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Tell me a profession

61 replies

TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 13:35

and I'll give you a joke..

OP posts:
snowmeltsonthebeach · 14/12/2004 13:36

occupational therapist

WigWamBam · 14/12/2004 13:40

Stage Manager

5goldendillydallys · 14/12/2004 13:40

Candyfloss maker?

TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 13:42

"How many therapists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: one to screw it in and four to talk about it..."

OP posts:
TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 13:43

A stage Manager, a Sound Technician and a Lighting Designer find a bottle in a corner of the theatre. One of them rubs it and a genie pops out.

"Since you all found me," he says "you each get one wish." The Sound Technician steps up and says, "I'd like a million dollars and three beautiful women." POOF! - The Sound Tech is gone.

The Lighting Designer steps up and says, "Well, if he can have that, I'd like TEN million dollars, and my own personal island with fifteen beautiful women!" POOF! The Lighting Designer is gone.

The Stage Manager steps up and says, "I'd like them both back in ten minutes."

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 14/12/2004 13:43

Saggar maker's bottom knocker.

skiingawhitexmas · 14/12/2004 13:45

System analyst/computer programmer

TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 13:57

The Salesman, the Systems Analyst, and the Bear

The computer salesman and the computer systems analyst went to spend a weekend bear-hunting in the forest together.

They hired a log cabin, and when they got there, took their backpacks off and put them inside.

At that point the computer salesman said to the systems analyst: "You unpack while I go and find us a bear."

The systems analyst finished unpacking and then went and sat outside to drink a beer and await events. He did not have to wait too long.

Soon he could hear loud noises in the forest. The noises grew nearer -- and suddenly there was the salesman tearing across the clearing toward the cabin, pursued by one of the largest and most ferocious Brown Bears the analyst had ever seen.

"Open the door!" shouted the salesman. The analyst opened the cabin door. The salesman ran toward the door, then suddenly stopped and stepped to the side.

The bear, carried by its momentum, tumbled though the door and disappeared inside.

The salesman promptly shut the door on it, turned, looked at the analyst, and said:

"OK, you skin that one while I go rustle us up another."

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 14/12/2004 14:00

Where's my saggar maker's bottom knocker joke then?

TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 14:01

wait for it, wait for it a girl can only type so

OP posts:
BRANdybutter · 14/12/2004 14:02


WigWamBam · 14/12/2004 14:08

5goldendillydallys · 14/12/2004 14:09

I believe my candyfloss maker was first
shuffles boobs skywards a la Les dawson

TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 14:09

More a statement than a joke...

'Great job title',
I'll probably remember until I die, is 'sagger-maker's bottom-knocker'. Every year one of the English newspapers published a list of all occupations recognised by some trades council, and how many people were so occupied. For a couple of decades one of the rarest occupations was 'sagger-maker's bottom-knocker'--invariably
less than a dozen. Eventually, that occupation no longer showed up, so my father tried to find out what mysterious skill had vanished from the workforce.

As I understand it, a sagger is a large clay pot or box, used to store smaller items when the smaller items are being fired in a kiln. You fill the sagger, put it in the kiln, fill another, stack it on top of the first, and so on. The kilns can be thirty or forty feet tall inside, perhaps bigger, so you could have a stack of fifteen or twenty saggers. Obviously,
you have to be sure they're strong enough to handle weight on top of them.
A weak sagger at the bottom of a stack could mean the loss of twenty saggers' contents. How does the sagger-maker know his saggers are up to scratch? Once they're made and cooled he has someone tap the bottom to check by sound if the clay is consistent and solid. That person is a sagger-maker's bottom-knocker.

Now, at least as far as the trades council goes, a forgotten occupation. But wouldn't you love to say that at the pub when asked what you did for a living? "I'm a sagger-maker's bottom-knocker."

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 14/12/2004 14:11

Sorry, 5goldendillydallys, didn't see you there, wasn't meaning to push in ...

5goldendillydallys · 14/12/2004 14:12

Ne'er mind, releases boobs to waist position

WigWamBam · 14/12/2004 14:13

Oh - someone else with boobs like mine then .

WigWamBam · 14/12/2004 14:13

Although sometimes I think "knee position" is more apt ...

skiingawhitexmas · 14/12/2004 14:15

Now now 5gdds patience is such a virtue....
Fantastic occupation tho...yummity now.....

msann · 14/12/2004 14:15

digger driver

TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 14:15


A historian, an engineer and a statistician are duck hunting. a duck rises from the lake. the historian fires first, and shoots 10' over the duck. then the engineer shoulders the shotgun and shoots 10' under the duck. the statistician exclaimed "got him!".

OP posts:
TumbleflumpDancingBum · 14/12/2004 14:18

Digger Driver ...

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day.
One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?"
"I don't know," responded the other.
"I'll ask him."
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss.
"Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?"
"Intelligence," the boss said.
"What do you mean, 'intelligence'?"
The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can."
The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss moved his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree.
The boss said, "That's intelligence!"
The ditch digger went back to his hole.
His friend asked, "What did he say?"
"He said we are down here because of intelligence."
"What's intelligence?" said the friend.
The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said: "Take your shovel, and hit my hand!"

OP posts:
msann · 14/12/2004 14:23

hehe my dp will b most upset by that 1!!

TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 14/12/2004 14:26

freelance journalist

TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 14/12/2004 14:27

website designer

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