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Original poster

This is ridiculous

105 replies

PurpleO · 14/07/2023 20:22

I'm currently on my period and I fucking hate it because of everyone and everything else.

I got up this morning and hmgot ready. It is now 8.15pm at night and I am still wearing the same sanitary pad that I put on this morning. I never once got a chance to change it. But this is always happening. Every single monthly period that I get. I am just not allowed 5 minutes to myself in the middle of the day. It's written in my contract and it's written down that I am allowed breaks and but the manager is a bully. I can go into work in the morning and I would often be required to work late without any notice and it might be 9 or 10 at night by the time I am home and I get a chance to chance the pad. Thats just insane.

I wasn't working today but I was caught for babysitting and then the parents couldn't be bothered coming home when they said they will be home. Then the same thing all day. Just crying out to get 5 minutes to myself. Then I made it home and I was dumped straight into the childcare at home and everything else. I finally found time at 8.15 and there was someone in the one and only bathroom. And at that stage I had to bully to get into to bathroom.

If I was a man I woupd be allowed a break but no, that's not allowed because I'm only just a woman. It feels as if I need to bully people for something basic as toileting and a change of sanitary pad.

Tampons don't fit me any more and I tried so hard with a cup but it just wouldn't work for me.

OP posts:
Juanmartinez · 15/07/2023 08:22

I hope you were sitting on the loo while typing this out.

LadyKenya · 15/07/2023 08:35

If I was a man I woupd be allowed a break but no, that's not allowed because I'm only just a woman. It feels as if I need to bully people for something basic as toileting and a change of sanitary pad.

You are allowed a break, it is up to you to make sure you take them. So your thinking is wrong there. Do the other women you work with face the same dilemma by any chance?

RabbitsRock · 15/07/2023 08:44

It’s a basic human right to go to the loo & to have proper breaks. I don’t usually work full time but if I was to do an 8 hour day, for example, I would have a 30 minute break & two 15 minute ones. I’m on a till so have to let someone know that I’m popping to the loo but there’s no way I wouldn’t be allowed to go! Actually it might be a 45 minute break now that I think.

xyz111 · 15/07/2023 09:04

This can't be real surely?? 🤨

Original poster
PurpleO · 15/07/2023 10:31

I'm allowed a loo break here and there but my bag is located away from the toilets and there's no time apparantly to allow me to go and get my period supplies in my bag. So often I miss a chance to change. By the time evening comes around sometimes work is trying to get me to stay later too so I could easily go up to 12 or 13 hours without changing a pad. I feel awful for it. It's just too long. Especially during the heavier days.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleO · 15/07/2023 10:33

Juanmartinez · 15/07/2023 08:22

I hope you were sitting on the loo while typing this out.

I managed to get a break in the toilet for a few minutes at that time but I was in tears on the loo because I was so sore and my knickers were soaked through and there was till so many demands on me. I really felt like flying into a rage last night so I would be allowed a few minutes for myself.

OP posts:
UrsulaIsMyQueen · 15/07/2023 10:35

Honestly you just need to be more assertive here. Surely no one is telling you off for taking too long on the toilet? Just go and get your bag. And when they’re asking you to stay late, either say no or, if you want to stay late, say ‘yes that’s fine, I just need a 10 minute break to freshen up’.

NutellaEllaElla · 15/07/2023 10:36

You're right, this is ridiculous but it's so alarmingly unusual is hard to believe that you genuinely are not able to go to the bathroom with the necessary supplies. By the way may I recommend a mooncup, you don't have to carry anything with you then.

Soubriquet · 15/07/2023 10:40

Do you have pockets? Can you put one in your pocket for when you can go to the toilet

PaigeMatthews · 15/07/2023 10:49

PurpleO · 15/07/2023 10:31

I'm allowed a loo break here and there but my bag is located away from the toilets and there's no time apparantly to allow me to go and get my period supplies in my bag. So often I miss a chance to change. By the time evening comes around sometimes work is trying to get me to stay later too so I could easily go up to 12 or 13 hours without changing a pad. I feel awful for it. It's just too long. Especially during the heavier days.

This sounds like sex discrimination. Go above your line manager.

Bemyclementine · 15/07/2023 10:52

Just do it when you go yo the toilet. Keep a pad in your pocket.

Original poster
PurpleO · 15/07/2023 10:54

I tried a cup but it doesn't fit in. I can manage the folding in my hands but it's not fitting in. I tried in between periods using lube too but it's just not working for me. My idea with a cup was to wear a cup with period underwear and hopefully that will bring me up to a 16 hour mark without a change just in case. I badly want to get used to a cup but it's just not working for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleO · 15/07/2023 10:55

I don't have pockets in my uniform and even if I did, the pads I wear are big ones because I need the big in case it's hours away again before a change. I don't use the slim pads.

OP posts:
Poppins2016 · 15/07/2023 10:56

I wouldn't have a choice but to go more often than that (I frequently flood during my period and have to change tampons + 'security pads' multiple times a day otherwise I'd be bleeding all over everything). I've had to get used to just saying that "I must go to the loo now", and that's that. You can do that if you choose to.

Soubriquet · 15/07/2023 10:57

Well then, you need to arrange a meeting with your manager, get a neutral party or a witness to attend with you and make it clear you need to have toilet breaks where you can go and collect your bag first.

johnnydeppsslipper · 15/07/2023 10:59

This is bloody ridiculous op

For god sake tell them you need to change sanitary wear and will be going to your bag to get it and then to the loo to change it.

Don't tell me you don't even manage to get a space in 12 hours to eat or drink either?

Deathraystare · 15/07/2023 11:02

Past periods now but have incontinence thanks to the pills I have to be on. Hopefully there is no problem with me going regularly. I am supposed to get a porter while I am away from my desk but they are always elsewhere.

There is also a notice to put up with a phone number but most days I don't even have the time to do that and most times I have just gone and had to go back!

My mum when she first worked never went at work because she did not like the look of the toilets. Ruined her bladder.

Somanycats · 15/07/2023 11:03

If you can't get to your bag, put one in your bra, or in a running belt or phone pouch underneath your uniform. Honestly you sound like your own worst enemy. You have to make your life work for you.

Original poster
PurpleO · 15/07/2023 11:04

Yesterday was one of the better days too where I started getting ready in the morning for 7 am (put on a pad) and then it was about 8.25 pm by the time I got into a loo to change again.

Sometimes I might be starting my day for 6am and honestly it might be 10 o clock at night by the time I am home and in my own toilet changing my pad.

OP posts:
NeedleFeltedFox · 15/07/2023 11:06

Put some pads in your bra. Always got one on you then. I mean there’s no way you aren’t allowed to go to the toilet in a 12 hour shift - just take yourself off for a comfort break.

jackstini · 15/07/2023 11:07

What does your boss say when you tell them you are bleeding through your underwear and need to change your pad?

Where do you work?

Why did you go straight into childcare are home, do you have a partner?

You have to start standing up for yourself - this is completely unreasonable

EarringsandLipstick · 15/07/2023 11:08

Don't be silly.

In your job, just go to the toilet. Your manager cannot stop you.

You said you weren't working but were babysitting yesterday - of course you could go to the toilet!

What's going on for you that you can't ensure your physical well-being? It's not your job.

Bemyclementine · 15/07/2023 11:08

You're being ridiculous OP. I had several years of very heavy periods. I had to change more than hourly. If I hadn't, I'd have had blood running down my legs and soaking through clothes. I have had that happen even with very frequent changes.

What job do you do? How do you eat or drink?

Original poster
PurpleO · 15/07/2023 11:09

August is usually particularly busy in work and I am dreading it. Honestly it will be a 8.30 am start and a finish for about 9 at night. I know when I finish work would be a good time to change but at that stage, I just want to run out the door in case I am caught for more and it's bed to get my ass on the road to go home. I have a better chance of going to the toilet and changing my pad onces I'm out the door and gone from the place.

I'm thinking I'm getting signed out of work for my August period. Just for the 2 or 3 heavier days of the period. On the lighter days it's not usually a problem.

OP posts:
CovertImage · 15/07/2023 11:12

Apart from all the bollox about work you haven't said how you weren't able to go to the toilet all day when you were "caught for babysitting"

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