Child ethnicity - what to put?

[Whatidentity]

I am mixed race. Married to a white man and we have a child.

Having to fill in my child’s first form that has “ethnicity” on it. My child is 3/4 white, and I think ticking “white British” is appropriate but somehow makes me v sad that my identity isn’t in there too!

That’s obviously my issue and not my child’s (!).

But what would you tick? “White British” or “mixed”? My child looks very white. So ticking “mixed” feels somehow not true? But ticking “white British” makes me feel a little deleted.

At the moment go for mixed... that is your culture and how you feel.

When they are older let them chose.

There is no right or wrong answer here. When your child is is enough to make a decision for themselves, they will be able to choose whether they identify as white or as mixed. In the meantime, it's for you to determine which description feels most appropriate to you. If you feel "deleted" by putting down white, then you should absolutely list the ethnicity as "mixed". It is entirely accurate and it matters not a jot what your child looks like.

I would put mixed in your situation. One of my grandparents was not british, and further back we have people who were also not white, so I put white other on my forms as to do otherwise seems somewhat like I'm erasing my family history. Your child can decide for themselves when they grow up. You could also tick "do not want to say" if you prefer

Will they be raised enjoying and celebrating the non-White aspects of your heritage? If so then I would definitely put mixed, as it's likely to be an important part of their identity even if it is not immediately obvious physically.

I've always put mixed other, in a similar kind of scenario.

Yep. This.

My son had a similar thought a few years ago. He's a pale redhead (Scottish genes!) and my family are from all corners of Britain. But his father's heritage was Eastern European (Jewish who'd come over here due to WW2). I think I always put White Other.

Tbh, it doesn't really matter as far as the form is concerned, it's only for their monitoring purposes. So put what feels right for you.

I would put mixed down as that's what you feel. Your child can decide for themselves when they're older

I'd put mixed :) don't be deleted :(.

I've always put white British as my mum did for me... I don't think I am though 😂 but my grandmother was adopted and her parents were illegal immigrants from somewhere haha so our heritage is completely lost. I'm very curious about where I'm from. So keep your history alive!

I would put mixed race

Only you know how you and through you, how your child identifies. I personally would put mixed.

It's entirely up to you

I would put mixed or else tick more than box if allowed (which it should be! I have the same problem with my kids)

I’m 1/4 Indian.

I’ve always put white British. Because that’s what I am. My mum always did that too. Only issues have been when I have some arsehole on the other end of the form look me up and down and say, “but you are a bit brown, you can’t be white!” (Two different midwives in two pregnancies!)

Thank you all for these thoughtful replies! I will put down mixed, and he can choose for himself when he’s older.

We do celebrate part of my mixed identity (I am half Indian), but not that much anymore as my Indian parent died, cutting off a lot of access to that culture. I think that’s what makes me feel stranger about this form! I grew up very immersed in both cultures - but I am not so much now that my Indian parent has died, and I don’t see wider family very often (don’t go back to country of origin, don’t speak the language, only see my aunts and uncles who live in the uk once or twice a year).

I think filling out this form has brought up a lot that I wasn’t expecting!

I do vividly remember my mother having to tick a box for me when I was little though, and she wanted to write “Indian Grandmother” next to other and my dad saying she was being ridiculous 🤣

My son is mixed race - we tick White British/Black African

Its impossible for these forms to cover all permutations of mixed ethnicity but there are a lot of options to choose from

Tbf I'm not sure why you have to disclose particular ethnicity. I understand with like medical. But it's like you have to state your identity/religion and orientation even to take out a library card 😂 I find it weird

This is probably because it is important for medical purposes, although for them both to use the same phrase "a bit brown" is .

My children are 1/4 black from my side, so I use mixed for them, although they look white.

I understand that.

My life was vastly different though. My mum was half Indian, but was born in the early 40s under British rule, with a British father in the Army. So she was brought up as British, even in India and they obviously had to leave in the 60s when she was a teen.

So I don’t have any Indian heritage as people always expect me too. The dishes my mother remembers from childhood in India were roast dinners and Shepard's pie!

I feel the same. Outside of medical forms there is no reason for it. I tend to put "prefer not to state" or cross it out and write "human" because I feel society should have moved on beyond defining people by their race. Of course I am not saying culture doesn't matter.

Some organisations are legally required to do it to ensure they are engaging with all sections of the community they are based in.

Similar heritage to me, Scottish, Ashkenazi Jewish etc. I wasn't raised in the Jewish faith though so I'm culturally not really connected to my roots.

My son is light skinned mixed ethnicity I would always put that.

Totally understand.
I’m black British and my child’s father is Asian and Hispanic. I put mixed other. I will educate them about all of their cultures equally.

Government classifications allow for the following in terms of mixed race:
Asian and White
Black African and White
Black Caribbean and White
But also Asian can be sub catergorised but not as far as you'd think. You can put mixed Pakistani and White but not put Indian down, that's classed as Asian and White. You can put mixed Chinese and White down but not Korean for example.

I feel that the heritage over the identification should be acknowledged. It allows for an understanding of breadth of diversity and also, can be helpful from a medical perspective where certain conditions are more common for different ethnicities.