or reflection and am like oh man I really don't look great / how I thought I did in the mirror! It makes me feel shit for a bit but then I'm like sod it we only have what we have and not all blessed with model looks. Someone loves us somewhere for who we are. Our faces are for communicating not for looking pretty. Remember you are a fantastic person.

Anyway, in summary you look great. Please ignore any comments or opinions you think others think of you xxx

fullbloom87 · 09/08/2023 02:42

Are you joking?? You're beautiful! Going by your picture I'm utterly shocked that anyone would say such horrible things about your looks!
To be quite honest those teenage girls must have disgusting ugly souls to comment on anybody. My daughters would never in a million years ever make someone feel so rotten. Obviously nobody's ever loved them so pitta them don't let their worlds define you.

You have gorgeous eyes and skin and are doing great for 47. You look a bit Spanish or Italian, the way you described yourself is completely different to your photo btw .

Summer2424 · 09/08/2023 02:48

Hi @Tinker766
Omg you are NOT ugly! Please don't think that. You have a gorgeous face! Ignore any stupid comments, people who do that have their own personal issues and try to take out their frustration on others with this bullying behaviour. And what's the thing that will hurt the most, saying something about someones appearance when in fact there's nothing wrong with that person xx

LordSalem · 09/08/2023 03:29

WHAT? OP you look lovely, you're certainly very pretty. Teenagers are absolute bastards, far worse than they used to be. And they know that people fear saying anything in retaliation to their bullshit. They also are far more likely to double down and physically attack if anyone does dare stand up to them.
They are full of shit. This being a perfect example. Please don’t think less of yourself over an encounter with a couple of kids who don’t know how to behave. It is very much their problem, not yours at all Flowers

Britintheusa · 09/08/2023 03:29

Whhaaaat?? You are beautiful! Horrible girls.

Midnightstar76 · 09/08/2023 03:35

Oh my goodness OP you are not at all ugly! You look a very striking beautiful lady. Honestly what idiots these kids are.

LuckyPeonies · 09/08/2023 03:37

Goodness me, ugly?? Absolutely not, in fact you are quite attractive!

IncompleteSenten · 09/08/2023 03:38

You aren't ugly.
You look fine.
People can be shits.

MissedItByThisMuch · 09/08/2023 04:49

You are objectively very attractive OP but, given you consider yourself “ugly” despite that, I doubt it will help you in the longer term however many of us say so. I think you might benefit from some counselling around self esteem issues.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 09/08/2023 04:52

I mean this 100% honestly. You’re not ugly by any stretch of the imagination. You’re attractive. Are you sure it’s not your insecurities getting to you!? I can’t believe people would laugh at you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you look whatsoever! It’s really strange!

Cinnamope · 09/08/2023 05:22

Wow I was not expecting your photo after that text! You look FINE! You are not ugly.

ErinAoife · 09/08/2023 05:34

You look very nice and don't look 47. If you think you are ugly, I must be horrendous, I will love to look like you.

Chellybelle · 09/08/2023 05:42

That's not the picture I was expecting. You look totally normal to me. I can't understand why anyone would look at you and laugh. There's nothing that stands out beyond any other normal looking person, unless you act strange in real life.

ForThisPost1 · 09/08/2023 06:43

You are beautiful! I love these big eyes.

I think today's youth often equate "not young"i.e.(over 25) to "not pretty" which is the unfortunate culture they are socked into. There is nothing to do with you.

Catsmere · 09/08/2023 06:51

You look entirely normal and perfectly unremarkable. Those teenagers were obnoxious little shits whose opinions are worth less than nothing. They're probably school bullies.

Janieforever · 09/08/2023 06:51

Goodness. I didn’t expect that photo after reading your op. You’re attractive. The girls were just being little shits. It was nothing to do with your looks. At all. You are clearly an attractive woman.