Crohn’s Disease- humiliated by receptionist at doctors

[KnittingMania]

I’m at doc surgery rn waiting for my appt. I have Crohn’s Disease and have to access toilet unexpectedly up to 12 times a day or more. So Sod’s Law it happened while waiting here. Immediately after I exited the toilet, having tried my best to mitigate odours by cleaning etc, the receptionist bustled out and went straight into toilet, huffed loudly, went elsewhere with lots of door banging and came back with air freshener. She then sprayed it not just in toilet but throughout the reception kind of passageway that is in clear view of the waiting area.

I cannot help being ill. I avoid so many things bc of this miserable and embarrassing illness. I thought I could feel safe at doc’s. They could provide air freshener in the toilet. But my point is wider- no one should be shamed by their illness in a doc surgery.

I would like to complain. Should I? It’s kind of embarrassing doing this. But I feel she should learn and raise her levels of understanding.

Oh I hate melodramatic air freshener wielders as a species (and I see we've found the target market for that ridiculous VIPoo stuff). The stuff makes me want to gag - I'd rather have to deal with the shocking realisation and potential slight fragrance, that someone's had a shit in the loo that I'm about to have a shit in before me than have a gob full of lingering Asda Smart Price Eau d'Angel's Nipple (cos it won't have been posh air freshener in the average GP surgery).

If you work in any form of healthcare you have to have some acceptance that you are likely to encounter ill people, and possibly some forms of enlightenment that people contain bodily fluids - or bugger off and work elsewhere. However GP receptionists do tend to attract a notable group of particularly unpleasant and judgemental buggers - we had the snarky one a few weeks ago when registering with a new practice who got all eye rolly in a judgemental way seeing autism on myself and my daughter's new patient forms... her brain nearly imploded when I gave her my work ID card as part of the identity stuff needed (I happened to have it nearest to hand) and it was a NHS ID for a professional job.

If she’d sprayed air freshener while I was in the room it would have set off an asthma attack, it is ridiculous for a doctors waiting room. By all means sanitise but be subtle about it and definitely don’t go spraying chemicals into the air!

So? People poo in toilets. Poo can smell. Some disabled people have conditions that make their poo smell stronger sometimes.

Non of this should be a surprise to you, and non of it is a reason to humiliate or shame a disabled person.

The automatic air fresheners are appalling.

I've had to give up on a day out before now and go home to recover, because a motion-triggered automatic air freshener in a pub toilet cubicle squirted a cloud of irritant directly down at my face, triggering an asthma attack that took ages to subside despite huge amounts of salbutamol and left me exhausted.

I've also had to endure a day-long migraine that came on while I was at an acquaintance's house — I didn't know initially why I was starting to get a migraine, but eventually realised they had an automated air pollutant top-up device in the room that was quietly farting out toxic stench at pre-programmed intervals.

My dh has IBS and the smell can be fairly strong - we have VIPoo - the bottle is basically handbag sized - and it absolutely does work. You just squirt it in the toilet bowl before you sit down.

The receptionist was rude and you should complain. But do get yourself a little bottle of VIPoo to carry in your handbag just in case.

I would email the practice manager and make them aware of how she behaved and how it made you feel. She should be more aware working in a medical environment - maybe it was just unthinking but it should be brought to her attention so it doesn’t happen again.

Why should she? If you don’t like the smell of toilets you spend your money on a nose clip and carry it in your handbag.

Also, as has already been explained- vipoo works by putting a film of scented oil over the water in a toilet bowl so that when a stool sinks below the water line the smell it trapped- this won’t work for people with bowel conditions who spray liquid poo all over the inside of the toilet bowl- it only works on stools that sink below it.

And that’s ignoring the fact that there may well not be time to dick about finding it and spraying it when someone has to go right then!

I have digestion issues. A bottle of neat lavender essential oil, vipoo as well as spare pants and a roll up pair of trousers in my case as well.

Her behaviour wasn’t discreet but neither is it great to be feeling a bit sick or be phobic and go into a toilet with has a bad smell. Unfortunately as someone with digestion issues I need to make sure the person after me isn’t affected.

A doctor's receptionist should be aware of the possibility that a patient who has to make a run for it to the loo is doing so because of some sort of illness. Her conduct would still be embarrassing if the cause was food poisoning or a stomach infection.

If you can’t accept that poo smells then don’t use public toilets

Actually I was suggesting the OP get a bottle of VIPoo for her own sake - so she doesn't ever have to feel embarrassed like this again - not for everyone else's sake.

And I don't know how it works, but my dh does indeed have the spraying type bowel condition, and it works even under that onslaught, so there must be something more to it. Otherwise we'd all just use cooking oil surely? Or any old oil.

Totally agree, she was rude and needs someone to give her a bollocking but anyone with digestive problems should carry a bottle of something for situations like this.

Those things are very expensive - why should the person have to spend out on that when other people could just do the decent thing and ignore the smell or deal with it more discreetly?

No advice, but I’m so sorry you have to go through this, OP. Crohn’s sounds like a real bastard.

These places are just the worst for shaming imo.

A few years back I had a nurse be like 'what's wrong with your stomach, is it a hernia?' When giving me a pelvic floor exam! There was nothing remotely hernia like going on. I'm not overweight. I have a slight tummy but nothing out of the ordinary that could be mistaken for something like that. She then made a comment about the hair at my bikini line!

And I realised she was obviously trying to make make me feel insecure.

I'm a confident person so just joked both these things off. But I always think back on it that I should have complained as she was trying to upset me whilst I was in a vulnerable position.

There's a lot of nasty people make it to positions of power over the vulnerable unfortunately. I've always thought anyone dealing in any way eith the sick, young or elderly, should have to have passed psych evaluations from two separate psychiatrist's to prove they don't suffer from underlying cluster b personality disorders or similar.

'If you can’t accept that poo smells then don’t use public toilets'

Well as proven by the op some folk don't get to choose. A bit of consideration for other users is all that is required.

I don’t find it works much at all, it just mixes the smell of poo with the smell of chemicals which sets my allergies off.

I had a really upset stomach once in a pub and someone was awful that the toilets smelled
Which is why I won't ever go at someone else's house, at work, or anywhere other than my home when I'm alone in it
I was about 14 at the time and she made me feel like it wasn't normal

Please don’t use any kind of spray or essential oil. It can trigger an allergic reaction or an asthma attack.

the receptionist shouldn’t even have air freshener in a medical office.

A few drops in the loo will not have everyone keeling over with allergic reactions. Yes perhaps if you walked up to somene sprayed VIPoo on their face it may cause a bit of coughing but no one is suggesting the op do that.

OP could come to consult her GP for any medical reason, nothing related to Crohn's, and still have needed to poo because of Crohn's.

This is the point about invisible disabilities.

But any patient could go in and find to their dismay that their is unexpectedly smelly, or worse, that they have produced a log. Even if they didn't have Crohn's and the like. If the receptionist then behaved as you descibed in your OP, it would still be unacceptable.

PS striking a match and blowing it out almost immediately works. A trick I used years ago when I was a CAB worker, and one of our clients had come with their baby, who filled his nappy during the course of the advice interview. As a smoker who preferred matches to lighters, I saved the day for the poor adviser in question, who had to continue seeing her next client in the same room.

OP has a chronic illness. You suggesting this makes you as bad as the receptionist tbh

Your post gave me a wry smile SabbatWheel. I’ve got a congenital disability which means I have virtually no control over bowel, so I can well imagine what went on in your kitchen that day - and I dare say I’ll have done similar myself !! And you’re right - people have absolutely no idea what you have to live with, or the lengths you have to go to to manage the condition. I worked full time until I could no longer cope, and the only way I could manage the condition at work was by not eating, and limiting myself to cold drinks, as hot tea/coffee tend to go ‘straight through’. Some people just wouldn’t let it drop that they never saw me eat at work, and badgered for the reason - which I found quite distressing as it’s really nobody’s business but my own.

find...that their poo *is unexpectedly smelly

You know how my allergies work better than me do you? Incredible.