Thread 9 - TalkLair: “Russell's teapot goes on being round”

[Kucinghitam]

Continuation of previous threads (thread 8).

The new lair of JTT escapees is all cosy and homey; we have truly settled here. Outside, the garden is blooming with summer flowers - should bloody well be, what with all that rain. Inside, the hearth is glowing, pictures are up on the walls, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

My broadband is driving me demented at the moment. It can't be the copper wires because it's mobile broadband, I have no landline, but for the last week it's been in and out or as the Pythons would have it off of The Life of Brian, up and down like the Assyrian Empire. I don't have an aerial because the aerial connection here is probably as old as television itself so because I have a Firestick I thought I might as well just watch TV that way. Live television is an absolute bastard at the moment. Not too bad during the day but at night it's pure shite. If the programme I want to watch is on iPlayer already, i.e. not iPlayer live, then it's watchable with some stop and start moments but I'm getting really f-ing pissed off with it at the moment.

Rant over.

My broadband is also crap at the moment. So crap I taught my telly to tether to my phone the other week. I think I’ve only actually resorted to tethering a couple of times but that’s only because I’m putting up with the odd bit of buffering the rest of the time.

Our latest BT broadband came with a little doohickey that allegedly connects automatically to the O2 mobile network if the main system goes down. It's currently still sitting in the box it arrived in, because laziness.

DH was away last week and missed CB's mouse-fest. (Although we had told him all about it.)

He was the first to get up early this morning, went to put the kettle on, heard CB shouting at the kitchen door. So naturally he groggily let her in. Whereupon she dropped a live mouse at his feet. What followed, according to DH, was a comedy of him rushing to close the door into the rest of the house, while CB chased the poor traumatised mouse all over the kitchen until he eventually persuaded her to take her rental contribution back outside.

I was quite delighted to come downstairs, all freshly showered and chipper, to a beautifully mopped and fragrant kitchen (plus frazzled-looking DH)

That sounds like an excellent start to the day, Kuc! Well, for you at least. And maybe for CB. Less than ideal for MrKuc, of course, but them’s the breaks.

I keep picturing that scenario in the style of a Tom and Jerry cartoon, with MrK in the role of the housekeeper with the broom.

I imagine there was a fair amount of flailing about with a mop! DH is quite delicate and squeamish about creatures.

My job, as always, was to search the garden for mouse remains (this time, half a mouse) and dispose.

I don't think I'd bother looking for half a mouse, I'd leave it for whoever might make a snack of it.

Ah well I did leave it for a snack by chucking into the bushes I just didn't want it on the patio or lawn, where one of us might tread on it (or worse, mow it) 🤢

CB needs to be more like Django and eat all of it or nearly all of it. He brought in a creature at the weekend which I know because a. I heard the growling and some squeaking so almost certainly a mouse, and b. the bathroom floor was a little blood stained. There was no corpse or part of a corpse to be found.

Good boy, Django.

Badger mugs the cats for their noisily announced prey the moment they come through the door, and usually gulps down the unfortunate creature whole. I have to keep the dogs up with me until I go to bed, precisely because of this. (They can go into their beds/crates whenever they like but when I shut them in for the night they get a Dentastix each, so they mope around all night BEGGING to be put to bed.)

If the dogs aren’t around, the cats either drop the live mouse for it to hide, die and stink out the place, or they eat it themselves, taking very much longer and making much more revolting crunching sounds. That’s why I have to keep the dogs up!

None of them will eat shrews, moles, rats or bats. Nor frogs, toads, lizards or slow worms.

Yesterday was lovely shorts weather. Today it's low teens and torrential rain. I was supposed to be going to the lab today, but have changed my plans to WFH because I'm a wuss.

CB just appeared at the patio doors, soaking wet and shouting desperately. Her first act was to dry her body on my trouser legs. Then she jumped onto the dining table where I'm working, and to dry her paws and butt on my pile of paperwork. Fortunately it is not paperwork that I have to send on to anyone.

She is part of the family. Resistance is useless!

She’s absolutely yours now, Kuc, sorry.

It's so nice that you have a new cat, @Kucinghitam 😁

Today I finished the HUGE pile of ironing that I was doing for a friend. Tomorrow I work on a sewing project after hopefully, hopefully, hopefully speaking to my Worthing consultant. I'm having a whole palaver about an appointment that I have at the Royal Surrey hospital on Thursday. I got referred there by my consultant to have an op that they couldn't do here in Worthing. Grand! I got a call from Surrey last week offering me a quick appointment. Great! I get the letter it appears to befor a procedure I can have done here and have had done a lot in the past. I've been trying to find out what exactly what they're going to do because frankly if it's the same old same old I don't want to go all the way to Guilford for something that could be done here. It's not just travelling there, it's the fact that I have to get someone to pick me up because they don't let you leave hospital by yourself due to the sedation. Sorry. I know I'm rambling.

Anyway! I have to get that sorted tomorrow and then I sew.

In further moaning news I have toothache. It kept me awake for a lot of last night. Eased this morning and is coming back tonight. Given the health crisis we're living through I'm not sure what to do about it because I cannot afford a private dentist and can't get an NHS dentist for love nor money. I going to try to get on some waiting lists tomorrow. I think that this needs to be a big thing to take into next year's general election. It's an absolute disgrace that so many of us are unable to afford basic dental health services.

Is there a dental school anywhere near you @MouseMinge ? I know people who have had their treatments at such places. They're students but well supervised.

@Britinme there isn't but I've discovered an NHS community trust emergency clinic. They're only open in the evenings so I'm going to call them later. Fingers crossed!

@MouseMinge - if you don't get any joy from them, it might be worth a call to NHS 111 to see if they can help you find someone. But fingers crossed that the out-of-hours clinic can see you.

Oh Mouse, if I lived on that side of the country I’d take you to Guildford and back. xx Have you any codeine? It’s the only thing that helps when I have toothache, albeit only slightly.

@MouseMinge everything crossed that you can get the tooth sorted asap! After the carry on I had a couple of months ago, I'm full of sympathy.

Mouse, I hope you get the tooth problem sorted - it's such a miserable situation.

Anyhow, advice for those who cohabit with cats. If you find a pot of valerian capsules and decide to take one at bedtime (good idea) do not DO NOT open it and dab a little of the powder on the blanket the cats sleep on. And really really DO NOT drop any valerian powder on your pyjama jacket. Lions and tigers and velociraptors are peaceful and rational compared with valerian-crazed pussycats.

Very thorough repeated washing of such human skin as was left after the onslaught, moving the blanket off the bed and changing the pjs did restore a certain measure of calm. Not entirely though, eyes were still a bit wild and there was a tendency to drool even in the morning. True of the cats, too.

Arf, @DeanElderberry - see the warning on https://scrumbles.co.uk/blogs/news/valerian-for-cats

How do cats react to valerian? Cats react to valerian differently depending on how they encounter it. If you’re using valerian to keep your kitty super chillz, you’ll want to ensure they eat it rather than smell it. When consumed, the effects of valerian can include euphoria, purring, and can even fall asleep. On the other hand, if your cat smells valerian, the effects may be similar to that of catnip. AKA being extra playful and hyperactive, rubbing against it and running about like a loonatic. Following from this initial period of playfulness, valerian can leave cats calm and relaxed, which is why it’s often preferred to than catnip.

It was a tiny tiny quantity - just enough to smell of itself. But loonatic is about right - maybe they were calm and relaxed overnight and got another whiff in the morning. I have a number of punctures.

That’s a very cute catten in the picture.

I used to make combined catnip and valerian cat toys. MaBint's cat at the time - Fred - did not play with them. He would just lie there with 1 paw resting on the pouch, apparently entirely uninterested in it - until somebody tried to take it away ...