Handhold for the weekend?

[weegiemum]

I feel like a total idiot asking this, like I'm a real flake!

Tomorrow dh and ds (21) are off to Belgium for the weekend, it's ds's 21st birthday present to go to the Belgian Grand Prix. Both dh and dh are huge F1 fans.

Dd1 lives away and is working all weekend. Dd2 is also working and spending most of the weekend with her boyfriend as it's much closer to work for her and dad isn't around to give her lifts (I'm medically unfit to drive).

I suffer from fairly well controlled anxiety and depression as well as a physical disability. I don't know the last time I had to spend 4 days by myself! I've reached out to a few friends but most folk are busy over the weekend. One of my closest friends is coming for r lunch on Saturday.

So I'm just feeling a wee bit fragile at the thought of being all alone. I'll have the dog and cat which is a help. It's really important I don't get upset and call dh while he's away!

So a couple of people just holding my hand will help! I feel so silly worrying about this!!

I’ll be here to hold your hand!

Can you plan some nice things to look forward to? What do you like to watch? Is there a book you’d like to read? Nice food and drink to enjoy?

Thank you!

I'm going to have a good look through Netflix tomorrow and find something a bit mindless to watch.

We went to Tesco this evening and I filled a wee trolley with nice stuff for the weekend, because if there's not stuff here I'll just live on toast! Getting a Chinese takeaway on Saturday (half way point!)

All fair concerns. Hopefully sharing your worries will help control them.

I hope you can use the time for a little indulgence, order your favourite foods, do your favourite things and be selfish without guilt.

Here with you.

It seems daunting but you will survive and you might even enjoy the peace and quiet.

You need things to look forward to so make a list of stuff you can't do when everyone else is around - stuff you'd like to watch on the TV, food no one else likes, plus maybe treat yourself to a new book - I'd absolutely love 4 days to lie in bed and read uninterrupted!

I might download something new to my kindle. Always said I'd like to read the first Dune book before the new film comes out!

O was going to suggest, as PP, build a treat into each day to help you look forward, & take one day at a time. Don't think of it as 4 days alone, break down to manageable chunks, small steps. I don't suffer from anxiety as such, but find this approach useful when feeling potentially overwhelmed at work, or in personal life. Make the most of some 'me time', don't feel you have to achieve anything special except to relush the peace & lack of demands on your time/emotions/energy. Hope you enjoy 😉

Awww, you’ll be fine @weegiemum. Just think, you’ll get all those dog and kitty hugs all to yourself the whole weekend. ☺️

Thank you all for not making me feel like a total idiot! I feel a bit ridiculous- I'm 52 and can't face 4 days alone??? Silly really!!

Off to bed for a cuddle with dh. It's no time at all until Monday!!

Oh and yes the dog will think he's died and gone to heaven as he only gets to sleep on the bed when dh is working away overnight. 4 days of it will be lovely, and at least I'll have a warm body beside me (and on top of me if the cat joins in!).

Just break it down into days.

So what’s the plan for today? It’ll be bedtime again before you know it and you’ll be through day one already!

Well after a really awful morning - when we discovered dh's passport had expired - and the nicest government department ever (passport office in Glasgow) I'm actually starting to look forward to them leaving so I can relax!

@weegiemum

(name changinging old timer here)

you'll be fine!! It'll fly past & you'll be finding reasons for DH take him away again!!

how are you doing physically now, for washing/dressing/transferring to bed etc?

4 days alone is my idea of bliss, I deliberately don't tell anyone, so I can just chill on my own timetable. Eat when I want to, what I want to. MN, MN, MN...a little more MN. Watch whatever sport is on if something good (tour de France femme avec swift!)

rinse & repeat!!

i always intend to 'get stuff done, read, crochet, but if I'm being honest, MN, a game I play on my iPad & mindless TV is about it!! 😂

I have friends to WhatsApp, if I need a 1:1 chat.

other than DH/kids, what helps with your anxiety. Getting outside helped me, even just sitting in the doorway when I couldn't just go outside.

welcome to the weekend! Let the party begin!!

(glad they were lovely at the passport office!! & got DH sorted! I hope they have a brilliant time!!)

Well that's them away!

Realised this morning that a few years ago I would have been delighted that dh couldn't travel. This morning I was just gutted for him thinking he would have to stay behind and let ds go with a friend. He's just picked up the new passport and they're off to the airport.

For my first act of my free weekend I fed the cat.

Second act I made myself a ciabatta toastie with cheese- yum!

And for my third act I ate the roll with a glass of chilled white wine!

It's going to be ok!

Oh wow that’s amazing your dh managed to get a new passport on the day! When did he find out it had expired?! Think that would be impossible to get a new one on the day in England. Hope they enjoy the trip and you have a relaxing weekend too.

Ahh this was a lovely update and it sounds like you’ve had a great start to your weekend!

We're very lucky that we live a 15 minute drive from the passport office in Glasgow (only one in Scotland!). Dh threw himself on the mercy of the security guard who went inside and came back out with an appointment!

Good start Weegiemum!
It's all about reframing it as not being left alone, but as your turn for self care.
You've absolutely got this. I agree with other PPs . A loose plan of things to do.
Definitely an option if you do feel particularly anxious or become upset. E.g a bath, a wee walk with the dog ..or MN 😁
We are all here . You're going to be so proud of yourself ...and relaxed 😌

I slept badly and am awake far too early but that's one night of 4 done!

Going to try to go back to sleep just now and see how things pan out later on. My boys arrived safely in Brussels and made it to their hotel.

Todays treat is a Chinese takeaway for dinner!

Hello. I don't suffer anxiety but the last time I ended up having a weekend totally alone I just felt so odd, like a limb was missing. I'm just not used to it. managed it exactly the way you are, lots of activities planned and coddled the cats.
What are you planning to watch on TV? Have you seen the Firefly Lane series on Netflix yet? Loved that.

Ooh, chinese! Not just Chinese, Chinese you pick without anyone else having a say and the leftovers are all yours! Yay!

DH has just stirred and prodded his breakfast cereal continuously between slurping and chomping so I wish he was at the GP with your gang!

You’re already on day 2!

Hope you manage some more rest and good call on the Chinese takeaway, what will you order?

I live alone. In a nice area, a bit noisy at times, but fine.

i always sleep better when
someone stays, or I stay with family/friends. I guess I just relax more when not alone, even though I'm not conscious if it.

when I had a partner, I used to really struggle to sleep if he wasn't there.

Hope you enjoy your Chinese later!!

Today hasn't been bad at all. I had a 2 hour nap this afternoon and was very good, I didn't just crash on the sofa I went back to bed which was much more sensible. Dog slept on my feet.

I'm going to get spring rolls, chicken satay and fried rice from the Chinese takeaway! Your right, no one will be going for my leftovers (if there are any!! 😂

Then tomorrow I have plans now! A friend I've not seen in a couple of months texted this morning to see if I want to go and see Barbie tomorrow evening, with her and another friend I haven't seen in a couple of years!! It'll be great and her car takes my wheelchair ok so I'm looking forward to that.

Off to sit in the sunny garden with a glass of wine. I'm doing this!!!

Oh that’s brilliant!

Well done OP, you absolutely are doing it!

Hey what did book did you download @weegiemum
Any recommendations?
You're doing great!