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Original poster

DH leaving me - what job can I look at to earn as much as possible?

162 replies

changename875467 · 08/08/2023 16:49

Husband has told me he wants to separate. We have children, one of whom is a small baby.
Pre maternity leave I currently work part time, earning circa 12k/year for childcare reasons and obviously will need to change that when he leaves as he is the main earner, much higher than me but I can't see him being able to support us both living in our own homes.

What jobs could I look at that pay well? I have a first class degree from a good uni if it's relevant, and currently work in education but would probably look to move sectors.

OP posts:
Sunnysummeragain · 08/08/2023 17:53

😂

Sunnysummeragain · 08/08/2023 17:53

Sunnysummeragain · 08/08/2023 17:53

😂

Sorry I was trying to quote the hitman poster.

Usernamen · 08/08/2023 17:57

changename875467 · 08/08/2023 16:49

Husband has told me he wants to separate. We have children, one of whom is a small baby.
Pre maternity leave I currently work part time, earning circa 12k/year for childcare reasons and obviously will need to change that when he leaves as he is the main earner, much higher than me but I can't see him being able to support us both living in our own homes.

What jobs could I look at that pay well? I have a first class degree from a good uni if it's relevant, and currently work in education but would probably look to move sectors.

Well, what did you do before you jacked it in to work part-time to facilitate your husband’s career? Why not get back into that? I’m sure with a first class degree you were doing something that pays decently for full-time roles.

MavisBeacon1234 · 08/08/2023 18:03

FoodFann · 08/08/2023 17:24

Recruitment or sales

Recruitment is not as high paying as it once was. Also a lot of companies are making redundancies

OhamIreally · 08/08/2023 18:09

RudsyFarmer · 08/08/2023 16:57

Well He can’t just abdicate all his responsibilities and fuck off. What’s his plan in terms of shared childcare costs and maintenance? Housing for the children etc?

Yes he can actually. Just fuck off into the sunset, pay minimal child maintenance and that's it. Job done.

OP gets to raise the kids on her own.

Sorry this is happening to you OP. You're asking the right question. My vote would go for IT Security consultant. Well paid, flexible, can probably get a wfh job.

fullbloom87 · 08/08/2023 18:13

LeavesOnTrees · 08/08/2023 16:56

I immediately thought Estate Agent, especially if you're well presented and easy going with people.
If not, you could try accountancy.

Definitely not estate agency. It's not well paid unless you run your own. Plus its long hours and very demanding and sucks your soul out having to deal with customers at all hours.

RudsyFarmer · 08/08/2023 18:14

OhamIreally · 08/08/2023 18:09

Yes he can actually. Just fuck off into the sunset, pay minimal child maintenance and that's it. Job done.

OP gets to raise the kids on her own.

Sorry this is happening to you OP. You're asking the right question. My vote would go for IT Security consultant. Well paid, flexible, can probably get a wfh job.

Show quote history

When you are married it’s just not as simple as that. The OP has the right to chase him for maintenance if he won’t discuss it and has the right to split the marital assets.

fullbloom87 · 08/08/2023 18:15

@RudsyFarmer anyone has the right to chase maintenance married or not. Plus there's only marital assets...if there's marital assets.

DinoRoar14 · 08/08/2023 18:16

RudsyFarmer · 08/08/2023 16:57

Well He can’t just abdicate all his responsibilities and fuck off. What’s his plan in terms of shared childcare costs and maintenance? Housing for the children etc?

He can.
She can pursue maintaince but that may not be a lot
But he can absolutly walk away from the kids.

There's no room for naivety

Rachaelrachael · 08/08/2023 18:16

Education recruitment pays well. No formal qualifications required and your experience in Education will be a huge bonus. The downside is that the hours are really long including early mornings.

fullbloom87 · 08/08/2023 18:17

What is your degree in? What did you do before you were a mum?
Your husband seems like a vile piece of sh*t btw.

CatOnAMushroom · 08/08/2023 18:18

Consider how you'll manage childcare, school holiday care, sick days etc if your Ex decides to do none of this. (Which is obviously morally abhorrent but completely within his power to choose )

Have you looked into what benefits you'll be entitled to on a low wage? And had legal advice on the financial side of separating
It may make more sense to stay in a low paid role

I'm a lone parent with a slightly above average wage and the stress of childcare along with dealing with absolutely everything else continues to be a major problem

Illiapiblo · 08/08/2023 18:19

yokuscrocus · 08/08/2023 17:08

depends whether you want to earn as much as possible right now or if you are prepared to have a year or so fallow to retrain into a higher earning career. The latter will certainly make you more in the long run but would be painful short term.

And what would you say in each case?

Illiapiblo · 08/08/2023 18:20

HawthornLantern · 08/08/2023 17:52

If you have the right type of skills, think about training for cyber security. I'm currently in the US and they are crying out for people to retrain - there's a shortage and I imagine that you will have job security for life and potentially job flexibility (guessing there, I must be honest). UK could be very similar.

What are the right type of skills?

frazzledasarock · 08/08/2023 18:20

Air traffic controller. But it involves shift work if you want to get a really high salary.

Illiapiblo · 08/08/2023 18:20

MintJulia · 08/08/2023 17:49

It depends how much income you need and where you can work.

Technical marketing is reasonably well paid, often involves home working 4 days a week and if you have a good degree, you should find a post grad CIM qualification quite easy.

If you relate that to your Education sector experience, and look for work in a tech company selling into Education, you could do well pretty quickly. £80k within 3 years is not impossible

Could you share more information about technical marketing?

DaisyThistle · 08/08/2023 18:23

wonderstuff · 08/08/2023 17:27

Teaching isn’t very highly paid, but not awful money, I think £28k starting, but you do get the holidays which if you don’t have family support could be very valuable, depending on your degree you could get a good bursary while you train. I’d only look at secondary though, primary teachers work crazy, crazy hours.

That really surprises me. I'd have thought secondary teachers would work much longer hours. Longer school days, far more marking, teaching at a higher specialist level needing to get to grips with curriculum updates, needing to support pupils during external exams and uni entrance etc.

RudsyFarmer · 08/08/2023 18:24

fullbloom87 · 08/08/2023 18:15

@RudsyFarmer anyone has the right to chase maintenance married or not. Plus there's only marital assets...if there's marital assets.

Well then are their marital assets and if so the OP should pursue those and if he doesn’t want to pay maintenance he should be pursued for that also. Hence me saying he doesn’t get to just walk away and demand OP find an immediate well paying job whilst juggling a baby.

RudsyFarmer · 08/08/2023 18:24

*there

DaisyThistle · 08/08/2023 18:25

If you are any good at maths, I know some very calm, well paid accountants who basically work 9-5 and never a moment more. Not a lie-awake-at-night-with-stress job, from what they say.

Really sorry he has done this to you. He needs to support you and HIS children fully while you still have a small baby. Pathetic worm that he is, walking out on a baby.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 08/08/2023 18:28

What's your degree in? What previous roles have you had?

Jl2014 · 08/08/2023 18:28

learn tech or coding through an agent that gets women into tech jobs. If you can get a role in a big bank or equivalent you will earn well and get good flexibility for looking after your child.

FamBae · 08/08/2023 18:32

Is this a reverse?

AmazingSnakeHead · 08/08/2023 18:33

If you can bear it then use maternity leave to retrain. I think that coding and tech are good shouts if you are good with numbers. You can do quite a few of these form home also. What was your degree in?

Usernamen · 08/08/2023 18:40

RudsyFarmer · 08/08/2023 18:24

Well then are their marital assets and if so the OP should pursue those and if he doesn’t want to pay maintenance he should be pursued for that also. Hence me saying he doesn’t get to just walk away and demand OP find an immediate well paying job whilst juggling a baby.

Show quote history

But in the short to medium term the OP has got to fend for herself. You don’t just click your fingers and half the marital assets are yours to liquidate and the appropriate level of maintenance falls into your bank account every month.

And looking ahead, maintenance is only so much, OP will need to work very hard to get anywhere near the standard of living she had while she lived with a much higher earning partner, especially as she has pulled back from her career to look after babies and set herself back years.