What kind of care is available in the UK?

[PorePurifyingCucumberSandwich]

My parents moved abroad many years ago. They are now in their 80s and my dad recently had a fall resulting in a brain hemorrhage. He was in hospital for 2 weeks but is at home now again. However, he needs round the clock care. He's become extremely irritable and aggressive. Refuses care or assistance. He's not meant to walk alone as another head injury might be fatal and his balance is terrible yet he insists on walking unaided.

The health care in the country they live in is very good, extremely accessible and reasonably affordable (even if private). When you need a doctor (of any speciality) you can just book an appointment and will be seen often on the same day. Also they can go to the hospital anytime and be admitted with very little waiting time involved. Diagnostic tests and their results are available immediately and on the same day.

Carers are also easily available and affordable and they've got a 24h carer. If necessary a gone nurse could be afforded as well. Further, they have got a cleaner who comes every day and could easily hire a cook.

Still, because of my dad's aggressiveness and to help with organising and decision making my sister has flown there as paid help isn't enough.

Once my sister leaves I don't know how my mum will cope unless my dad fully recovers. Ideally, I'd like them to return to the UK (as soon as he can fly) so I can help out but I don't think dh will be thrilled if they live with us. Either way we will need 24 assistance.

Sorry this is getting so late. Basically my questions are:

It sounds like they would get far better care stay where they are.

1 would a helper or carer be affordable? How much are they? Are 24/7 ones available? Would the NHS provide someone or would we definitely have to pay ourselves?

1. If he relapses or needs medical care how easy is it to admit him to hospital? Would we always have to go to a n e?

3How are assisted living houses? What kind of Services are available?

1. Would the NHS provide anything? Or the council? How does it work?

My late FIL had to pay a lot of money for carers to come in twice a day. And the communication between the hospital and the carers where none existent. It was shambles. My DP and the lovely family friend cleaner did most of it.

Stay where they are. It sounds much much better than here.

Carers get paid bare minimum in the UK. And some, not all. I stress, cut corners, we caught late FILs carers saying they had been and he'd refused when cameras in the street proved they hadn't been at all.

He was sent home 4 days before his needed hospital bed was in place as he couldn't get up the stairs so he had to sleep in a chair for 4 days.

Even when he was dying I had ti pull the nurse card to get my DP and his sister in to sit with him (during Covid but towards the end when dying people could have relatives with them!)

The care industry in the UK and the NHS are in dire straits everywhere is under staffed and people can't get care packages when coming out of hospital. My friends mum broke her hip and no carers were available so she had to go stay with her daughter. My gran is currently stuck in hospital while they try to source carers. Leave him where he is it sounds so much better than here

Yes that is the problem but everything would fall on my mum as my sister and me would be too far away to really help..also I have very young children so can't go there to help for very long.

Anything that you can pay for is available there but they'd have little emotional support and my dad isn't accepting the carers assistance.

I mainly want to help my mum. I don't want her to deal with this on her own.

NHS only proved so many weeks once discharged from
Hospital, dependent on finances.

Thanks everyone for for the replies. You are confirming my worst fears.

Did the carers stay 12 h each to provide 24 h coverage?

In answer to your questions about falls, yes, he would have to go to A&E if he had a fall and injured himself. Another thing, if he is aggressive and not compliant with instructions, do you think he would get on a plane? Or be allowed on a plane by the ground staff?

1 would a helper or carer be affordable? How much are they? Are 24/7 ones available? Would the NHS provide someone or would we definitely have to pay ourselves?

Oh gosh it would be very big money. Not available on the NHS. Most care packages are council arranged and a based on quick in and out visits 2 or 3 times a day.

As for 2) (and 4? I'm losing track) What would your parents legal situation be when they come back? Citizenship isn't enough - without domicile - to get free NHS care.

Are they fluent in the language of their adopted country (if not English)? Do they have much of network there? Or family ties of any sort?

Yes, he would first have to recover enough to be able to fly.

Sorry for all the typos. I keep falling asleep.

If they have savings/assets, which I'm guessing the would if returning to the UK as any overseas property would be sold, then they would have to pay for care. FIL is just going through this process and we are waiting for assessments but we will, most likely, have to pay for care too.
The care system in the UK is not good so I would recommend caution in bringing them back here

Also, any stories of caring for an elderly parent are welcome!! Or of brain bleeds

Re entitlement to health and social care.

@PorePurifyingCucumberSandwich

No they came in. Helped him get dressed in the morning. Gave him meds and breakfast. Then again in the evening. The family friend would take him lunch when my DP was away at sea. And he would do it when he was home. They were probably there an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening

It must be very stressful OP. Have you checked they are even entitled to any NHS/social services care at all in the UK or would they need to pay privately? If they have lived abroad 'for many years' they may not be entitled to anything here at all. There was a link another poster put up which might help hopefully.

You can get live in carers for about £750-£1000 a week.

You might be eligible for Attendance Allowance towards care.

Social Care is provided by Adult Services, a department of social services. They can carry out an assessment: if your Dad has less than £23k savings (including proceeds of house sale abroad) they can arrange for up to 4 care visits a day. Over that savings limit he will need to be self funding.

Falls etc are attended by paramedics / ambulance crews. In the absence of life threatening symptoms the wait will be long.

The NHS provide up to 6 weeks ‘re-enablement care’ where it is assessed as necessary following incidents such as stroke, hip replacement etc. The help can be great: physios, OT, social care etc. but then the assessment for further support will be by Adult Services, as above.

If you are able to find a care home for your DF then yes 24hr care is available. And if you are prepared to pay for it in your’s or DPs’ home then this would probably be a good alternative. Government funded care is the absolute bare minimum. FIL had a catastrophic stroke during pandemic when care homes were isolating. He was moved home essentially to die but ended up living 18mnths bedridden , unable to move, talk or eat. Carers came in 3 times a day for 15-30 mins to move him ( bed sore prevention), toilet him and wash him. Otherwise my MIL pretty much did it all.
Admission to hospital can involve lengthy waits in corridors and often admitted to inappropriate wards where their needs are unlikely to be met.
The standard reply at the moment to any comment or complaint is “the NHS is very stretched at the moment”.
Also you would need to find out if your parents are entitled to anything if they have been vaccinated coats for a while.

?vaccinated coats? Expats

No, there won’t be 24/7 coverage on the NHS.

At best you might get a 1 hour visit in the morning and a 1 hour visit in the evening.

Your autocorrect is madder than even mine.

Was going to say if they returned after many years they may not be entitled to any help.
you can pay for live in carers or nursing homes of course. Care arranged via the council will be at best 2 visits a day.
my grandparents used the rest of their savings on live in carers for 6 months before they went into a care home together once the house was sold. My grandfather lived for a year in the nursing home (Alzheimer’s) and my grandmother 5 years in total (blind, dementia) it cost them £300k which wiped out all the money they ever had.
I would honestly try and find a way to keep them where they are. Is there anyone who could go over for a while whilst your dads recovering to help your mum out, maybe a few people to take turns.is there any official type social services out there that might be able to advise you on what their options are if they were to remain?.

I think maybe OP has dozed off.

To be honest, the health and social care provision where your parents are currently living sounds idyllic compared to the UK.

Setting aside the issue of whether or not he'd be entitled to support given they've been living abroad, it does look like residential care would be the best option - as staffed round the clock and would mean your DM gets a break - but where would she live?

Also, if your DF is refusing care where he is, then presumably he'll still be like that here, which will make it more difficult to find a home which will take him, and even in a home, sadly, there will be little to nothing they can do to prevent him falling again if he is reasonably mobile and determined.

I don't know what I'd do if I were you but it does look like he will have a better chance of receiving good and timely medical and social care where he is, and without the massive and stressful, for both parents, disruption of a move to the UK.

There's an Elderly Parents forum on MN - you might get more advice there. I think you can find it under Other Stuff.

Hi there, sorry to chuckle at the audio correct, I am visually impaired and to me it sounded like vaccinated coats. Yes, I am vaccinated Coates (living in Greece) at the moment, since I just bought a home here, but I moved back to the UK for a short while out of necessity a couple of years ago, and even with my disability was unable to get much because I had been out of the country so long. I grew up abroad, so people didn’t even understand the basics when it came to my visual impairment. Adult social services was asking me things like where I learned to use my cane, I was registered blind. I had to look for some assistance on my own and pay privately out of pocket, but it was very difficult, very lengthy, and I only found very few people who I trusted and who were able to do what I needed them to do for a short time.

I know, not the same thing, but living in Greece, I would say some of the care and access to doctors is better here. And if you can find the right person here, the quality of what you get is better than it was in the UK the majority of the time.

Yep. It did say vaccinated coats as in innoculated jackets Hellokittymania .

It made me laugh too. Sometimes I think of writing a short story in which the autocorrect is carrying messages from ghosts but I can't see the hidden meaning in that one.