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Original poster

DH leaving me - what job can I look at to earn as much as possible?

162 replies

changename875467 · 08/08/2023 16:49

Husband has told me he wants to separate. We have children, one of whom is a small baby.
Pre maternity leave I currently work part time, earning circa 12k/year for childcare reasons and obviously will need to change that when he leaves as he is the main earner, much higher than me but I can't see him being able to support us both living in our own homes.

What jobs could I look at that pay well? I have a first class degree from a good uni if it's relevant, and currently work in education but would probably look to move sectors.

OP posts:
BlossomCloud · 08/08/2023 19:38

What is the your degree in?

It would probably be best to look for a sideways/upwards move that builds on your past career and /or work experience rather than completely starting from scratch

1037370E · 08/08/2023 19:39

I am also a qualified counsellor, and have been running a private practice online for the past 5 years, £65 per session. Flexible hours, working from home, but I found it emotionally draining - hence my return to the Civil Service.

DrSbaitso · 08/08/2023 19:39

FamBae · 08/08/2023 18:32

Is this a reverse?

I've never known a man who's leaving his wife to post on here asking how she can earn as much money as possible without him, presumably while caring for children including a baby.

greyhairnomore · 08/08/2023 19:39

LeavesOnTrees · 08/08/2023 16:56

I immediately thought Estate Agent, especially if you're well presented and easy going with people.
If not, you could try accountancy.

Estate agents are on extremely low wages. They rely on commission.

greyhairnomore · 08/08/2023 19:41

fullbloom87 · 08/08/2023 18:15

@RudsyFarmer anyone has the right to chase maintenance married or not. Plus there's only marital assets...if there's marital assets.

As we see on MN all the time , men get away without paying maintenance.

TheaBrandt · 08/08/2023 19:44

The sahm returners I know pretty much all went back to what they were doing before and were welcomed with open arms despite having in some cases years out.

Smart sensible women 40 something women who are not going to take Mat leave and are already trained up (albeit rusty) were snapped up.

NetZeroZealot · 08/08/2023 19:50

Can you retrain as an accountant?

Well paid once you get established and flexible so you can wfh when kids are older.

HeyMicky · 08/08/2023 19:55

I would look at training and education roles in well paying sectors - pharma, software, utilities

BLT24 · 08/08/2023 20:02

NeverEnoughCake2 · 08/08/2023 17:00

I've a friend who did accountancy qualifications as a way to a reliably well-paid career post-divorce. She was able to study while working in related roles, so kept earning while getting qualified

As a qualified accountant with 7 years post qualification experience (ten years in total). I have lots of experience in this area. Starting salary for a full time accounts assistant with no experience is 18-20k. There are 5 possible accountancy qualifications, you would probably need to find an employer who will offer study support to find this, as costs can run into 20k+.

However I wouldn’t underestimate the amount of work involved in qualifying. I spent every weekend and every evening for 3 years studying around working full time, you get a break between exams so for four months of the year. I honestly don’t think this is an easy option with children as you would literally never see them. You could increase the years you take to do the qualification and spread it out but still very very time consuming.

With each exam passed you should expect a pay rise and once qualified expect to be earning
35k with three years experience (newly qualified)
40k with five years experience
45k-55k with five - ten experience
and 55k + over ten experience

Certainly not a quick or easy way to earn a good salary

I managed a large team once I’d qualified and had several parents in my team attempt to start studying but then had to give up due to not having the time to dedicate to it, they are still on 25k after working for ten years but no qualification.

Youdoyoubabe · 08/08/2023 20:03

Train in Cyber Security. The training is only a couple of months and it pays well. You can work remotely.

wlana · 08/08/2023 20:03

Can you take on private tutoring clients in order to remain in the education sector?

freetheunicorn1 · 08/08/2023 20:05

What is your degree in? What experience do you have? What skills do you have? What do you consider well paid?

kinderbuenoyum · 08/08/2023 20:06

Youdoyoubabe · 08/08/2023 20:03

Train in Cyber Security. The training is only a couple of months and it pays well. You can work remotely.

Do you have any course recommendations please?

MichelleScarn · 08/08/2023 20:07

i can't see him being able to support us both living in our own homes

He doesn't have to support you financially but he does his children!

onlylovecanhurtlikethis · 08/08/2023 20:11

He doesn't have to support you financially but he does his children!

If he goes for 50/50 custody he isn't obliged to pay maintenance at all

GameOverBoys · 08/08/2023 20:16

Plumbing apprenticeship - good money, solid job

Fuckingfuming1 · 08/08/2023 20:19

Fraaahnces · 08/08/2023 16:59

Does he have life insurance? Hitman. Two birds… one bullet.

You’ve no idea how much I wish I had 15 years ago. I would’ve been out by now.

Fuckingfuming1 · 08/08/2023 20:19

Fuckingfuming1 · 08/08/2023 20:19

You’ve no idea how much I wish I had 15 years ago. I would’ve been out by now.

Show quote history

Sadly, you can’t benefit from the proceeds of crime but she could leave the money for the children

Fuckingfuming1 · 08/08/2023 20:21

kinderbuenoyum · 08/08/2023 20:06

Do you have any course recommendations please?

Show quote history

I actually just laughed out loud. The training is absolutely not a few months and the competition is enormous. There are cyber security professionals who haven’t worked this year when their contracts and did last. Those guys have degrees in computer, science and years of DevOps experience behind them.

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 08/08/2023 20:22

What about some of the government boot camp courses. Some of the cyber security look like they have potential

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 08/08/2023 20:23

Well that was awkward cross posting

good luck op

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 08/08/2023 20:25

If you’re planning to do 50/50 then perhaps it’s better for you to do condensed hours over less days.

My friend is a HCA in the NHS and does 12 hour shifts over 3 days.

I believe there are quite a few jobs in the NHS that allow you to do this and so it’s worth looking on the NHS website to see what’s in your area.

Campervangirl · 08/08/2023 20:33

Fraaahnces · 08/08/2023 16:59

Does he have life insurance? Hitman. Two birds… one bullet.

Brilliant 😂

suburbophobe · 08/08/2023 20:34

^Fraaahnces · Today 16:59
Does he have life insurance? Hitman. Two birds… one bullet.^

Do love Mumsnet for the wonderful humour....

Sorry you're going through this OP. As a solo mum of one who is now 32, believe me, you will get through this.

I cleaned houses before getting back into training and ended up with a great job.

The road is hard but the destination is wonderful. Hang on in there,