First Driving Lesson Today - SHITTING MYSELF!!!

[NoChanceYouMetalBastard]

Talk some sense into me, please!

I had about 5 lessons when I was 18. Hated it. Instructor shouted at me all the time. I used to come home crying. Gave it up. Never tried again.

42 now and for reasons blah blah I really need to learn to drive. I have my first lesson today in an automatic and I am a wreck. Will I be expected to go on the road today? Reassure me an automatic is so much easier. I'm wibbling about cancelling and I really can't. <cries like a baby>

Good luck!

My braking was terrible too. The brakes were so responsive that I was applying the tiniest amount of pressure and she was going, slow down, NO, slow down, so then I was panicking and stamping on it and we would come to a hard stop!

It is definitely easier than manual though! If I can hardly remember to put an auto in neutral then I would have had no chance with a manual!

The brakes are super responsive, my instructor was like ' just tap it gently' and I thought I was barely putting any pressure on it lol! Yeah I feel with an automatic I can concentrate more on not running people over. I can now turn a corner without nearly crashing into the car in the other lane though 😅 I have to have a cig break half way through the two hours 😅

Brilliant! 😂I thought about asking her if I could vape in the car...(joking)

Oh god, the first few lessons 20kmph felt so fast! After a few lessons I was doing 100kmph and then dropping to 50 felt ridiculously slow 😂

Hey OP don’t worry it’s normal to feel like this at first, there are so many things to remember at once! After a while it will become second nature and you won’t need to think about mirrors etc. and just do it automatically. Other drivers can easily see when it’s a driving school car and will make allowances, unless they are dicks!

I totally get the fear though, I am learning to ride a motorbike ATM and supposed to be going on the road soon and part of me wishes I could just keep riding round the nice safe practice area!

Well done for doing your first lesson!
I've been driving for 40 years but rarely drive on motorways. In my quest to learn more and feel more confident I came across a podcast (i use Spotify) called The Driving Confidence Podcast. I highly recommend it!

I also found some useful videos on YouTube and one in particular is excellent. It's just called Driving Lessons.

I didn't get onto corners until my second lesson (and that was in a car park, I got relegated from the proper roads, lol). So your lesson sounds pretty successful to me 😁

You can do it OP! I started and stopped learning a few times, had a horrible instructor who made me cry and eventually had a lovely instructor who put me completely at ease. Passed 2nd tome lucky in my 20s.

Even so, the first time driving after passing my test and the first time driving alone were very scary. BUT 12 years on from passing my test I'm about as confident driver as you could find, happy driving through central london and parallel parking in tiny spaces.

Every time you do something new it's a bit scary, but you can do it if you push yourself, just remember it's a journey and it will become second nature eventually.

For the first 10 or so lessons, I was utterly wiped out for the rest of the day, properly sore muscles, empty legs, spaced out brain etc., just from the stress and the nerves. I couldn't believe how tired it made me - I couldn't plan anything for the rest of the afternoon on those days. I had proper panic attacks, too, and ended up having about 40-50 lessons. I was a late learner as well, at 39 but I did get there in the end.

I feel very reassured knowing other people fail to get the "basics".

I think it is worse because I told a couple of people and the second I said "automatic" they just put me down. I don't get why. I know that I will never be able to drive a manual car. Autism, dyspraxia, blah blah. Why can't people just go, oh well done, crack on, good for you. I don't know.

I am halfway down the bottle of wine 😉

At what point, do you stop having to say to yourself, blind spot, left mirror, main mirror, blind right spot, right mirror, mooooove.

People were the same with me, OP. Apparently automatic driving isn't "proper" driving.

I have no clue what the big deal is - whatever gets me from A to B in the safest and least stressful way possible. You won't be able to buy a new manual car soon anyway so what's the issue?

Be proud of yourself for getting in that driving seat!

Thanks chick :)

I can't stop thinking about all the stuff I did wrong.

It felt embarrassing. A 42 year old woman wibbling and shitting it behind the wheel of an automatic fiesta.

Good luck. I passed 2 years ago at 38 with a very lovely instructor. I’m not a confident driver now. Pretty much just do the school run, activities and work. However I’ve said to myself that I need to get better for next school holidays. I’ve made a note of the podcast recommendation.

I used to hate my lessons. I block booked them Saturday morning and on the Tuesday before I’d be thinking ‘What excuse could I use to get out of it this week?’ But I never cancelled one. I knew if I cancelled 1 I would never go back so forced myself to go every week.

I passed first time with 6 minors

Definitely don't feel bad about the automatic, I wish I could opt to learn in an automatic instead (not an option at my local driving school, and our car is a manual anyway), in the future more and more people will be driving automatics as more and more people drive electric cars so makes sense to learn automatic

Second less today - done!

I don't feel like I did any better at all, but she said I did...

Drove on ACTUAL roads, did an awful lot of roundabouts. Hit the dizzying speed of 23mph. When she dropped me off at home I was shaking and my head was banging. Pathetic!

Next one on Thursday. Worried about it already.

*lesson, that should say, not less 🙄

Still not remembering to put all the bits together, i.e. mirrors before indicating, which mirrors to look at, etc. Steering was a bit better I think, although I messed up on one roundabout and she had to grab the wheel off me.

@NoChanceYouMetalBastard

I passed age 39 in an auto. I ended up doing intensive lessons 5 hours at a time. It helped with the nerves. I did 4 x 5 hrs and 1 x 3hrs then an hour or two before my test.

There seems to much going on but it all falls into place, eventually!

Trust the instructor @NoChanceYouMetalBastard - you did better!

Just keep turning up. It will get easier!

Lesson no.3 at 3pm today. Spent most of the night awake worrying about it.

Hoping things 'click' a bit better today but not hopeful at all.

The nerves aren't helping and the inability of my stupid brain to put sequences together.

I recently bought this @NoChanceYouMetalBastard I heard about it on the podcast I mentioned upthread. The author was interviewed in one of the episodes. It does seem really good and journalling is apparently very poweful in increasing confidence and competence.

Have you considered speaking to your GP about being prescribed beta blockers to calm the physical symptoms? I realise they aren't for everyone, but they are often prescribed for performance anxiety and they don't interfere with your ability to concentrate/drive. They block the adrenaline so you don't have to worry about the physical symptoms like sweating, shaking, heart racing etc. You will still be nervous in your head, but the reduction in physical symptoms might help you feel more in control. Doctors do prescribe these for very anxious drivers so it could be worth a go.

How did it go, @NoChanceYouMetalBastard ?
My lesson was bloody awful, so I hope you did better. I've decided to take the plunge and change instructors, as my progress has been so slow. Thought I may as well find out if it's me or him by giving another instructor a go.

That does sound normal, honestly. It's totally new.

I'd say I stopped reciting my little mantras about checking things/how to start the car/how to do junctions etc after I passed my test. It becomes normal to just check all directions without reciting it, exactly as you would when walking. But it takes time to build new instincts and habits.

You won't crash. They have their own brakes, plus they want their car in good condition! My instructor had to grab my wheel quite a few times 😳

Also autistic with no coordination, btw. I scheduled my lessons for early mornings before I could work myself up too much, had a toilet break halfway through, then left a good couple of hours free when I got home. Particularly stressful lessons did trigger migraines, until I added in the break afterwards. If the kids wouldn't leave me alone I faked an urgent shopping trip and sat in a quiet corner of a cafe with a book.

Good luck!