What kind of care is available in the UK?

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My parents moved abroad many years ago. They are now in their 80s and my dad recently had a fall resulting in a brain hemorrhage. He was in hospital for 2 weeks but is at home now again. However, he needs round the clock care. He's become extremely irritable and aggressive. Refuses care or assistance. He's not meant to walk alone as another head injury might be fatal and his balance is terrible yet he insists on walking unaided.

The health care in the country they live in is very good, extremely accessible and reasonably affordable (even if private). When you need a doctor (of any speciality) you can just book an appointment and will be seen often on the same day. Also they can go to the hospital anytime and be admitted with very little waiting time involved. Diagnostic tests and their results are available immediately and on the same day.

Carers are also easily available and affordable and they've got a 24h carer. If necessary a gone nurse could be afforded as well. Further, they have got a cleaner who comes every day and could easily hire a cook.

Still, because of my dad's aggressiveness and to help with organising and decision making my sister has flown there as paid help isn't enough.

Once my sister leaves I don't know how my mum will cope unless my dad fully recovers. Ideally, I'd like them to return to the UK (as soon as he can fly) so I can help out but I don't think dh will be thrilled if they live with us. Either way we will need 24 assistance.

Sorry this is getting so late. Basically my questions are:

I had a brain hemorrhage about 20 months ago completely out of the blue. I was 64 at the time. They were wonderful in icu but completely useless on the other 3 wards I was on......they took my blood pressure every other day....thst was it
they never even cleaned my teeth,!!!! My husband had to fight for every bit of rehab I got at home.....I have been left with a useless right hand that shakes (and I am right handed) I've never been able to resume my various hobbies, I have little co-, ordination or balance, I am unable to write or to speak louder or clearly and I am terrified of getting older and having a fall
Oh and it took me over an hour to write this using predictive text! It's horrible and apart from my husband (,who I feel very sorry for) and the highest rate PIP paid to my bank every 4 week's I get no help at all here in the UK

Here is some info from Age UK about returning to live in the UK

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs25returninggfromabroaddfcs.pdf

For 24 hour live in care google Helping Hands and The Good Care group. There are others as well. It's very costly though .

Whilst you are focussing on meeting the costs of your father's care, don’t forget to factor in housing and potential future care needs for your mother. What is your plan if their money runs out and she also needs a significant level of care?

Read all the posts. Thank you everyone. Will reply when I get a chance. Sorry crazy weekend again.

I think where your parents are sounds much better. Would you mind saying what country they are in? It sounds like a very good healthcare system.

India.

How much does a nursing or care home cost here on average for someone who needs 24h supervision?

I would say at the minimum you would be looking at £1000 per week. 24 hour care is likely to be nearer £2000 but obviously this will vary from different care homes. If I was you OP I would ring round some local care homes and see what packages they offer. Your father may be better off staying where he is.

Stay put!

The NHS will cover none of his ongoing care needs, and social care provision is very minimal, only if their savings are under £23k, and hugely understaffed - so even if they qualified for some there's a high chance they'd not get it.

So whether they stay put or move to the UK they will have to pay for everything. That will be massively more affordable in India.

Around £1000 - £1300 a week would get a room in a residential home in most of the country - but that's a room, meals and the odd bit of help with washing etc. If he's a falls risk he'd get an alarm mat and a button to push to summon help after falling over. Not one-to-one supervision to stop him doing things that could lead to a fall. As 3dogs says, that would be a lot more. If offered at all - a lot of homes wouldn't offer that as part of their package so you'd need to get private sitters on top of the care home fees.

My family has had three carers and all of them stole stuff from the vulnerable person they were looking after.

’Care’ in the UK is bad.

My great aunt’s care was £1000 a week and that was years ago-and certainly not 24h.

Thanks for replying. So since I've last posted unfortunately, he hasn't improved a lot and we are looking at something like permanent moderately severe dementia. So He can recognise us l, understand us and talk but his decision making is shot (so needs to be told to eat and drink and sometimes be fed, doubly incontinent). He is also still very aggressive. He also on a lot of medication (eg anti psychotics, sleeping tablets, etc) that require supervision and constant tweaking.

Would that require a special nursing home or that hospital territory? He has something called delirium and from what I gather from the NHS website is that in his state he might not actually get discharged from the hospital at all. Does anyone have any experience of this?

A friends parent was like this.

He was in a nursing home (paid residential care) until he became too aggressive.

Nursing homes can ask residents to leave for a variety of reasons and aggression and injury to staff is a common reason.

My friends parent wound up in a ward in a hospital that was specifically for elderly people with psychiatric issues. It was a locked ward. NHS as by that point with the history of aggression nowhere else would take him.

Delirium isn't an illness that you have, it's a symptom and can have many causes. It's really just a medical way of saying a person is confused.
You can be confused because you have a fever, because you're not fully awake, because you're in a confusing situation, because it's a symptom of something wrong with your brain etc etc. So delirium in and of itself doesn't tell you anything and won't have any prognosis on its own without a full diagnosis.

Err yes I know. I meant someone who is confused and needs extra care because of that.

Re: care after a brain bleed, we had this with my father. He died ten years ago, but back then he was able to get a place in an assisted apartment, so self contained but a warden came around twice a day to check on him. When he got worse physically and adjustments needed to be made, it took some time to get him home as the adjustments took months to be made, during which time he had to stay in hospital (which he was not happy about). Back then his flat cost £500p/w, including the warden. No option to buy, rental only, but different in some places (this was just the case with the one nearest me). He was very vulnerable due to the brain damage caused by the bleed, so Mum and I wanted him nearby so we could seem him every day.

More recently I’ve dealt with the care needs of my grandmother. As she owned her own home and had Alzheimer’s, but crucially was otherwise fit and well, there was no help with care costs. It was only once she had registered physical care requirements that the Council would provide care. Had she not had savings or her own home, she would have been eligible for social care (which isn’t much). The Council funded care she received once eligible, took the form of 3 visits a day, for 15 mins each. By the time they’d checked what was written by the previous care visitor, adjusted her in bed to prevent sores, and written up their visit, their time was done. Everything else: feeding Granny, getting her into the hoist and on and off her commode (once she had lost mobility), giving her bed baths etc., all had to be done by family members. There was supposed to be a weeks respite care in a care home every few months, but due to lack of suitable spaces it ended up being once or twice a year. That was for nearly 8 years (she died recently). One family member gave up their job and moved in with her to facilitate all of this. Her house wasn’t worth much, and a care home would have been about £1,000 a week, with no guarantee of good care unfortunately. This was the only way to ensure she was properly looked after. As it happened the money if her house had been sold would have run out pretty quickly, and then it would have been a council care home or moving in with another family member, and doing the same as we did in her house.

It's not something that would ordinarily merit hospital care in the UK. However, if he were admitted to hospital in that state the high needs - particularly the aggression - would mean they might have difficulty finding somewhere they could discharge him.to.

It doesn't sound as if travel would be an option, so that makes 1 decision for you.

My dad had a fall in the street and banged his head, gave him a bleed on the brain and broke his leg/ hip at the same time. ( the hip he'd just had replaced) The bleed on the brain gave him a stroke as well, although I'm not sure that he may have had the small stroke that led to him falling, rather than the other way round.

Long story short, he's been in hospital, rehab hospital, rehab nursing homes and is now full time in a nursing home. He's never fully recovered the use of his left side, even with extensive therapy. (And he doesn't do his exercises, the staff can't make him as he complains he's tired)

He gets all his meals, washing etc done but has to pay extra for haircuts and toe nail cutting-£25 a time. He has definitely changed, he is bad tempered and sometimes downright unpleasant to me and my sister and there has been issues with the staff at the home. He needs help to get dressed, go to the toilet, get in and out of his bed or chair and into his wheelchair. He'll never walk again. He's gone from being someone who walked everywhere, went swimming every week, read the paper cover to cover to someone who sits in a chair in his room ( his choice) and stares at the TV all day. His charge for each week, last I heard, is £1183 per week which he is self funding. From what I can remember the fees go up by 5% every April so I'd expect it's more now.
My advice to you is under no circumstances bring him back here, things sound a lot better there than here.

If he is aggressive towards the staff, a nursing home may refuse to take him, in which case he would end up in hospital. It’s so hard dealing with someone who is physically aggressive. It’s actually easier in some senses once they’re non-mobile as their aggression becomes mostly verbal. But then there’s toileting and bathing to consider, which are not fun.

Look.up care company where you live and ask thrm
Maybe 1000£ a week live in care 24/7
Carre home 1500 to 2000 a week
Daily visits x 2 20£ each visit x 2 x 7 = 280 per week

For an average nursing home it's around £1300 per week. For a very good nursing home it's usually 2500+

My Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer late last year, and the whole system of care was horrendous. District nurses were supposed to take on his insulin doses but didn't, and my sister and I were thrown in at the deep end learning to dose him ourselves. Care packages were a joke - untrained carers who breezed in and out doing the absolute bare minimum apart from the odd real gem of a soul who actually did care. Even a nursing home was a disaster.... the nursing staff were uninterested, poorly trained and we had to push to get drug doses at consistent times.

I won't even begin to go into levels of hospital care... Dad was in for 5 days, and came out with c diff and Covid, not having had one single wash or change of clothing as we couldn't visit him (ward closed due to the infections). I actually cried when I collected him as he looked so awful.

OP- Have you checked whether he would even be eligible for any NHS help if he has lived abroad many years? A self funded person would cost even more.

Also, as someone else pointed out-how would he physically get back? Is he able to walk, toilet himself etc? I doubt a regular flight would accept him, unless he was calm enough to sit and not be agitated. A colleague had to medivac her daughter from Thailand and I think either a nurse or Dr travelled with her. She didn't have insurance and it was circa £10,000-£15,000 from memory- just the flight part! There might be other options, but I'm afraid I don't know.