Crohn’s Disease- humiliated by receptionist at doctors

[KnittingMania]

I’m at doc surgery rn waiting for my appt. I have Crohn’s Disease and have to access toilet unexpectedly up to 12 times a day or more. So Sod’s Law it happened while waiting here. Immediately after I exited the toilet, having tried my best to mitigate odours by cleaning etc, the receptionist bustled out and went straight into toilet, huffed loudly, went elsewhere with lots of door banging and came back with air freshener. She then sprayed it not just in toilet but throughout the reception kind of passageway that is in clear view of the waiting area.

I cannot help being ill. I avoid so many things bc of this miserable and embarrassing illness. I thought I could feel safe at doc’s. They could provide air freshener in the toilet. But my point is wider- no one should be shamed by their illness in a doc surgery.

I would like to complain. Should I? It’s kind of embarrassing doing this. But I feel she should learn and raise her levels of understanding.

'striking a match and blowing it out almost immediately works'

Not sure that's a good idea tbh, smoke from extinguished matches might set off smoke alarms? I don't know, they possibly aren't that sensitive but it would seem a rather risky thing to do in case not put out properly. We don't want the practice going up in flames.

Whilst yes, I agree that she was over the top about it, understandably people in the waiting room do not want to be smelling shit for the next 10 minutes whilst they wait for their own appointment. She should have been more discreet about it tbh. I see it from both sides.

Does it matter? She should be treating people with respect regardless. The OP has done nothing wrong.

A spray of VIP into a loo bowl would set off an anaphylactic reaction? I'm sorry I didn't realise. That must be incredibly hard to live with

What about a squirt of bleach or zoflora, one could decant into a travel sized bottle, same result?

This!!

The air freshener could have made people seriously unwell, unlike a toilet smell which is temporary

OP ! I am EXACTLY the same & although she acted totally childish & unprofessionally, I too would struggle using a toilet, someone has just poo'd in !!!
You're own freshener spray/small perfume/body spray should be as attached to your bag, as are your keys! Same as your disability key you own, I would imagine.

It's just not something I would forget, knowing that so many toilets do not provide air freshener and you know yourself how unexpected an urgent bowel movement can be and the awful smell this disease causes!

She shouldn't have been so dramatic
You shouldn't have forgotten your spray! The spray/ you NEED to allieviate the smell and allieviate your embarrassment!

I have one in every bag, you should too!

Safe striking of match - do it over the sink. Takes just 1 second, tops.
I very much doubt smoke detectors will be affected either.

Plain bleach I can cope with personally. It could set off a serious reaction for my dad.

None of that is relevant- the op shouldn’t have to carry a bottle of bleach around because some people are prissy about bodily functions. Especially in a doctor’s office where ill people go.

Last time someone sprayed something in my face accidentally I didnt cough a bit, I ended up being rushed through A&E

Spraying air freshner around liberally would probably trigger my asthma. I might not need A&E but I certainly shouldnt be having asthma attacks at my GPs where they should have an understanding of respiratory conditions

I think she was wrong to do the huffing and puffing. But fair enough to spray air freshener.

Nobody NEEDS a spray. Human beings have existed for many many years before the invention of air freshener without dying from smelling a bit of poo

Have you ever walked into a room and had your lips and tongue start swelling? Had hives popping out all over and your blood pressure dropping? It’s ever so fun.

@Ifeelsuchflutterings

OP said she forgot her spray!

Nobody said anybody needs spray...🙄

I promise not all doctors receptionists are like this. Me and my colleagues would all be horrified if we had upset a patient, and would certainly not act in the way the receptionist at OPs surgery acted or the way the one in your surgery acted.

We do our job because we care and want to make a difficult time easier for our patients

I apologise for my phrasing - realised how it might sound as soon as I posted. Am really sensitive and professional and indeed, have a close relative who is doubly incontinent, however there are those who (according to family members) deliberately don’t wash either themselves or their clothes and point blank refuse to take care of their own basic hygiene. No diagnosed MH issues etc. It is very frustrating and unnecessary.

OP, so sorry to hear this happened to you, if you feel you can complain, please do. I'm sad that you didn't get the compassion and professionalism that you should have had from the receptionist.
I believe we need more open conversations about bowel symptoms, as many people suffer from urgency and/or incontinence, which can be horrific to live with and so many people get an ignorant uncaring response. It could happen to any of us.
Stomas seem to be being discussed more openly recently, so hopefully other bowel related problems will too.
Just to mention on a slightly different but related point, in case anyone would find it helpful, many charities such as the Bladder and Bowel Foundation can supply a "Can't Wait" card, like a credit card you keep in your wallet, it explains you have a medical condition and need to use a toilet urgently.
Showing this when you are desperate to staff in a shop can be useful.
All the very best to you, OP, and others with debilitating bowel issues 💐

'None of that is relevant- the op shouldn’t have to carry a bottle of bleach around because some people are prissy about bodily functions. Especially in a doctor’s office where ill people go.'

It's the GPs! Anyone could have anything, extreme nausea exacerbated by strong smells, anxiety exacerbated by strong smells, OCD anything.

I'm not suggesting anyone blasts anyone in the facs with a tin of glade but if you have a gastric issue causing excess smells that it is just courteous to think of others and drop something into the loo to offset any aromas.

No, I would not complain. She is only a human being with a job and a life like anyone else. She is not perfect. She had to get rid of the smell and disgust of smells is an automatic reaction. They are not allowed to leave air freshener in the loos for health and safety reasons.

That must have been dreadfully humiliating. BUT I couldn’t have sat in a waiting room with an awful smell permeating the place. I would have been retching non-stop. The receptionist could have been more discreet, but it was necessary to try to neutralise the odour.

And, as it happens, I have a whole host of bowel issues and live a much-curtailed life due to this.

It’s not what she did, but the way in which she went about it. Working in a surgery she should be aware that patients will have bowel disorders - if she’s not, then drawing her attention to the fact that her behaviour caused offence should make her think before doing it again.

Absolutely complain! What a prick of a woman, working in a medical office and would know exactly what Crohn's disease is and how it presents. I'd mention it to the doctor when you go in how upset you are. I have the disease myself and can only imagine how you must feel 😖 it's a horrible disease and nothing you can do about it!

I’m gonna have to bring up Poe’s Law here. You surely cannot be serious. This is ableist AF.

Shaming people aside, it's really dangerous for some patients to breathe in air freshener. This is something a medical receptionist should be told, if they don't already know.

‘Excess smells’ are not a quantifiable thing, the effects of spraying aerosolised chemicals is. “Someone might feel sick/anxious if they smell poo” does not outweigh someone having an asthma attack and being carted off to a&e.

And again, it doesn’t in any way justify shaming a disabled woman because of the symptoms she has no control over.

@Leavesofautumn mumsnet as a whole seems even more ableist than normal at the moment.