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Original poster

First Driving Lesson Today - SHITTING MYSELF!!!

66 replies

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 13:11

Talk some sense into me, please!

I had about 5 lessons when I was 18. Hated it. Instructor shouted at me all the time. I used to come home crying. Gave it up. Never tried again.

42 now and for reasons blah blah I really need to learn to drive. I have my first lesson today in an automatic and I am a wreck. Will I be expected to go on the road today? Reassure me an automatic is so much easier. I'm wibbling about cancelling and I really can't. <cries like a baby>

OP posts:
Dombasle · 03/08/2023 13:14

I don't like automatic cars, manual gears are much easier in my opinion but that's personal choice.

Hopefully you will have an instructor this time who is calm.

Don't be sucked into having too many lessons though if you're anxious.

Some unscrupulous instructors see nervous drivers as a cash cow.

Keep calm and in control of your nerves as best you can.

You can do it.

Iloveanicegarden · 03/08/2023 13:16

Don't worry. your instructor will be able to correct or stop you if necessary. Automatics are easier to drive cos you have one less thing to worry about.

amyg1985 · 03/08/2023 13:17

I feel your pain. I passed my test when I was 17 but hated driving and avoided it for almost 20 years. During lockdown I decided I needed to drive so booked some refresher lessons in an automatic.

Automatic is SO much easier. It's also a very different experience learning as an (older) adult - you are much more equipped to recognise whether an instructor's style is right for you and to do something about it if it's not (whether it's shouting or, to be honest when I was 17, a bit pervy). You absolutely do not have to stay with an instructor who shouts at you.

You won't go straight out onto the road. Maybe a bit of stop and starting in a quiet area. Don't worry - they're used to it and have seen it all.

You can do it!!

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SheWontSheCantShesLeft · 03/08/2023 13:20

It will be fine, I promise. More than fine.

Like you, I had a few lessons as a teen before giving up. I learnt again in my late 30s, in an automatic and passed first time.

The auto thing makes a big difference. Ignore those who are funny about it. Manual cars will soon be a thing of the past but it’s a subject I’ve learnt some people feel very strongly about so I just smile and nod!

What made a big difference to me when I leant the second time was that I had a lot more experience being a front seat passenger l. I’d been driving around with dh for years - that gave me loads Road sense that I didn’t have as a teen.

you got this! Good luck

OctoblocksAssemble · 03/08/2023 13:28

I'm you one year on. I definitely find auto easier, but a lot of my difficulty comes from my brain screaming at me that I shouldn't be on the road and I'm going to kill someone. Makes it really hard to actually focus on good driving.
Positives: * my instructor does not shout at me.
* I am improving, although at a slower than average pace.
* when I am making a good job of it I actually enjoy driving.

Negatives: I feel absolutely sick before a lesson, even after 10 months, because it's a process of getting comfortable on going round the carpark, then going on quiet roads, then busy roads etc, so continually pushing out of the comfort zone.

For reasons quitting isn't an option, so here I still am. I take far too much pleasure pointing out to my kids which roads I've driven on, and I do believe I will get there in the end.

Good luck, you can do it!!!

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 13:28

Thanks everyone!

I have a bottle of wine in the fridge for later 😂

Never been so nervous!

OP posts:
Natsku · 03/08/2023 13:31

This was me a few months ago, was so nervous before my first lesson but my instructor was really nice. She had me drive in an empty car park first and then asked if I felt comfortable and confident enough to try the (quiet) roads around the car park.
It was completely different to the lessons I had when I was 18.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 13:39

The thought of driving on the road makes me so anxious I could throw up!

OP posts:
Cosycover · 03/08/2023 13:42

Automatic is a million times easier. I did go on the road for my first lesson yes. I really wasn't expecting it.

Good luck! And let us know how it goes.

LauraDLoves · 03/08/2023 13:51

I am the same age as you and currently learning to drive (after several abandoned attempts when younger). I’m also learning in an Automatic and it was incredible how different an experience it was to a Manual. My first lesson had me driving along country lanes and busy city streets - no problem! I’ve been learning with one lesson a week for almost a year, so I’m inching towards doing my test. It takes longer to learn when you’re a bit older, but I feel like I’m almost there - and realising how amazing will it be to have a License at long last!

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 14:27

Cosycover · 03/08/2023 13:42

Automatic is a million times easier. I did go on the road for my first lesson yes. I really wasn't expecting it.

Good luck! And let us know how it goes.

Oh NO! Don't say that 😂😱

The thought of me driving on a road is...unthinkable!

OP posts:
VikingLady · 03/08/2023 14:30

I learnt last year (passed in February this year) in my 40s. Absolutely fucking terrified.

We spent most of the first couple of lessons at the empty end of a supermarket car park to get used to it all.

Good luck!

(If they make you uncomfortable or more scared, say so. You are paying them for a service, not abuse).

Paperbagsaremine · 03/08/2023 14:33

It is a lot easier. Automatics.
Re. your worry about driving on roads.
That is what the big L plates and the instructor with dual controls are for. I drove (not very fast) into a hedge because I didn't realise the difference between turning a moped and a steering wheel.ha.

The instructor is VERY motivated to keep you safe, because they are sitting in the same car a foot away!

Good luck OP. Deep breaths.Take it bit by bit and you can succeed.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 14:33

(If they make you uncomfortable or more scared, say so. You are paying them for a service, not abuse)

Very true.

She'll probably decline me as a learner after i've bounced her lovely new car off a few parked ones...

OP posts:
OctoblocksAssemble · 03/08/2023 14:44

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 14:33

(If they make you uncomfortable or more scared, say so. You are paying them for a service, not abuse)

Very true.

She'll probably decline me as a learner after i've bounced her lovely new car off a few parked ones...

She has a break pedal, and insurance! I've not hit anyone/thing yet, because if it's going to happen the instructor will jump in and stop the car.

NewDogOwner · 03/08/2023 14:57

It is a dual control car and the instructor is always the one in control of it. Think of it like that.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 16:11

Well I did it. Didn't enjoy one second of it. Had me driving up and down residential streets, turning left and right onto streets full of parked cars. Come home with a pounding head from stress! She didn't have to grab the wheel but did have to brake for me twice. There must be something missing in my brain because I struggled to remember to do the absolute basic things like checking mirrors, putting the car into neutral and drive, etc. I think she must have thought I was thick AF. Anyway I have another lesson on Monday so I will see if I am any better.

OP posts:
OctoblocksAssemble · 03/08/2023 16:14

Well done, @NoChanceYouMetalBastard , sounds like the lesson went really well.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 16:29

I don't know about that!

OP posts:
amyg1985 · 03/08/2023 16:36

@NoChanceYouMetalBastard - it's perfectly normal to forget the basics at the start. You have to just practice until it becomes second nature. I think you've done well! Enjoy your wine!

MaggieBsBoat · 03/08/2023 16:39

Yay! Congratulations! You will inspire me so I will follow your journey. I’m 50 and can’t yet but I know I must learn eventually.

Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 16:42

I feel like I have forgotten everything already! I'm still amazed she let me loose on roads with parked cars on both sides. I kept forgetting my left from my right. Not checking mirrors. Embarrassing.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 16:44

it's perfectly normal to forget the basics at the start.

I hope so! I felt like she was exasperated with me. I seemed to constantly forget that the road has two sides and was just pootling up the middle like I owned it. Hit the heady speed of 16mph and it felt like I was doing 100 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 16:44

Sorry, I meant to quote that line at the top about forgetting the basics. I FORGOT! 😂I think i'm hysterical.

OP posts:
Greenfree · 03/08/2023 16:47

I started a couple of weeks ago and have my 3rd 2 hour lesson this weekend. I find it terrifying but my confidence is growing, my second lesson was just driving around the block so I could get use to turning the car as I nearly crashed on my 1st lesson. I did go on some busier roads during my second lesson also (once the instructor felt I wouldn't crash). In still not good at breaking smoothly or checking my wing mirrors but will get there and so will you! I think automatic is so much easier than manual. Good luck for future lessons