Child ethnicity - what to put?

[Whatidentity]

I am mixed race. Married to a white man and we have a child.

Having to fill in my child’s first form that has “ethnicity” on it. My child is 3/4 white, and I think ticking “white British” is appropriate but somehow makes me v sad that my identity isn’t in there too!

That’s obviously my issue and not my child’s (!).

But what would you tick? “White British” or “mixed”? My child looks very white. So ticking “mixed” feels somehow not true? But ticking “white British” makes me feel a little deleted.

My DCs look white but I always tick mixed white and Asian.

Their cousins just tick white but I'd feel weird about that as their grandmother was born in India and their dad clearly looks Indian, it feels like we'd be denying their heritage.

My kids are 3/4 white, I always write mixed. It can be important in health forms as people with certain ethnic make ups are at higher risk of different health issues.

Put mixed heritage. Regardless how they look, that is what they are.

Until they decide for themselves. One of my sons describes himself as black and the other says mixed. (Same parents)

When they were children I ticked mixed. Now I tick their preferred option.

Until they decide for themselves. One of my sons describes himself as black and the other says mixed. (Same parents)

Same here but with citizenship (both dcs are dual citizen).
one self identify as British, the other as my home country. (Came out when we filled the census and the firm only allowed one citizenship)

We are all white, but obviously I’m not white British so when the firm specify what sort if ‘white’ I am, I used to put mixed for them. Or others.

I must be odd. I have never put anything other than "Not stated"/"No reply"/"Other". Starting in 197(mumble) when it started being asked.

Why do people feel this is a question that needs answering ?

Since no one checks the answers, any data gathered is going to be pretty low quality anyway. Far better to save a tree I reckon.

It's for their internal monitoring (except in the case of medical). In theory. So that they can ensure equality of access across all communities.

Eg during covid, my friend worked for a Health Authority that identified some communities weren't accessing the vaccinations as much as others and so worked to identify why that was and set up vaccination points within the community to, theoretically, increase uptake.

Same with other services. In theory, if a local authority identified certain communities weren't signing up to use them, they'd use the data to identify why that might be and how the gap could be closed.

Youll notice a lot of 'in theories' in my post. Whether it actually gets used for that is a different matter!

There's no correct answer and you can refuse to complete it if you prefer. Please don't let it worry you. As far as celebrating your heritage, why not start your own ways of doing so - my friends through an amazing Diwali party each year, she's 1/4 Indian and like you isn't really in touch with that part of her family but we cook Asian inspired food (authenticity I'm not claiming) put up lights, the kids made lamps etc. then we all went to the city Diwali celebration, at least half the people there are not Asian either!

It's for their internal monitoring (except in the case of medical). In theory. So that they can ensure equality of access across all communities.

So who's checking ?

That's why I put 'in theory'! 😉

I'm not sure anyone checks. But that's the theory.

The reality - well, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well, first off, how would you check ? We don't all have a Home Office approved shade-swatch to nail it perfectly.

And secondly, given it untrustworthiness, what exactly is it going to be used for ?

45 years of asking, and no one has ever demonstrated how a load of unverified and unverifiable data can help people more than they can help themselves.

These types of forms are actually asking what race you actually are. Agree with whoever flagged the medical point. It isn't what shade your skin is or how you feel, your child is mixed race... how light or dark you are is irrelevant. I've got cousins and siblings our skin tone varies but we are all the same race biologically.

My husband is mixed race and I’m white. I always tick the most relevant ‘mixed’ box for my children. It feels wrong to erase their non-white ancestry and they actually are mixed race. The options aren’t a perfect fit though.

Organisations like this - https://www.sra.org.uk/sra/equality-diversity/diversity-profession/

However it is up to individual employers who are law firms in this case to act on the data they collect.

As an aside my friend is of very similar heritage to your child. Her grandmother was Indian but her father's side white. She looks as white as they come but her brother definitely looks mixed race so if you ever have another child be aware that might happen too.

Race doesn't exist except as a sociological concept

Ethnicity exists and that's what medical forms are interested in due to certain conditions/diseases being more prevalent in particular ethnicities.

Even then I know from talking to various people because they don't fit into those ethnicities and have particular conditions they aren't believed.

I'm not sure about this. I understand your point, but I don't know if it is as clear cut as you suggest.

How mixed do you have to be to say that you are mixed? Obviously you're mixed if you have parents from two distinct ethnic groups. Personally, I think you're mixed if you have grandparents from distinct ethnic groups. But what about great grandparents, or great great grandparents? Or even further back than that? How many of us even know with any confidence once you start to look back beyond a generation or two?

Surely there is an element of it that does come down to how you identify, rather than any objective measure of what you actually are, which would probably be impossible for most of us in any case. And if we did want to go down the route of objectivity, who would actually make the decisions about which people should go in which category?

Ethnic identity will always have a subjective element to it in my view. I can't see how it could be any other way.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves so personally if one parent is mixed race (half/half) like OP I would still view my child as mixed race because I'm half (whatever nationality).

Would I go much further than that? No probably not. I do think its what you are around and how much you are exposed to your culture. I find it confusing when people don't use the correct terms. My mother is half white, if she felt to define herself as white me as her daughter would of been confused about my own race.

Sorry to be thick I don't understand your post. How can you find out someone's ethnicity if you tick the white box on a form if that's not what you actually are?

So I tick "European" (for example) and there is someone to tell me I am wrong ?

I look forward to the day it happens.

They don't care.

Like with other characteristics they monitor for you self-ID.

If you tick white European on a medical form when you have for example Indian heritage and there is a family history of a condition/disease that is common in people of India heritage, then if you are pregnant you won't get the extra tests you should have.

I’d do mixed other we that’s what they are

I agree, but my point is that it's subjective.

My dd is mixed race (her dad and I are from different ethnic backgrounds). I will certainly regard any future grandchildren as being mixed. But if they are mixed, then surely their children will also be mixed, technically. As, indeed, will their grandchildren. Regardless of who they pair up with. At some point, it will probably seem irrelevant to them, but that will be different for different families.

Who gets to say if grandparents, great grandparents (or great, great etc grandparents) are relevant? Who gets to decide when their contribution to the ethnic mix should be erased? Surely that depends on the personal identity of each individual?

There are people on this thread with non-white grandparents who consider themselves to be white. Who am I to argue with that? There will be people with heritage in their great grandparents' generation who value that heritage and consider themselves to be mixed. Again, who am I to argue with that?

There is no simple answer to the question of what people "are" because there isn't a simple objective reality. Aren't most of us probably a bit mixed if we go back far enough?

Your child is mixed race doesn’t matter what they look like.

I'm in a similar situation to your child and I selected mixed. I look ethnically ambiguous and am proud of my mixed heritage.