First Driving Lesson Today - SHITTING MYSELF!!!

[NoChanceYouMetalBastard]

Talk some sense into me, please!

I had about 5 lessons when I was 18. Hated it. Instructor shouted at me all the time. I used to come home crying. Gave it up. Never tried again.

42 now and for reasons blah blah I really need to learn to drive. I have my first lesson today in an automatic and I am a wreck. Will I be expected to go on the road today? Reassure me an automatic is so much easier. I'm wibbling about cancelling and I really can't. <cries like a baby>

Stop being so hard on yourself - it's tough and scarey at the beginning! Harder too when you are that little bit older, and no longer think you are invincible the way you do at 17! Be proud of yourself for trying. You will get there.

Now I learned to drive when God was a little boy, when I was 17; passed my test after a LOT of lessons a couple of months before I turned 18. I didn't have any practice. My mum adamantly didn't want me to drive - she was so worried about it, but I defied her anyway and paid for my own lessons. I earned the princely sum of a fiver in my Saturday job and handed it to the driving instructor the following Friday.

I had lived in London and not driven for many years when I got a job that required me to drive, so I took refresher lessons with a lovely driving instructor. It was such a laugh! No test to worry about.

Many, many years later, same lovely instructor taught two of my kids to drive. Now he's like Peter Pan but he must be in his 70s. I asked him how much longer he was going to keep teaching. He said he would probably give it up when cars went mostly automatic!!

So there you go, long-winded anecdote just to say - the future is automatic!!

*NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 03/08/2023 16:11

There must be something missing in my brain because I struggled to remember to do the absolute basic things like checking mirrors, putting the car into neutral and drive, etc.

Not at all, it sounds entirely normal to me. You're bound to have been a bit nervous, there's a lot of thinking and co-ordination required to drive a car and it takes practice and training.

Sure, some lucky sods do ten lessons and fly through their test, but the vast majority don't.

Give yourself a pat on the back, you've done the hardest bit, you said you were bricking it, but you went and did it!

Well done, you!

Don’t beat yourself up. Starting up again after a number of years is a result in itself.

It’s absolutely normal to feel overwhelmed at first. There is a lot to learn. Keep at it with the lessons. The more you drive, the more your body and brain absorbs the info. It really will start to “click” a bit more.

Ignore anyone putting you down re it being an automatic car. Sod ‘em! Just remember that your goal is to be an independent driver in your vehicle of choice.

I learnt to drive, years ago, in a manual car. It’s now second nature to me and am a confident driver. Took my car in to be serviced last year and they brought my courtesy car round to the front for me (same model as my car). Just one big difference - it was an automatic! I’ve never driven one before and I flatly refused it. I wouldn’t have felt safe driving in a vehicle which I had no experience of before, I’d have been a danger to other road users. My “muscle memory” is too used to having 3 pedals and a gearstick.

My mum learned to drive at around your age. She was a nervous wreck, but kept going until she felt comfortable to take her test. She says it’s one of the best things she did. She never “loved” driving, but she did love the independence and freedom that it gave her.

Keep going, don’t be too hard on yourself and good luck for your next lesson.

It was a lesson of two halves! First half hour my nerves were terrible and I was forgetting everything. Instructor said, right we need to take you somewhere different. Second half of the lesson I was actually sat there thinking, I could do this. I remembered everything, mirrors, signalling, steering was good. I drove myself home!

I'm really sorry to hear your lesson wasn't good. Definitely a good idea to try another instructor. I hear that getting the right one for you is the key. Good luck!

Love your post - "when god was a little boy"!! Haha, stop it!

Glad you got there. You obviously had some iron determination!

Thanks for that. It actually really helped. I've been out on a works' leaving do tonight and I mentioned I was learning in an auto and my god, the response from the blokes. "that isn't real driving". Made me feel like a right muppet. Then I thought, well, so what? Thank you x

It is proper driving, by the way.

@NoChanceYouMetalBastard - no worries!

Yeah, definitely ignore them. I’ll start my comment with “NAMALT”, but you will get totally used to the fact that driving is one area where lots of guys seem to have a one-track mind. It gets really boring after awhile 🤣

Driving definitely isn’t a dick-swinging contest. Some of the worst driving I’ve seen has been by men.

So, keep going and keep building your confidence. And don’t feel pressured into taking your test or that you should be taking it after X amount of lessons - everyone and their dog will have an “oh, I only had 3 lessons and then I passed” type story!

Knowing what a big thing it was for my mum to learn back in the day, I have a real soft spot for those that try to do the same - and a “bog off” attitude to people that try to belittle it.

Great to see that your latest lesson went well - good luck with your next one.

I’m a trainee driving instructor. If anyone is being shouted at, or made to feel uncomfortable they really need to change instructors. It’s not modern practice to behave like that, the learning should be client lead and coaching lead rather than just instruction. It should be at your pace but each time stretched enough to put together more of the puzzle, which will click I promise, even if you think it won’t.

Having just passed the driving part of my training no learner should feel like a failure or bad at what they are doing, experienced drivers aren’t getting it right either. They just think they are. It’s a very different skill to other things with lots of multitasking so please don’t feel frustrated with yourself.

It’s however an amazing liberating skill to have so stick at it, one day you’ll be as confident as those who have done it for ages.

PS my first teaching car is a manual, I reckon the next will be auto because that’s where the demand will be, so those saying auto isn’t real driving will be in the minority once they experience the delights of an EV!

i passed at 25(?) in a manual and still hated driving. I must have drove a car about 3 times after and gave up. I remember NOTHING. I hated it so much. The fear was awful.

If you’d told me at the start of the year I’d be driving I would have laughed. Terrified.

But I’m 36 and I went for automatic lessons a few months ago. like you, I had to. and the first few nothing clicked. I couldn’t understand how I’d even passed a test. However after 2 months or so of weekly lessons we ended up running out of things to go over. 😂 So a car was bought and I’m on the road, I am a different person now and I love it 😂 I don’t know who I am.

Also automatics rock. Who needs that manual drama. 😜 I have a hybrid petrol/electric and I’m so pleased

@bozzabollix - what a lovely post. Good luck with the rest of your training, sounds like you’re going to make a great instructor.

@GoodMorningHoney - that’s brilliant and so encouraging for the OP.

Thanks so much, I hope so!

@NoChanceYouMetalBastard
op did you carry on with your lessons? I’m 47 and on lesson 3, still terrified and still can’t get used to speed or my position on the road. I was hoping you could tell me it gets better!